I wiped away the tears on my cheeks. God, I'm such an asshole. I hadn't just offended Rob, I had offended his brother too. Yet, instead of avoiding me, James had written me this letter. It was a mixture of apology, understanding, and forgiveness, none of which I deserved. If I hid in my room for the rest of the day, I'd regret it. These guys weren't bad news. I had to apologize to both of them.
I stuffed the note in my pocket and ran toward the door. I retraced my steps until I was standing out by the pool again. But Rob wasn't there anymore. James was sitting next to Mason and there was an empty seat on the other side of him where Rob had once been. Maybe apologizing to them one at a time would be easier. I walked toward him before I could chicken out.
"James?"
He looked up from his book and smiled. "Hey, Daphne."
I didn't deserve that smile. Why was he so nice? He should be angry at me. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"I was hoping you would." He put down his book and turned toward me. "I'm assuming you got my note?"
I nodded. Again, I hadn't planned what to say. I sat down in the empty seat beside him. "I owe you an apology."
"You don't, actually. If anything, I should be thanking you for looking out for me last night."
I shook my head. "No. I didn't even stay long enough to make sure you were okay, I..."
"I'm still grateful." He stared at me for a second. "You do, however, owe my brother an apology."
I was a little taken aback by his honesty. "I know. I thought he'd still be out here. Do you know where he went?"
"I'm pretty sure he went looking for you."
"Why?
James smiled. "Because he saw that you were upset, and that's the kind of man he is."
I looked down at my hands. "I'm not sure how much Rob told you about what I said last night..."
"Enough to realize that you were upset by me and not him."
"I wasn't upset with you."
"It's okay. I understand why you would jump to conclusions about me. I think I've done enough to earn people's skepticism."
"That's not why I said what I did." I didn't want James to think I was a judgmental monster for no reason. Why was this still so hard to talk about? "I lost someone close to me because of an overdose. I just...I was worried."
"I'm sorry."
"And I was scared that if I got close to Rob and something happened to you..." my voice caught in my throat.
"If I've learned one thing in my life it's that you need to stop living in the past. It'll eat you up until nothing is left."
"I wish I had you in class. I feel like you were probably a really good professor."
He laughed. "Yeah, maybe."
"Do you ever think about teaching again?"
"I've made my choices and I'm happy with them."
He was too obliterated to remember last night. Which meant he didn't remember confessing that he missed being a professor. But his answer about being happy with his choices seemed so honest. Maybe he wasn't even aware of what he really wanted.
"You don't ever miss it?" I asked.
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. When he did that, he looked so much like Rob. "Sometimes. It was always going to be temporary, though."
I wasn't sure what he meant by that. I shrugged my shoulders. "If you say so. I should probably go find your brother. Any ideas of where he might be?"
"I love him to death, but patience isn't one of his virtues. If he hasn't found you yet, he's probably admitted defeat. Check our room or take a look in some of the bars here."
I laughed. Maybe that was why Rob seemed so surprised when I said love grew from patience. "Okay." I stood up. "Thanks for being so understanding."
"Of course I understand. Like I said, I don't blame you for thinking what you did."
He carried a lot on his shoulders. Why wouldn't he let anyone else help with his burden? He said he was at peace with his past, so why did it seem like he hadn't let it go? At the same time, he didn't appear upset about the conclusions I had jumped to. He just accepted it, adding to the weight on his shoulders, like he could take anything at all. He seemed so invulnerable, the complete opposite of what he was like last night. I can't believe I didn't think he had his life together. He was nothing like Derek. "Penny's a lucky girl."
"I'm the lucky one." The way he said it made it sound like there was no room for doubt. He lifted his book back up, and picked up where he had left off.
Chapter 28
Rob
I didn't want to be in Costa Rica anymore. I wanted to go home. Not to Newark, or my horrible parents, or the guest room at Penny and James' apartment that was actually just my room. I needed to get my own place in New York. The city had always truly been my home, and that was where I needed to be. And I needed to get my shit together. I was sick of fucking easy college chicks. I was sick of having my life up in the air. I needed roots. And I could do that without a girl.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge and kicked it closed with my foot. I was almost relieved that I hadn't found Daphne. Yeah, she was upset and needed someone to comfort her, but that someone wasn't me. Despite what she might think, I didn't do anything wrong. I defended my brother. She was in the wrong. She should be apologizing to me, not the other way around. And if I had found her crying, I would have tried to comfort her like an idiot. She probably would have just thrown more insults at me.
After switching my wet swim trunks for sweatpants, I lay down in the bed. This weekend was supposed to be fun. Instead, it left me questioning how I was living my life. And no matter how much I told myself I hated her, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about Daphne. Just picturing her face and her perfect tits made my blood boil. But it also made me hard as a rock. What was going on with me? Was this a failed conquest thing? Maybe if I could just fuck her, I could forget all about her and this awful vacation.
I downed the rest of my beer and tossed the bottle in the recycling bin. One thing was for sure, I needed to stop moping around in my room. There were tons of single women here. I was just horny, that was it. I didn't need Daphne. I'd find another dime and call it quits on paradise. Or maybe I should just use the magazine I bought James.
The magazine was sitting untouched on the nightstand. But I didn't need it. I thought about my hands on Daphne's ass and her moaning in my mouth. She had gripped my hair in her hand, trying to deepen our kiss. I could easily imagine her falling to her knees and putting her soft lips around my cock.
A knock on the door made me groan. It was not easy to hide a boner in sweatpants. I readjusted myself and walked over to the door. After I got rid of whoever it was, I'd take a nice long shower. I opened up the door and Daphne was standing there staring at me with her big green eyes. Well, if staring at my abs counted as staring at me. Strands of hair had fallen from her ponytail and curled in the humidity. She had mud all over her sneakers and shins and her shirt was sticking to her chest from sweat. Her face was flushed, either from being perpetually embarrassed from all the stupid shit that came out of her mouth or from being incredibly turned on by the site of me without a shirt. Probably both. Either way, she didn't look like she was crying anymore. Which meant I had no obligation to try to console her, something which she really didn't deserve anyway.