“Sorry I wasn’t here earlier. I got a bit of a later start than I planned.”
It’s an opportune time for Clay to walk in. He tosses me a wink. “I’m sure you did.”
Mom glances between us but doesn’t ask. Instead, she fusses over Dad, who insists he’s fine and we all need to get about our lives. We ignore him, and it’s a welcome distraction when Mom starts teasing him with stories from early on in their marriage. Then she turns her attention to Clay and me.
Eventually, a nurse kicks us out, and Mom declares she’s going home to pour a glass of sherry and take a bubble bath. I take Clay up on his offer of meeting at a bar around the corner.
Again, a welcome distraction.
We’re sitting at the bar, me nursing my bourbon and Clay sipping on a dirty martini. All it does is remind me of Amelia and the way she worked those tiny straws between her lips. I pick up my drink and down it one gulp, signaling for another.
I feel Clay’s eyes on me, and I turn towards him.
He gestures to my empty glass. “Something tells me you may have finished the house, but there’s still unfinished business in Crystal Cove.”
“Something like that.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Nope.”
Clay hits me on the shoulder then rises from his stool. “You got it, bro. No talking tonight. Wanna play pool?”
I groan, picturing Amelia leaning over the table at Mickey’s, her pert ass on full display for everyone in the bar.
It’s been less than twelve hours and Amelia’s everywhere.
Clay’s right. She’s unsettled business, and as soon as Dad’s better, I’m going back to Crystal Cove until I can close the deal.
IN THE FEW WEEKS SINCE Knox left, I’ve barely had a moment to myself. If Sunny’s not dragging me to the beach or to Mickey’s, Sam’s stopping by with the latest horror movie to come to VHS. Part of Sam’s job with me is countless movie nights. We just finished The Godfather Parts I & II, in which Sunny claimed Robert DeNiro as her own. Me? I was glad to get a break from Paul Newman.
They’re all irritatingly overbearing in the best way and I love spending more time with my friends, but I’d be lying if I said missing Knox is any less brutal than it was before.
And because I’m clearly a glutton for punishment, I decide to make good on my promise of doing a final deep clean to his lake house.
Except, when I get there, it doesn’t really need it. I don’t know if he’s hired someone or he did a damn good cleaning job after his mom had called, but I’m at a loss without anything to do.
Other than wander through each and every room, where memories wash over me.
It’s odd. All of Knox’s things are gone—there’s no trace of him. Even when I tried to get him to pick out decorations, he wasn’t interested. Claimed he’d do that once the place was fully renovated, because what was the point of cluttering up the area in the meantime. It made sense to me at the time, but now that I’m back here, I’m beginning to realize that perhaps he didn’t want any personal touches on the place.
The realization takes my breath away.
When I offered that maybe we’d see each other next summer, he knew. He knew all along he had no intention of coming back.
He knew it, and he kept it from me, even when I made a fool of myself by saying we could leave it up to fate.
There will be no fate. No future.
I guess I’m going to have to get used to it.
Sunny’s tending bar when I get to Mickey’s. A cold beer’s already waiting for me when I get to the spot that’s been mine since Knox left. She takes one look at me and leans her elbows on the bar, her eyebrows raised.
“You look chipper.”
“I went to Knox’s place today.”
She frowns. “And that put you in a good mood?”
I hold the tickets up. “Found these. The Journey concert we were supposed to go to together is in two days. And he left the tickets. I figured it’d be a shame if they went to waste. You in?”
Her eyes widen and she glances around the bar until she spots Joe. “Babe! Can you cover me Saturday night? Meems scored us tickets to Journey.”
Joe gives her a thumbs-up and she squeals. He’s so getting lucky tonight.
Sunny’s glee disappears when she turns back to me. “And now you look like someone kicked your vadge.”
I clench my thighs together in phantom pain, my grimace tightening. “I went to Knox’s place today,” I repeat.
“Ah.” She grabs a glass and a bottle then propels the whisky towards me. “You hit me with the good news first.”
“All this time, I’ve pushed the pain back. Because I had hope. I mean, he has a house here. Even if it takes ten months for him to come back, I had hope that he’d do just that. Come back here.”
“And?”
“I realized it’s false hope. Knox may own that home, but it’s an investment property. He’ll rent it out to families and couples vacationing in Crystal Cove like he did with his family as a kid. It was never meant to be actually be his, other than in name. It just took me this long to actually get that.”
Sunny’s eyes soften. “Oh, Meems. You don’t know that.”
“He’s not there, Sunny. I mean, there’s nothing that signifies that it’s his. Plus, he actually told me that was the plan and I didn’t listen.”
“Even if it is going to be a rental, that doesn’t mean he couldn’t come back, even for a weekend.”
She’s got a point.
She leans across the bar and squeezes my hand. “You can’t give up hope. Even if it feels impossible.”
It’s at this moment that Sam sidles up to the bar and drops down on the stool next to me. “You come here often, babe?” he asks, lowering his voice by two octaves.
Thankful for the distraction, I twist to face him. “What’s the matter, Sam? Striking out with the blonde over there?” I ask, lifting my chin and gesturing to the girl he was flirting with earlier.
“Boyfriend back home. Not interested,” he sighs then shrugs. “No harm. I’d rather spent my night with my best girl anyways.”
If Sunny’s been a constant at my side, Sam’s a close second. I didn’t disclose to Sam or Joe what happened between Knox and me—or that I had feelings for him. But if Sunny’s to be believed, everyone knew it except for us. Sam’s taken it upon himself to become a one-man cheering up squad. I think their plan is to continually distract me until I’m over the guy.
The distracting part works during the day. It’s at night when I miss him, crave him the most.
Still, I have a fonder appreciation for Sam after these past few weeks. And I tell him.
“I don’t want to get all mushy or anything, but I just want you to know you’ve really been a rock. The three of you have been, and I’m an ass for staying away for so long.”
His boyish grin fades just a bit. “It’s all right, Meems. We all understood. Just… Just don’t go disappearin’ on us again, capisce?”
“I won’t, Sam. I promise.”
He shoulder-checks me and tosses me a teasing grin. “If you ever get lonely, you know where to find me. There’s nothin’ wrong with a one-way ticket to pound town, if ya know what I mean,” he drawls, wiggling his eyebrows.