“Fine!” I lift the latched piece of wood and grab an apron. “I’m probably going to fuck up, you know that, right? It’s been years, Meara, and I was only ever a waitress.”
“It’s okay. You’re family. You can’t fuck up!”
“So, what the hell does that make me, then?” the other bartender, Nik, jokes.
“You’re practically family. You can’t fuck up, either.” Nik is best friends with my oldest cousin, Declan, who’s currently stationed in Alaska. Declan is eleven years older than me. He’s even more protective of his family than Pierce, and I miss the hell out of him.
The night goes on, and before I know it, it’s almost midnight. I’ve only dropped one bottle and messed up seven drinks. I’m pretty damn proud of myself!
An annoying giggle catches my attention, and I look over my shoulder to see Travis walk in with a nasty slut hanging on his arm. Big blond hair and a black miniskirt. She’s actually wearing a leopard print tube top and heels. Like I said, slut. My blood boils the same time my heart drops. She tugs on his arm, and the sway in his step tells me he’s wasted.
I frown but can’t take my eyes off him as they walk toward the bar. He practically falls into a stool, and she hops on his lap. His eyes slowly rise, and when they meet mine, there’s nothing but anger. When the slut grabs his face to kiss him, his eyes don’t leave mine as she slides her tongue across his mouth. As slowly as his eyes rose, mine close with the realization that I’ve lost him.
“That asshole. Britney is such a whore,” Meara grits out.
“No, Meara, it’s fine. I deserve it. I can’t stand here and watch this, though.” I hand her my apron and walk out. As soon as I round the corner outside, my arm is yanked back.
“Wait.”
“No. Let me go, Travis.”
His grip loosens, but he doesn’t let go. My back is to his chest, and I feel the heat from his body inches from mine. How desperately I want to fall back into him.
“That’s not what it looked like,” he says desperately.
“You don’t need to explain anything to me. We’re not anything.” His grip tightens, and I wince. “Let me go, you’re hurting me.”
“Shit. Fuck.” He lets me go but spins me around so I’m facing him. His blue eyes are bloodshot and liquor is evident on his breath.
“You’re drinking,” I accuse.
“We’re not anything, huh?” He ignores my statement.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that you don’t owe me an explanation. We’re not like, together or anything.”
Long seconds pass before he nods, and his eyes become blank. “Right.”
I stand tall, hoping against all hope I can remain strong. I did this. I shut him out. I said things I can’t take back. This is what I deserve. His eyes never leave mine, and I pray he can understand how sorry I am without words.
“Everything okay here?” Pierce’s voice pulls me from my telepathic apology, and I nod.
“Yeah, man. Everything’s fine.” He turns to look at Pierce, then back at me, and my stomach drops when I notice the look of pity he shoots my way. “I’m done here.”
I lean into the brick wall, and it holds my weight as I watch him walk away. Pierce puts a hand on my shoulder. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. When I’ve gained enough composure, I walk to my car. “I’m tired; it’s been a long night.” I’m almost to my car when he calls out to me.
“He loves you, Char.”
“Yeah, I know. But sometimes love really isn’t enough.”
Chapter 14
Travis
BRITNEY LEECHED ON TO me at the last bar I was at and won’t let go. This was a mistake. I’m so fixated on Char, I don’t even notice this nasty chick’s tongue by my mouth until it’s too late.
I need to explain, and Char brushes me off with her excuse of us not being anything. Fine, she’s right; we’re not officially anything. I guess I’ll need to change that. I’ve given her three and a half weeks. A month was my limit, but I don’t know if I can wait. Britney’s waiting for me when I come back inside and grabs my arm.
“Get off.”
“Awww, I’m not done with you.” Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard.
“I am. Don’t fucking touch me again.” I shrug her off and head to the bathroom. As soon as I’m in there, I lean over the counter and take a few deep breaths before splashing water on my face. Char didn’t even fucking try. She acted like I was nobody to her, that it didn’t matter if I was with someone else. I may be a selfish bastard, but I’m not going to make her be with me unless she wants to.
I open the bathroom door, and before it even closes, a small hand whips by and slaps me across the face.
“You’re such an idiot.”
“Christ, Meara. For such a little thing, you sure pack the heat.” I rub the side of my face and look down at the little five-foot-four rocker chick. I deserve more than a slap from her, though. I should have never led Britney on and brought her to The Pub; it was a dick move.
“Remember who my brothers are?” It’s a dumb question. Declan and Pierce taught both her and Charlotte how to defend themselves. “What the hell was that, anyway?” She motions to the bar where Britney already has her tongue down some other guy’s throat. Nasty.
“A mistake. I couldn’t fucking take waiting anymore, so I went to Smashed and did a couple of shots.” That, too, was a mistake. I need to stay away from hard liquor.
She opens her mouth to argue, but I put my hand up. “I know. I fucked up. Nothing happened. But I didn’t think Char would be here. Pierce said he was bouncing tonight, so I figured he’d run interference with Britney and get her away from me, but he wasn’t at the door.”
“He’s helping Matt upstairs.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway.” I shake my head and tell her the rest. “She said I don’t owe her an explanation, that we’re not anything.”
“She came to your house before the bar tonight, Travis.” Her voice softens, and I know what she’s about to say is huge. “Said she finally feels like living. Wants to tell you everything.”
My eyes widen, and I swallow the bile rising in my throat. Without a word, I push past her and run to Charlotte’s place. It’s only about a mile, and I could use the walk to sober up a little more.
I sneak into her building when a young, drunk couple stumbles in before me. I run the four flights to get to her condo and stop with my fist mid-air. Questioning if this is the right thing to do, I don’t notice when she frantically whips her door open. She doesn’t see me either because her body slams into mine, knocking us both down. I wrap my arms around and pull her to my chest, hoping to take the brunt of the fall. When I land on my back, air pushes involuntarily out of my lungs.
Her wide eyes mimic mine, and I sit up with my arms still around her. She looks at me for a second before laughing. I chuckle along with her, and snake my arms around to grab her face. My hands feel rough against her soft skin, and her laughter fades away when I bring my forehead to rest on hers. Her eyes hold my stare as her hands grab my wrists. I’m glad I sobered up quick, because I wouldn’t want to forget any of this.