I nodded, taking a couple of steps closer to her.
“I know. I’m sorry. I thought you wanted some space and I was confused. But mostly miserable.” I took another step forward. “It’s taken me a moment too long to realize what I think I’ve always known.” I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand, pleased when she didn’t move away. “The idea of letting anyone close to me is terrifying for reasons I can never explain. But the truth is that I can't imagine my big house without you in it." I paused letting her process what I was saying.
I moved another step closer. Her body heat slowly enveloped me.
"I want you to come home because I love you, Amber. Because I can't imagine that house without you in it. Because I want you. Because I need you. Because …"
For once, my extensive vocabulary and intelligence failed me. There simply weren’t any words to describe how I truly felt.
“Amber, I think you’re it for me.”
She shook her head stubbornly. “I hope I’m not.”
“I think you are. Amber, give me a chance.”
She bit her bottom lip, clearly undecided. “I need time.”
I sighed in relief; at least it was not a no.
I nodded, burying my hands in my pockets and taking a step back to give her a little more space. “Let me propose a bargain.”
She gave me a small smile. “You’re really into those, aren’t you?”
I shrugged with a little smile of my own. “I’m a businessman.”
“Okay, let's hear it.”
“Give me six months.”
“You’ve got a thing with six months as well.”
I shrugged. “Come home for six months. Let me show you that I can love you just as fiercely as I hated you, that I can protect you as well as I’d hurt you. Let me show you that you’re the one for me. Amber, you’re my life.”
“What if it doesn’t work? I’ll be risking everything on a promise.”
Fuck, that hurt. I couldn’t deny it.
“It’s called a leap of faith. I know you’ve done that before; do it again.”
She looked at me silently, crossing her arms on her chest.
I knew she could see the hurt in my eyes, but she was trying to stay strong. “I’ll let you go, for real this time. I’ll buy you a nice house with the deed in your name. I’ll even bless whatever relationship you might want with Jeremy the bore.”
“He is not a bore,” she defended.
I couldn’t help but glare, jealousy rearing its ugly head.
“And your friend, Dee, is it?”
“Yes?” she trailed off wearily, apprehension in her eyes. She was scared I was going to threaten her once more. And could I really blame her?
“If you accept, I’ll get her a beauty salon. State-of-the-art - everything. I’ll be an investor for only, like what? Twenty-five percent of the profit.”
“Ten,” she replied firmly.
I couldn’t contain my smile. Gotcha! She was so selfless, of course, she’d fight for someone other than herself. “You got yourself a deal. So what do you say?”
She sighed, uncrossing her arms. A little tendril of brown hair had escaped her bun and was laying against the side of her neck. My fingers twitched with the need to put it back behind her ear, to just touch her.
“Okay, and what if it does? What if I decide to stay?” she said, locking eyes with me.
I smiled. Reaching into my pocket, I brushed the small square velvet box that laid there.
I’d gone to the jewelry store earlier this week to buy her a few charms for my mother’s bracelet, tokens for what I hoped our relationship would become. But then, I’d turned around and saw it, the ring. It had been made for her. It was a Mervis Diamonds’ $100,000 cherry blossom engagement ring and it was hers.
It was in my pocket, but I couldn’t pull it out now. She was not ready.
“If you decide to stay?” I couldn’t help but reach for the strand of hair now. Putting it behind her ear, I let my fingers trail down the column of her neck. Fuck, I loved her skin, her softness, her smell that was so uniquely her, and her taste.
She nodded, unconsciously leaning into my touch.
“If you decide to stay, I’ll make sure you will never regret that choice. So what do you say? Are you taking this leap of faith?”
She looked away, still worrying her bottom lip. She was deciding if it was worth it. I couldn’t blame her if she said no. I’d messed up badly and a lot. Truth be told, if the situation was reversed I was certain I would not give her the solicitude I was requesting.
But, as my heart squeezed painfully, I mentally begged her to have a little shred of compassion left for me, a little bit of trust so she could make the jump.
“Okay,” she replied softly.
“Okay?” I repeated, unsure if I’d heard her correctly.
She nodded.
“Oh, thank fuck!” I huffed with relief, pulling her into a hug.
When she froze in my arms, I knew I should let her go, but I couldn’t, not yet.
I took a deep breath, taking her all in. She wouldn’t regret giving me one last chance. I would hold on to her for as long as I could.
You, Amber Collins, are mine to keep.
Coming back to the estate, strangely felt like coming home. I’d only spent five months there, and yet, I felt more at home here than I did in Philly.
I was happy to go back to my small room despite Dean’s insistence on moving me into one that was more luxurious and closer to his own. Being too close to him was dangerous for me, especially since he’d been nothing other than the perfect man since I’d moved back.
For the first week, I’d kept expecting him to revert to the angry Dean, but when that hadn’t happened, I’d started to relax and enjoy his presence.
He was making an effort to have lunch and dinner with me every night. Then, after I put Timmy to bed, he would join me in the small library, where we would read in companionable silence. I liked it; it was nice, but it was hard for me not to expect the other shoe to drop.
On Timmy’s first birthday, I found his crib empty except for a simple note.
‘I’m with Uncle Dean, learning to be a man. Come find us in his room.’ I rolled my eyes.
Not bothering to change out of my pajamas short and tank top, I padded barefoot to his side of the house. His bedroom door was open and I could hear Timmy laughing.
I smiled, resting my hand on my heart. I loved my little boy’s laugh.
“Hello?” I said, walking into the empty room.
“Ahhhh.” Timmy babbled at the sound of my voice.
Dean laughed. His laughs have become more and more common - yet another sound I was addicted to. I always wanted him to laugh.
“Ah, look who’s up? We’re in the bathroom,” he called.
I stopped dead at the vision before my eyes. The man was not playing fair.
He was bare-chested and wearing only a pair of grey sweatpants. I hadn’t even known he owned sweatpants, but Lord have mercy, it was an amazing view. I let my eyes take in his toned chest to a light dusting of dark hair on his pecks, the well-defined abs, and the happy trail leading to a part of him I missed more than I cared to admit.
“Eyes up here, Miss Collins.”