I kept my eyes closed. "Nothing."
"It couldn't have been nothing. You really liked her. I could tell. What changed your mind?"
"Really, it was nothing. I just didn't think she was worth pursuing."
"I don't really remember last night. Did I say something?"
I opened my eyes and leaned forward. "No. It wasn't anything you did. You're good."
"So just tell me what happened. Maybe I could help somehow? She really did seem nice. I think if you gave her another chance..."
"Just drop it, okay?"
"I just don't see why you would have changed your mind if..."
"Look, she completely lost it. I'm pretty sure she's crazy. I don't know what you said to her but she just kept talking about how you needed help. She doesn't even know you. She just assumed that you were an addict."
"So it was my fault."
"No it wasn't your fault."
"But she was right. I am an addict."
"You're not. You're good. You've been clean for years." I hated when he referred to himself like that. He used to be depressed. He used to have nothing to live for. Now he did. He had Penny. He wasn't an addict anymore.
"It's not something that goes away."
"But you're good now."
"Yeah. I am. Maybe she knew about my past though. Maybe she thinks I drop acid on the regular." He smiled.
I laughed.
"Wasn't it kind of nice of her to worry though?"
"No. She didn't talk about it in a nice way. She was judging me for not getting you help when you don't need any. She went bat shit crazy. Look, if anything, I'm grateful to you. I don't want anything to do with her."
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
"I need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back." He stood up.
"No more phone calls or Matt and Mason will try to beat me up."
James laughed. "I kind of got that when you all came charging at me while I was on the phone this morning. Thanks for trying to stop them by the way. But I'm not going to call Penny. I've already made my one phone call while being held here against my will."
"Are you seriously comparing paradise to prison?"
"It's not paradise without my girl."
"Matt's right. You're totally whipped."
"Trust me, if Penny and I were into that kind of thing, I'd be the one whipping her, not the other way around."
"I never know if you're joking, or if you and Penny are really just the kinkiest couple ever. If it's the latter, I'm so jealous."
"It's the latter."
I groaned. I was horny. I had gotten at least five hard-ons yesterday thinking about being inside Daphne. She was such a tease. I didn't need images of Penny naked and being punished running through my head. "By the way, did you enjoy that magazine and lotion this morning?"
"Nope. If she wants me to wait, I'll wait. But I'm pretty sure that wait will be over tonight, if you know what I mean."
"Go pee, you pervert."
James laughed and walked toward the hotel.
I picked up the book he was reading. How was he not mad about Daphne jumping to conclusions about him? I guess he didn't need to be. I was mad enough for both of us. I looked down at the book. It was something boring about real estate. I had no idea why he found pleasure in reading stuff like this. I opened it up and a piece of paper fell onto my lap. I unfolded it and looked down at the letter.
Penny,
You once asked me if I was a believer in fate. I am because of you. When you fell into my arms, I had no idea that my life was about to change forever. But you knew. You fought for me when I didn't deserve anyone on my side. Your persistence and stubbornness and beauty brought me to my knee after only knowing you for two months. I'm crazy about you and I can't wait for our future. I can't wait for our lives together with you as my wife. You showed me that our pasts don't matter. You see a goodness in me that I was never able to see in myself. You make me want to be a better man for you. You saved me, Penny. You are the air I breathe. You are the dreams I dream. You are the light of my life. I'm consumed by your beauty, inside and out. I'm the lucky one. And I don't know why you picked me. But I'm grateful every day. When I wake up every morning and see your face, I'm reminded that I am the luckiest man alive. I just need you to know that you can always fall into my arms. I'll always be there to catch you.
It wasn't a letter. These were his vows. My eyes had actually gotten a little teary reading them. I folded the paper and put it back in his book.
I wasn't sure if I'd ever feel this way about someone. It wasn't just about how much he loved her. It was his commitment to her. That he'd always be there for her. That was just how James was. He had always been there for me too.
That wasn't me. I was unreliable. I traveled more than I stayed at home. I didn't have roots. My sister, James, and Penny were the closest thing I had to roots. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to keep me grounded. For awhile I thought committing to someone would mean the end to my adventure, the end to truly living. But James didn't make it sound like that. He seemed so excited to marry her and so excited for their future. Maybe falling in love was just the beginning of a different journey.
I tossed the book back onto James' chair. It didn't matter. It wasn't like I was going to fall in love in paradise. And I wasn't ready to settle down yet anyway. In a few years, I'd find a nice normal girl who lived near me, wherever that might be. One who didn't order food like an arrogant snob.
Chapter 27
Daphne
I was only half paying attention to the instructor. I kept glancing over my shoulder waiting for Rob to come. But he never did. None of them did. I told myself I wanted to avoid him, but I couldn't deny my disappointment that he had skipped the zip lining tour. I needed to apologize to him. That was it. I definitely wasn't thinking about his naked body glistening with water. Stop thinking about him naked.
I tried to focus on what the instructor was saying. One of the other people on the tour was already getting straps tightened around their thighs and torso. I had missed all of the instructions.
"This is going to be awesome," Alina said. "Are you excited?"
"How does it stop?"
"It angles up a little at the end. It's not like a sudden stop, it's gradual."
"Have you done this before?"
"No, but the instructor was just talking about it."
I fidgeted with the bracelet on my wrist, trying to ignore the ones for the stupid bracelet game. No one had approached me or tried to present a card. No one else looked at me the way Rob did. No one ever had. And I had basically called him an irresponsible idiot that I wanted nothing to do with. And now I was going to die. I was going to fall off the zip line onto the muddy ground and snap my neck. Why did anyone ever do this? How was a few minutes of flying through the sky worth the risk?
"I can't do this," I whispered.
"What do you mean? You basically just sit there. You don't have to do anything."