Lucas’s mind whirled, but he suddenly wanted that with such a burning passion it took his breath away. To belong. To have someone love him like that would be amazing.
“What did you think of the little room?”
Lucas smiled. “It’s amazing.” He loved the look on Charlie’s face when he’d been talking about Patrick. “I like the idea of being looked after, and not because I can’t do it myself, but because someone else wants to very much.” And he did. He was so giddy thinking of it he giggled.
Gabriel smiled, and Lucas admired the way his eyes softened. He loved the strength and the power radiating off the man. It reminded him of Jacob. And Lucas sobered a little.
“I understand from Adrian you are working tomorrow but will be finished at ten?”
Lucas nodded, and Gabriel smiled and stood up. “Then I am very much looking forward to talking to you tomorrow. Can I escort you to the little room?”
Lucas nodded, completely charmed, and Gabriel left him at the door. He pushed it open and spied Patrick right away talking to an older man. Charlie and another little were playing on the floor. Lucas grinned and headed over to them.
“Lucas, this is Daddy Jensen, and that’s Dash.”
He smiled, and Charlie tugged him down. In a moment he was helping Charlie and Dash construct a racetrack. He tried to lose himself in their excited chatter, but he couldn’t get two things out of his mind. Gabriel’s caring nature was one.
But the other was Jacob’s declaration that no one would ever match up to Ben.
“What did you think of the dungeon?” Patrick asked after he declared they would have to start tidying away.
Lucas shivered. “I don’t think that’s my thing.”
“You were out there quite a while for not liking it,” Patrick said, leaning forward in concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, Adrian introduced me to Master Gabriel, and I’m working tomorrow night. He has two servers out sick, and one of the subs that would normally be on the roster as well.”
Patrick smiled. “Gabriel is responsible. He’s young, but I knew the Dom who trained him, and he was a stickler. You would be safe if you wanted to spend time with him.”
Lucas nodded but didn’t reply. What he’d heard seemed to yawn between them.
“Jacob’s a good man.”
Lucas looked up. “I know,” he said a little defensively.
“I’m sorry you heard that,” Patrick said.
Lucas thought for a minute. “It isn’t what I didn’t already know. I’m under no illusions.”
“Ben could be a brat,” Patrick said fondly, surprising Lucas. “They were arguing a lot before Ben got sick. I imagine they would have worked it out, but Ben did get sick and very quickly, and that’s got a lot to do with the whole guilt thing he has going on.”
Lucas nodded because he couldn’t come up with a reply if his life depended on it.
“What I’m saying is he needs to forgive himself, and I think running away to England isn’t going to help.”
“But what can I do?” Lucas blurted out. “I’ve known him a week.” And I can’t replace Ben.
“I’m not suggesting for one second you do anything.” He thought for a moment. “I think you should meet people and enjoy yourself.”
And what was that supposed to mean?
“All done, Daddy.” Charlie cuddled into Patrick.
“Are you coming to the Christmas party?” Dash asked shyly.
“I—” Lucas glanced at Patrick, who grinned.
“It’s next week,” Patrick said. “Wednesday. And yes, you would be very welcome.”
Lucas smiled at Dash. “Then, thank you. I’d love to come.” They all got their jackets on and headed to the front door. At the last moment, Lucas remembered and ran to the bar to tell Adrian he was leaving with Patrick. Adrian thanked him solemnly for remembering to tell him and said he would see him tomorrow night.
It was cold outside, and Lucas was thankful for his borrowed jacket. “Oh,” Charlie said. “Looks like we’re not taking you home.” Lucas followed Charlie’s line of sight, and his eyes widened when he saw Jacob just getting out of his car. Patrick chuckled to himself and strode over to Jacob.
“We could have dropped him off.”
Jacob shrugged. “I was passing anyway.”
Which made zero sense as how would Jacob know Lucas hadn’t already left? But Patrick just nodded agreeably and reminded Lucas about the Christmas party next week. Lucas got in Jacob’s car. Had he waited for him? Lucas’s heart thudded against his ribs.
“What Christmas party?” Jacob asked as they drove out of the parking lot.
“Charlie invited me. It’s in the little room.”
“I’m surprised you’re allowed to go in there unaccompanied.”
Lucas was sure it wasn’t a dig, but it felt like it. “Adrian said I was allowed in tonight.” Jacob didn’t respond for a few minutes.
“Do you have any questions about what you’ve seen tonight?”
“No, thank you,” Lucas replied. Master Gabriel had just about covered everything. “Adrian asked if I can work tomorrow as he’s really short, but I don’t start until eight, so I have plenty of time to make sure I get supper done.”
“Are you sure you’re up to that though?”
Annoyance flashed through Lucas. “It’s only for two hours, and I also get brought home.”
“So you’ll be home just after ten?” Jacob pressed.
Lucas squirmed slightly. “I’m not sure.” Jacob glanced over at him quickly. “Master Gabriel wanted to spend some more time with me.”
The silence in the car seemed to go on for a very long time, but Lucas didn’t hurry to cover it. He hadn’t done anything wrong.
“I don’t know a Gabriel,” Jacob said after a moment.
“Patrick and Adrian said he was very experienced, and I have to wear a white and orange band when I’m there.”
“Novice and Adrian’s colors,” Jacob confirmed. “It looks like you’ve got everything worked out.” It sounded like a criticism, but Lucas wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong, and suddenly he wished he’d never gone. He could feel his newfound confidence trickling out of him, and he slumped in his seat. They arrived home a few minutes later, and Lucas stiffly asked Jacob if he needed anything before he went to bed.
“No,” Jacob answered with a mildly surprised air. “I was going to make a hot chocolate. Would you like one?”
“No, thank you,” Lucas said stubbornly, even though he did, and jogged upstairs to his bedroom. Lucas hurriedly went into the bathroom and then dragged on some old sleep pants of his that were ripped all along one leg, but he didn’t have any others, and an old T-shirt that was just as worn. He brushed his teeth and scrambled into bed, shivering slightly, then looked up at the soft knock on his door. Jacob nudged it open and stood awkwardly with two steaming mugs.
“I was making some anyway. Just leave it if you still don’t want any.”
Lucas reached out. “Thank you.” But Jacob stepped back.
“Sit up, it’s hot.”