When he looked up to make eye contact, his eyes were shimmering with remorse. “Because I’m ashamed of how far I fell. Now you’ll never look at me the same way again. I’m sorry for coming here and ruining everything.”
“I think we all need time to process this new information,” Luke blew out a breath. “I mean we knew about the circumstances with you and Abbi, but—”
“Do you want me to leave? I can leave if you’re uncomfortable with me being here. I can promise you that I haven’t used since I got out. God,” he groaned, “I hate how that sounds. I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but please don’t hate me. You three mean the world to me and . . . ” Jenner let out a choked breath before he jumped to his feet. He looked back at me with sadness radiating from his eyes. “Are you okay here? Sitting there? I need to get some fresh air.”
Luke stood and placed a hand on Jenner’s shoulder. “If she needs anything, we’ll take care of her. Do what you’ve got to do.”
Jenner gave Luke a manly back-slapping hug before he slipped outside and disappeared.
Leaning forward, Alex looked at me and asked. “Did you know?”
“No,” I shook my head. “He said he didn’t have a problem with alcohol, but I don’t know. I guess I thought he was in denial about it. Never did I think he went to rehab because of something else.”
“I can’t believe he lied to me all this time.” Her lower lip quivered. “I hate to do this with you just getting here, but I think I need a little time to myself to wrap my head around this. Will you be okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I need to process it myself.”
I watched as Alex took the stairs slowly with her head hung. Luke watched her as well before he sat down in one of the chairs opposite me.
“You can go be with her. You don’t need to stay with me.”
He gave me a lopsided smile that didn’t meet his eyes. “You don’t know Alex that well yet, but I have a feeling you’ll be good friends, so I’ll share this with you. My wife struggles with her emotions. I’ve made a lot of progress, but she hates for people to see her cry to this day. She gave me no indication she wanted me to go with her.”
“That must be hard.”
“She just needs a little time to herself. Once she has control of her emotions and grasps how she’s feeling, she’ll come to me. How are you feeling about what you learned?” He looked out the large window that looked out to his backyard. “It seems like things have changed between the two of you.”
I wanted to get up and look for Jenner, but I knew I needed to give him and myself time.
“I know I don’t have any right to feel betrayed since I didn’t even know him then, but I do. I can’t imagine how Alex must feel. How you feel?”
His gaze went to the stairs. “Not that Alex would ever do what Poppy did, but I understand why Jenner went the way he did even though I don’t think he loved Poppy. He felt used and taken advantage of, which is common in our line of work, so to have your wife do it is unthinkable. I can’t imagine how I’d be if Alex ever . . . you know.”
He couldn’t even say it, that’s how much he loved his wife. It was sweet to see and something I desperately wanted and wondered if I’d ever have with Jenner.
“Is your brother going to come in?”
“He was asleep, so we left him out there. They haven’t been getting along all that well, and with how anxious Alex looked, I thought it was for the best. I’m glad I did because he doesn’t know the circumstances of how we got married, and I don’t want him to.”
“Got it. We were going to put you downstairs, so you’d have some privacy, but now that you can’t get around easily, we thought you might want to stay on the ground floor. We can give your brother the room you were going to stay in.” Luke leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I want you to know you’re safe here. Everyone in this neighborhood is vigilant about not letting in people they don’t know. The gates are closed at all times unless you put in a code or are buzzed in. Plus, we have a state-of-the-art security system. No one, and I mean no one, is getting in. Hopefully, when your brother sees how safe you are, he’ll relax, and things won’t be as tense between the two of them.”
“That may be the case, but Paul isn’t stupid. He’s going to realize something is wrong the moment he sees me.”
“Do you want me to go get Jenner? I can show you to your room so you two can talk before your brother comes in, or do you need separate rooms?”
“I’m sure Paul would love it if we had separate rooms even though nothing is going to happen.” Luke raised a brow at my comment. “Doctor's orders.” My gaze went to the window even though I couldn’t see Jenner. “I don’t think he wants to talk to me.”
“How do you know if you don’t try? He’s feeling vulnerable right now. Something he’s not used to.”
Could he make me feel any more guilty?
“Go get him.” I leaned back and relaxed into the soft leather of the couch and waited.
It didn’t take long before Luke and Jenner came into view. They were deep in conversation as they came to the door and stopped. Jenner’s head hung the entire time as they spoke. When he looked up, our gazes collided. I could see the conflict etched across his face.
Luke opened the door, and I grabbed my crutches and stood. I was a little wobbly, but I managed. I was happy we wouldn’t be staying downstairs and have to climb the stairs.
Giving me a thumbs up, Luke guided us to the room we’d be staying in. “I’m going to check on Alex. If you need me, that’s where I’ll be.”
“Thanks, man. I appreciate everything.”
“Not a problem.” Luke clapped him on the back. Turning to me, he winked. “If your brother comes in, I’ll show him to his room downstairs.”
“Thanks.” I gave him a nervous smile as I situated myself on the bed.
Jenner sat in a chair in front of the window with his hands clasped together, staring at the floor. “I’m sorry you had to find out that way.”
Our eyes locked, and I asked. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“I didn’t want anyone to find out. It was a secret I was planning to take to my grave.”
Scooting myself back on the bed, I lay down and stare up at the ceiling. “I’ll try my best to make it seem like everything is normal between us around my brother, but I’m not sure how successful I’ll be. I’m not an actor like you.”
I couldn’t see him, but I could hear him shift in the chair. “Is that it? You’re giving up on me?”
Closing my eyes, I try to forget about the defeat I heard in his voice. “I’m not sure?” I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but it did. “All I know is I can’t get over it in a matter of minutes. I need time to process that you . . . ” I didn’t want to say it. He was a drug addict. I would never have guessed. “Right now, I feel betrayed.”
“Betrayed?” he choked out.
“I can’t help how I feel, just as I know you can’t help your past. Like I said, I need time, and then I hope you’ll be willing to answer some questions.”