I lean over and ruffle his already rumpled dark hair. “Sorry, buddy. You’re gonna have to punch your ticket elsewhere.”
He shrugs and gives me a wink. “It was worth a shot.”
Zombies’ “Time of the Season” comes over the jukebox and I laugh as Sam hops up from the bar. I swivel to watch the way he wiggles his hips and shimmies along with the beat. His moves rival those of Prince, and part of me wishes we had chemistry. A rebound would make this all so much easier.
Then again, that’s what Knox was supposed to be and look how that turned out.
“Come on, Meems! Don’t leave me hangin’ out here all on my own. I feel the rhythm and I’ve got to move!” He holds a hand out, wanting a dance partner, shakin’ his ass along with the beat.
Sunny’s shaking her head and giggling. “Wanna wallow in your self-pity, or do you wanna help the poor sap out?”
Sunny’s dealing out all the sage advice tonight, and I find I want to listen. I leap from my stool and sashay into Sam’s outstretched, awaiting arms. It’s not the same. It’s not Knox.
But it won’t ever be again.
Might as well get used to it.
Sunny and I make the drive to Knoxville the day before the concert. It’s the first time I’ve been back to my apartment this summer. It feels like a lifetime ago that I left. I tell her I have to run a couple of errands, and she doesn’t mind staying at my apartment while I’m gone.
When I return, Sunny holds up a pair of sweatpants with an eyebrow raised. I laugh. Genuinely laugh. I haven’t done that since Knox left, and I wonder if maybe I’m healing.
“Oh my god. Those are Robert’s.” I roll my eyes and snatch them from her grasp. “I should probably search the place for any other mementos he may have left.”
“I wasn’t snooping,” she says, and I give her a pointed look. “Fine, you caught me. There’s a photo of you two on your nightstand. Girl, gotta tell you, he’s nothing like Knox.”
My insides twist. Okay, so maybe healing is a little ways off. “I’m pretty sure that’s why I was attracted so quickly.”
Sunny nibbles on her lower lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
I smile and wave the thought away. “It’s fine. It happened. If I pretend it didn’t, I lose all the memories. I can be sad it’s over while still appreciating the experience.”
“That’s a good way of looking at it.”
“Now, what do you say we order takeout and watch bad movies? We’ve got a big night tomorrow and I don’t want to be falling asleep or nursing a headache while Steve Perry’s bare chest is, like, one-hundred feet away from me.”
“Agreed, but on one condition.”
“What?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Please don’t make me watch Mesa of Lost Women again.” She shivers. “The thought of being injected with spider venom…”
I laugh. “Fine, instead of bad movies, how about ones with eye candy?” I offer, knowing she’ll jump at that.
In fact, I let her choose.
Though I could kick myself when she selects What a Way to Go! I can’t blame her. When it comes to eye candy, getting Paul Newman, Dean Martin, Gene Kelly, Robert Mitchum, and Dick Van Dyke all in one film is pretty much the ultimate choice.
Hell, it doesn’t matter what we watch. Nothing will ever erase him from my mind.
We’re in awe when we walk into the Knoxville Civic Coliseum. Throngs of people mill about, sipping beer, standing in line to buy all the Journey merch. Sunny drags me to the line, purchasing a tank, a poster, and one for me as well.
“For the tickets. It’s the least I can do,” she says.
“Thanks. It’s not like I bought them.”
There’s a pang in my heart. I love Sunny, and I’m glad she’s with me. But…I should be experiencing this with Knox. This concert was supposed to be our final weekend. And I can only imagine how we’d have spent the night. All primed and ready to go from the concert. Steve Perry’s voice is a known aphrodisiac, after all.
Now, it feels like he’s been gone for forever.
Sunny bumps my shoulder with hers. “Not tonight, Meems. For just one night, forget about him. Let’s have fun.”
I hook my hair behind my ear and plaster on a smile. Then I loop my arm through hers. “You’re right. Forget him.”
I hold myself together most of the time. Until about halfway through the concert, when Steve Perry, shirtless and hair flowing, croons the bridge of “Stay Awhile.”
I lose it, bursting into tears that stream like molten lava down my cheeks. The proverbial dam breaks, damaged beyond repair, unleashing every last drop I’ve tried to hold in for nearly a month. Not wanting to make a scene, grateful Sunny’s off refilling her beer, I push through the row of people swaying back and forth to the music and rush out to the corridor. Finding an empty corner, I press my back against the wall and sink until my ass hits the floor, closing my eyes and resting my forehead against my bent knees.
Problem is, closing my eyes just brings Knox’s intoxicating smile to my mind. Knox, who should be here with me. Knox, who left because I was too much of a coward to put my heart on the line when it mattered the most.
Knox Wellington, who I’m pretty sure is irreplaceable. Unforgettable.
Knox, who has no idea he left something behind.
Something more than me.
“Honey, are you okay?” the sweet Southern drawl draws me from my thoughts.
When I blink my eyes open, a young couple is peering down at me. I release a shaky breath, swiping the tears off my face. “Yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” I let out a small laugh. “Bad breakup, so I’m just a tad bit emotional. Steve Perry will do that to you.”
The woman slides down next to me, the man with her smiling sympathetically.
“I’m Allison. This here’s my husband, Wade.”
He tips his baseball cap. “Nice to meet ya.”
His kind smile and Southern drawl warm my heart. He’s tall, not quite as tall as Knox, and he has a lean build. His pretty wife has killer brown hair that cascades down her back and striking brown eyes that match. It’s her smile, though, that comforts me. It’s genuine and full of concern. For me. A stranger.
“I’m Amelia. Husband, wow. You two look so young.”
She laughs it off and I’m quick to continue.
“I mean no offense, of course.”
“None taken. You’re certainly not the first to say so, and you won’t be the last. You’re right, anyway. Wade ’n I are nineteen. Just got hitched a couple of days ago.” She holds up a finger with a simple gold wedding band. “He’s leavin’ for the Army in two weeks, so we decided to take the plunge and then take a quick road trip from Alabama to see our favorite band. So this song makes me a bit weepy, too. I’ll miss the hell outta the big lug.”
“Baby,” Wade whispers. It’s soft, reverent, and damn if it doesn’t make my splintered heart fracture even more. “The girl’s been through the ringer, and this song doesn’t help. Maybe lighten the melancholy.”
I wipe my tears and give them both a smile. A real, genuine smile I feel in my bones. “No, I’m happy for you. It’ll be good to hear this song play on the radio and wonder how the two of you are doing. Where you are.”