“Can you really blame her?” My traitor of a best friend asks.
“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side no matter what?”
“Not when I’ve been telling you for years not to be such a ho-bag.” She smiles smugly. “And we both know how stubborn you are. If you actually wanted her attention, you would get it.” She taps her index finger against her lips. “So, it begs the question, why aren’t you trying harder to win her back?”
“Maybe I just think that she deserves better than an old ho-bag as you so eloquently put it.” I say lowly while looking down at my desk but not really seeing it.
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” The concern and sympathy in her eyes when I look up make me wish that I had kept my eyes down.
“How can I not?” I sigh while pinching the bridge of my nose. “Other women don’t have to deal with the shit that Stacey had to. She doesn’t deserve having to constantly wonder what random chick from my past is going to come up next.”
She pulls her legs up to her chest and puts her heels on the edge of the chair. She wraps her arms around her knees and gives me a sad but determined look, which is truthfully a little terrifying. “I get what you’re saying, probably more than anyone else since I was there for all of your poor choices concerning women.” She pauses waiting for me to refute, but we both know that I can’t so I just stay quiet. “But you are not that guy anymore. You haven’t been him for a while. It was just really shitty luck that she showed up like that. But I’m sure Stacey will realize that you’re not that manwhore anymore.”
Sage purses her lips and gives me a grumpy look. “Honestly, I don’t know why she ran for the hills at the first little speed bump.”
“Probably because for her it’s a mountain.” I crack my neck knowing that I’m really to blame for this whole situation.
“I don’t follow.” Confusion evident in her voice.
I rub my eyes, suddenly feeling like I’ve aged twenty years in the last few months. “Her ex was a serial cheater. He cheated on her from pretty much the beginning and from what Brad has told me in passing, was verbally abusive. I’m pretty sure that when she saw Cadence kiss me, her past just flashed before her eyes. I really don’t even blame her for fleeing. I understand the need for self-preservation.”
“Well, shit.”
“Yup, pretty much.” I agree.
“We can still turn this around and get you back to being all loved up.” Sage states with too much enthusiasm to be a good thing.
“Isn’t that what got me into this mess in the first place?” I ask warily.
Her eyes go all squinty like they do when she’s about to yell at the girls. “No, being a big ole slut is what got you into this mess. Being all loved up by Stacey was good for you. I haven’t seen you that happy in forever. Even the girls liked how happy she made you.”
“They knew?” I ask, surprised. I thought that we hid our relationship pretty well.
She chuckles evilly. “Who do you think clued in everyone else?”
I roll my eyes. “Of course they did.” I shake my head with a smirk. “Funny thing is that she wanted to keep us a secret because she thought the girls wouldn’t approve.”
“Please, all three girls were already picking out their bridesmaids dresses.” She gives me a sly smile. “And picking out which guys from the gym that they wanted to be their partners.”
“Over my cold, dead body are any of the assholes from here coming near my three girls.” Yes, I consider Paige to be mine, just like JJ does for Missy and Becca. We’re just one big, crazy ass family at this point and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The snort she makes causes her to sound like a demented pig. “You do realize that they’re all almost eighteen and no longer little girls, right? There is no way that you can stop them from dating whomever they want.”
My lips purse harder than when sucking on a sour piece of candy. “True.” I concede. “But I sure as hell can make sure that all the walking hard-ons around here know to stay the fuck away from those three.” My mind is already swirling with ideas of what I can do to all of them. Hmm, yeah I should probably start making sure that they workout hard enough to puke at least twice a week while casually mentioning how no one is allowed near my girls. That should do the trick.
“You’re thinking about being mean aren’t you?” Sage asks while eying me warily.
I look at her and blink a few times. “Why do you ask?’
“Because you have the same look on your face that Becca and Missy get when they’re thinking of new ways to be evil.”
I shrug my shoulders, enjoying the way that my back cracks. “I mean, we are related.”
Sage nods her head slowly. “Which is why they’re probably already five steps ahead of you.”
I bark out a laugh. “There’s no way.” I chuckle. “Why would they even think that I would try to do anything to the guys around here?”
Sage leans her head against the back of the chair and sighs. “Probably because they’ve been at least ten steps ahead of us since they turned four.”
I grab my steel water bottle that Stacey bought me about six months ago, because plastic is full of chemicals according to her, and unscrew the top. “Okay, I’ll give you that, but why the hell would the guys even consider dealing with my wrath when there are a ton of cage bunnies around all the time?” I take a sip from the bottle and promptly wish that I hadn’t.
“You know damn well that men go stupid when sex is involved.” She says before shrieking as I spit out my water all over her. “Gross!”
“What the hell are you talking about? They’re only seventeen!” I choke out while simultaneously coughing up a lung. You would think that I’m a smoker with emphysema right now.
Sage glares at me as she uses the napkins from my lunch to wipe down her shirt. “By the time that we were seventeen, the twins were already a year old.” She states drily.
“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.” I moan out. “I’ve been so happy that they haven’t followed in our footsteps, that I never really considered that they could actually be se….seeee,” I gag, unable to say the words.
“Sexually active?” Sage helpfully replies.
“Yeah, that.” Jesus, what is happening? I take the front of my shirt and try to fan myself. Is it getting hot in here?
She’s back to giving me a look that says that I’m a moron. “Did you think that they were going to stay virgins forever?”
“Yes.” I reply without hesitation. “I don’t see,” I start before frowning at Sage. “Don’t give me that look. Is it really so hard to think that they may want to stay away from all men until the day they die?”
She looks at me for a few seconds before shaking her head and standing up from the chair. “Right. I’m going back to my office.”
“What? Where are you going? We need to discuss how to stop this.” I may say that an octave higher than my normal voice. And if I do, it’s only because of my previous coughing fit, that’s all.
She walks to the door before turning around and pinning me with a look. “No, I need to go back to my office because I just can’t deal with this level of crazy and stupid today.”