Then he walks out.
* * *
I’m sitting on my patio wrapped in a blanket watching the sunset when there’s a knock at my door. I ignore it and take another drink out of the almost empty wine bottle. When the knocking continues, I begrudgingly stumble to the door. Peeking through the hole, I see my cousin on the other side. I pull it open and walk back to the patio where I grab my bottle and cuddle back up with the blanket.
“What the hell happened today?” Pierce looks at my hands then back at me, then over to the hallway where you can see the bathroom door hanging.
“Nothing.”
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw him that mad. Oh, wait, yes I can. It’s when Johnny talked about you riding him with your cowboy boots on!”
That makes me sit up and pay attention. “What?”
“Yeah,” Pierce’s anger is not lost on me. “That night he beat the shit out of Johnny was about you. He was saying stupid shit. If I’d heard it, and Trav didn’t do it, I would have gladly introduced my fist to Johnny’s face. Travis has a fucking temper, Char. It’s hard to know because of how chill he is, but I see it, I see the fighter in him. He does a good-ass job keeping it in check, and the only two times I’ve seen him lose his shit, and not just throw a few punches, has been over you. So again, what the hell happened?”
Slamming the rest of the bottle, I rehash the story for Pierce. “After he wrapped my hands, he left.”
“Ahh, I see. You hurt him and yourself.” He picks up my hands and examines the bandages.
“No. Well, probably, but not intentionally. I don’t mean to keep hurting him…” My voice trails off, and I wonder what the hell I’m even doing here. All I do is hurt the one person who heals me.
“No. Quit with those damn thoughts. You’re not bad for him, or whatever the hell it is you’re thinking.” He smirks because he knows he’s right. “Talk to him, Char. Obviously, shit has changed. We used to be close as hell, but when your mom got sick, you fell off the planet. We all tried to be there for you. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know. It was my fault. I didn’t want sympathy, and I knew that’s what I’d get from you guys.”
“Hell yes, you would have.” He sounds offended, as if the thought makes him mad. “We’re your family, Charlotte, that’s what we do. You also would have gotten our support, our love, and our help.”
“I know that now, but hindsight is twenty/twenty. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You’re back now.”
A couple minutes of silence fill the room before I break it.
“How is he?”
I know before he speaks, by the frown on his face, it’s not good. “He’s in a bad way.”
“I need to see him, but I don’t even know where he lives anymore.”
“I’d give him the night.” He gives me a kiss on the head and begins to walk through the patio door. “Oh, and Char? He never moved. Told me one night he wanted you to always be able to find him.”
Chapter 13
Travis
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW you! We spent a few weeks together years ago! Now leave me the hell alone!”
Those words tear through not only my heart, but my fucking soul, too. I should have known. I thought things were different. I guess all the shit she said in the past is nothing but lies. Like her. She’s a fucking liar. I’m so surprised at her rant, her skinny little ass manages to push me out the door. As I’m about to leave, I hear glass breaking and her voice with so much pain and frustration weaved in it, it makes my heart break a little more. I want to help her, but I know I can’t unless she wants me to.
She has the bathroom door locked and won’t open it, so I do the only thing I can; I break it down. Blood drips from her hands; glass covers the floor and sink. My throat tightens when I grab her, and she lets out the most earth-shattering cry, sobbing in my arms. I try to soothe her by rubbing her back and rocking her in my arms. I might be mad at her words, but I don’t want to see her hurting.
I carry her to the sink to clean her up, cognizant that she doesn’t want me. I set her tiny frame on the counter, not able to look at her face. Her cuts are all superficial, and I don’t see any glass stuck. When I finish cleaning her wounds and wrapping her hands, I leave, unable to stay where I’m not wanted. The only place I want to be.
I head straight for the gym and run twelve miles on the treadmill. When I can barely feel my legs anymore, I head to the bags. It does nothing but succeed in tiring out my body. My mind is still in overdrive. I can’t figure her out. I thought everything would be fine. I mean, shit, how can you feel so strongly for someone and have those feelings disappear? I thought she still felt the same way. Hell, she probably never did. Fuck!
As I’m walking back to my car, I run into Pierce.
“Dude, what the fuck?”
“Not now, Pierce.”
The gym door crashes as I shove it open. Slamming my car into drive, I peel out and use all the horsepower in my Camaro.
Once home, I crack a beer and slam it before I even get to the shower. I have the occasional beer or two at home or at the pub sometimes, nothing more. Technically I shouldn’t, but I have control of it now.
I stand under the spray and take a huge breath when I realize I’m done with Char. I can’t keep being the one to pursue her. She didn’t tell me she was back for a reason. I’ve been pushing too hard too fast for this delusional happily ever after we’re supposed to get. The one that’s apparently not happening.
Without bothering to dry off, I throw on a pair of track pants and grab a few more beers, hoping they make me numb like the whiskey used to. By the time I’m on my fifth one, I hear the door knob turn and kick myself in the ass for giving Pierce a key.
“What the hell is your problem? I’ve been trying to call.” Not one for small talk, he gets right to the point.
“Obviously I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Dude, what’s up?”
“Nothing.” I finish another beer and crush the can, then open another.“Yeah, okay.” He plops down and opens a beer, then spits it out all over my coffee table. “This tastes like piss.”
“It’s been sitting there for a few hours, dumbass.”
He grabs a couple of cold ones from the fridge and throws one at me as he sits down on the coffee table in front of me.
“Your fucking cousin is a real bitch.”
“Not cool, man,” he says poking me in the chest, always the defender.
“She is.” I grab his hand and twist it off. “But I fucking love her.” Dropping his hand, I pick up my beer and throw it across the room. “Fuck!” I grab another unopened beer and do the same thing. It breaks open and foam squirts everywhere. When I reach for a third, Pierce grabs my arm.
“Enough!”
“Fuck you.” I punch him in the ribs and hold my arms out. “Hit me. Please, for the love of God, fucking hit me!” I want to feel something else right now.
“I’m not hitting you, asshole. You need to get your shit together. I came to help you, but if you’re gonna act like a dick, you can go fuck yourself.” He pushes past me, obviously being the bigger man, and slams the door on his way out.