“There has to be some sort of misunderstanding,” Sunny offers.
“I’ll drive to Nashville and flay the bastard myself,” Grams declares. “My word! Getting a young woman pregnant when he has grown children himself!”
I’m still reeling from her revelation. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick.
Sunny jumps up and screeches, “Wait!”
Grams and I both stare at her.
She points to Grams. “You said he has grown children?”
“Yes. Two boys, I believe.”
She swivels to me. “It’s not even remotely possible for your Knox to have grown children.”
It dawns on me. Relief rushes in as quickly as the anguish recedes. “It’s a family name.”
The ire drains from Grams’ face. “Well, that’s a relief. Although I still have half a mind to go kick this young man’s behind. He needs to know what he’s done.”
“Grams, calm down. First, this isn’t just on him. I was a willing participant. He doesn’t know yet. I’ll tell him. When I’m ready.”
I just don’t know when the hell that’ll be.
“BRO.”
A plush baseball hits me on the side of my head. I glance up from my desk and see my brother frowning at me. “What the hell, Clay?”
“What the hell yourself, Knox? Mom called me. She’s worried about you.”
It’s my turn to frown. “She shouldn’t be. I’m fine.”
Clay lifts an eyebrow in disbelief. “Dude. All you’ve done since coming back from Crystal Cove is work and school.”
I lean back in my chair. “How is that different from any other school year?” I ask. “Besides, if I want to graduate early, I have to focus.”
“You don’t have to do any extra shit to graduate early. You’re on track, and with Dad getting ready to go back to work, you’ll have plenty of time to balance work and school. Why don’t you ever come out anymore? Maria and I haven’t seen you in weeks.”
“I’m too busy.”
“You’re full of shit is what you are.”
I scowl, because it pisses me off how well he can read me. Clay’s not only my brother, he’s my best friend. The person who knows me nearly better than I know myself. There’s no sense in lying to him.
“I have no desire to go out. To meet anyone else.”
Realization dawns in his eyes. “Ah. Meems.”
My eyes cut to his.
“So much for a summer fling. You fell for her. Just as quickly as I fell for Maria, even though you scoffed at the idea.”
I’m waiting for the “I told you so.”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen,” I say. “Hell, I don’t even know how it happened. One second, I was content just being with her, and the next, I couldn’t fathom a life without her. I don’t even know when or where the flip switched.”
“You never stood a chance.”
I move my gaze from my drink to Clay. “What do you mean?”
“I could see it on your face. It’s the same expression I’m sure I had when I met Maria.”
I groan. “Oh, hell, not this again.”
“Hey, I didn’t buy into it, either. Not until it happened to me. But there’s something to be said for the Wellington Way. It hit me like buckshot. One single moment splintered me into a thousand pieces. Pieces I never wanted put back together. Because going back to life before Maria? Unfathomable.”
He’s lucky his was just buckshot. I’ve taken on a whole battalion of artillery and then some. And I still lost the war.
“I don’t have a choice.”
“The hell you don’t. You know where she is.”
“Dad needs me here.”
“There’s nothing here I can’t handle.”
I want to believe him. But I made Mom a promise, and if I take off, Dad will try his damnedest to go back to work before he’s ready.
“I need to be here, Clay. You still need to focus on school.”
“And yet your heart is still there,” he reminds me.
I sigh. “You’re right. Each mile I got farther from Crystal Cove was agony. I could feel it in my bones. How wrong it was. It’s been weeks and I miss her more than I ever thought possible. More each day.”
Clay raises a glass. “She’s the one, bro.”
No shit.
“I miss her like oxygen,” I tell him. “Like she’s the air in my lungs, and without her, I’m left breathless. Sometimes it’s only in the back of my mind. Like when you’re standing on the shore and the tide recedes. You miss the water, but you know it’ll return. Other times, like when I’m lying in bed at night and it’s quiet, it’s so intense it feels like drowning. Like I’ve gone underwater and, no matter how hard I struggle, I can’t come up for air. Without her, I don’t know if I ever will.”
“Because you love her.”
Because I love her.
“But my life is here and hers is…everywhere,” I reply. “Our futures are out of sync. Heading in complete opposite directions.”
“Is that what she said?
I recall her words: Our lives are intersecting lines, never to meet again.
“Basically,” I tell my brother. “She doesn’t want to be rooted to Tennessee, and the roots I have here are firmer than a white oak’s.”
“That is quite the conundrum.”
“It is what it is. I’ll get over it. Eventually.”
He knows it’s bullshit as much as I do.
Clay shoots me a pointed look. “Or you won’t. But you’ll know where to find her when you figure out you won’t ever be able to live without her. It’s going to happen, Knox. The only question is: How long do you plan on torturing yourself?”
I don’t get over it. Not even close. Hell, I move in the opposite direction. And like Clay predicted, I torture myself day in and day out.
The days grow shorter, with Mother Nature taking pity on us and ending the heat wave, offering relief with cooler temperatures as the leaves turn from green to oranges, yellows, and reds.
All it does is make me think of Amelia.
Summer will always be a reminder of her. The cacophony of crickets and cicadas echoing all around us. The moonlit sky reflected in dazzling eyes that gazed at me intently. The sound of rain, the crash of thunder, the flash of lightning. The sweltering heat and droplets of sweat.
But it’s not just summer. Now that autumn is here, I wonder what she’s doing. Is she out photographing the changes in the trees? Does she still spend time at the lake now that the summer heat’s faded? Is she even still there? Do I cross her mind even half as much as she crosses mine?
The holidays come and go, and I wonder where Amelia is, who she’s celebrating with. Is it just her and her Grams, or is she back with the gang in Crystal Cove?
I graduate early, ready to take on more work at Wellington, but Dad won’t hear of it. He claims it’s still my last semester whether I have classes or not and says, “Get your ass out there and have fun while you still can.”
I begrudgingly listen, and all that does is turn me into a third wheel to Clay and Maria.