I asked before, he ignored me, so I haven't asked since. But his lips are getting so dry now, that I know his body needs liquid.
"Does it have vodka in it?"
"No," I reply, as I walk closer to him, and bring the water to his lips, and wait for him to tilt his head back for me. It takes a few moments before he finally does it, and drinks about half the bottle, and I'm happy that he's finally letting me in now.
"Who changed my clothes?" Atlas watches me as I sit back down on the chair, my legs stretched out with my feet on the bed.
"Aiden and Rhys, before I came in here," I tell him, as I grab my drawing pad again.
"What are you drawing?"
I look up at him, and stare for a moment, thinking where I want this to go, what I want Atlas to do.
"I'm not asking for much Atlas, I know that the past will always haunt you, and I will be here every time they do, I will sit with you until the early hours of the morning, I will listen to you when you need to talk, but I do think you need to talk to someone that isn't me, Rhys or Aiden, ju-"
"Not fucking happening. I've had them long enough, and I'm doing fine-"
"You've tied yourself to the bed, that's not fine," I bite back, and flinch as Atlas tries to get off the bed. "Atlas, you have so much locked up inside you, talk to someone. Someone that doesn't know you, if you have to drive to another state, do it, but-"
"I hate when you use these words," Atlas cuts me off.
"I know, I'm sorry." I sit at the side of the bed next to him, get the cold flannel and pat it on his forehead to cool him down. "Why do you hate these words so much?" I ask him as I move closer to him.
His eyes search mine for something, but he's not going to find anything in there, nothing but worry for him, nothing but love for him.
"I've had this club for a long time, and there is always something every man wants from the girls, for them to talk dirty, say every word they can, scream at them." Atlas stops and looks over at the water bottle, I give him some more water. "You're too pure, too perfect to use words like that, I don't want you to use them because I don't believe you're dirty, I believe that you're an angel, and an angel doesn't use them."
My hand softly on his cheek, as I look into his eyes, I want him to live, that's all I want for him.
"Would you like some soup now?" I ask him, the moment he moves his eyes away from me.
"I don't think my stomach could take it just yet."
"Do you want anything else?" I ask as I get off the bed, and wait for Atlas to reply, but he doesn’t. I turn to face him, and he just looks at me. "The only drink you get is water," I tell him. I can really see it in his eyes that he needs the drink, he needs something to help him control his demons.
"When I was there, I kept thinking that if I died, would there be anyone who’d miss me, but even with that thought in my head, I still fought to live." I pull the chair closer to the bed if he needs to talk to me, for now, I will listen to him, but he is getting the help I want him to get.
"And look what you've done," I tell him, bring the comforter up as it's getting a little cold now.
"Close the window if you're cold."
"I'm fine."
Atlas' head leans back on the headboard and he looks up at the ceiling. Even though the room is silent, there is still so much being said. Atlas wants to talk, I can feel it, he just needs to get it out, even if it's just once, I know it’ll help him so much.
Atlas had a rough night, sweating so much that it soaked his clothes and sheets three times.
A part of me was so happy that he cuffed himself. He tried to get out a few times. Waking up from his time in the war.
Fighting for them to let him free, the screams of him reliving his attack, my heart broke for him. The things he had to go through to fight for his life. Atlas did all this to save his friends, and I bet he would do it again, as he has no regrets.
I place a cold flannel on his forehead, as he's fighting a nightmare again, his body jolting as he screams. Atlas is being attacked, and there is nothing I can do to help him through it.
I sit back on the chair as I wait for this torture on Atlas to pass. As I watch him shifting and jolting in bed, tears begin to escape my eyes. His breathing gets faster as a big jolt hits him, and he pulls his arm, but the cuffs pulls him back.
I've been putting ice on his wrist as they’ve started to get red. He's been pulling a lot on them, even through a nightmare or trying to fight me. For most of the time, he’s been sleeping.
Atlas sits up panting for air, looking around the room, as he struggles with his cuffs.
"Atlas." I call him with a soft tone not wanting to frighten him. "It's me."
"Brooklyn?"
"Yes, you need anything?" I ask as he looks over at me, sweat dripping from him. His eyes bloodshot, he looks like he's hit rock bottom, and trying hard to fight his way up.
"I'm going-"
I grab the bowl as Atlas start throwing up again, this is not the first time, and I don't see it being the last. Atlas has been drinking non-stop for almost a week, smoking fuck knows what before getting locked in the room.
Once Atlas finishes, I grab a water bottle for him, and place it next to him once I've opened it. As I go to walk to the bathroom, Atlas grabs my hand.
He doesn't say anything as his head falls back on the pillow.
Once I've cleaned up, I sit on the side of the bed to clean his mouth as he sleeps again, and I just look at his face. A handsome face, fighting away the demons.
I walk over to the door as someone knocks. I give the guys a smile closing the door behind me. They have both been fantastic checking every few hours, how I am, bringing me food.
"Just wanted to let you know we're going to bed," Aiden tells me. "How you holding up?"
"I think he will be back to his bossy self in the morning." I tell them.
I believe that Atlas is strong to beat this by morning, it's been two days, and it looks like he's winning.
"Give a shout and we’ll be here." Rhys gives me a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you for trusting me." I tell them both. I know it was hard for them both to let me be the one to help Atlas, as they have been doing it for so long now.
"One thing we both knew, he wouldn't hurt you, plus you seem to get your way a lot," Rhys says making me laugh. "But seriously, we know how much Atlas loves you, and if he was going to listen to anyone, it was you."
"We want our brother back." Aiden pulls me in for a hug, and that's the first time I think he has ever done that to me. "I'm making him take you on holiday when this is all over, you need a break." He tells me as he kisses the top of my head.
"See you both in the morning," I tell them, as I get back into the bedroom.
As I get closer to the bed, I hear Atlas talking again.
"I'm sorry Brooklyn...scared you'll leave...I love you...please believe me."
My heart breaks all over again for this broken, cold hearted man who is so selfless, it hurts. I move closer to the bed and lean down to kiss his cheek. With tears in my eyes, I whisper:
"I believe you."