“You done?” I ask with a little more malice than intended.
Her eyebrows scrunch together. Even though I’m pissed she doubts me, I can’t help but smile at her confused expression.
“Done with what?”
“Your pity party?”
Her lips part and I continue before she can spew some more bullshit out of her mouth. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through what you did. I do not blame you, I do not think you’re disgusting or a whore, and I do not pity you.”
Understanding flashes in her eyes, and some of the sparkle that I fell in love with is shining through. “If you want to talk about it with me, I’m fine with that. If you want to only talk to a therapist, that’s fine, too. Whatever you need to move on. I will not pretend you didn’t go through some fucked-up shit, though. I’m sure you’ll have some things that upset you, especially when we make love.”
I search her face and when her eyes connect with mine, I finish. “You have to tell me what you’re feeling without being scared I’m not gonna want you anymore. Because that’s never fucking happening.” I lean down and kiss the top of her head then turn and stop in the doorway. “I’ll be in the kitchen making breakfast.”
I’m standing with the fridge open and haven’t even gotten the eggs out when small arms wrap around my waist and Char’s head rests between my shoulder blades. She’s already here.
“Thank you.” Her voice is muffled from behind me, but the meaning is clear. Finally, fucking finally, we can move on. I reach behind me and give her ass a squeeze before returning to grab the stuff I need from the fridge. We work together making breakfast — this time it’s pancakes and sausage.
She plays on her phone, and I pretend to check my e-mails. I can’t stop thinking about what she told me. I’m hit with a thought that makes my stomach turn and the pancakes taste like cardboard.
Me joking around saying I’m going to punish her.
Her freezing up and bolting away.
That motherfucker punished her.
I don't want to ruin anything, so I’m not bringing it up, not yet. I squeeze my hands into fists and slowly open and close them under the table until I’ve calmed down. Fuck me. She looks up at me and some of her hair falls over her eyes. I reach over and put it behind her ear.
“I’m glad you have your natural color back.” I rub the soft strands between my fingers.
She gives me a soft smile and says thank you.
“What are your plans for today?” I ask.
“Nothing, really. I’m off until Wednesday then I work every night through Saturday.”
“Damn, I had someone stand by for me this morning, so I have to work until Thursday.” I was supposed to work this morning, but after what happened last night, one of my buddies offered to stay and cover for me until I could get there. I’m always at work, and cover for everyone as much as I can, so the guys can attend their kids’ functions. When I asked for a favor last night, they were not only shocked, but also happy to help me out.
“Shit, I’m sorry. Why didn’t you say anything? I don’t want you to get in trouble.” It’s cute that she’s worried about me getting in trouble, such a girl.
“It’s fine. I need to get there soon, and I have to stay until Thursday instead of Wednesday. Not a big deal.” I link my fingers together and put them behind my head, leaning back.
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey, stop. It’s fine. Don’t apologize. We got everything sorted out, right?” Please let her say yes. I really don’t want anything else holding us back.
“Yeah. We did.” Her cheeks redden, and I know she’s thinking about what happened in the shower last night. Yeah, that was hot. I can’t wait to do it again, but I know even though she’s putting on this act as if she’s okay, she still has reservations. I’ll give her time, no problem. She can have all the time she needs as long as she’s taking it with me.
* * *
“Hey, man.” I bump fists with Pierce standing outside The Pub.
After I got off work this morning, I really wanted to go see Charlotte, but I knew she was working tonight. She told me she was taking a nap this afternoon in one of the seventy plus texts we’ve exchanged over the past few days. I didn’t want her to miss out on sleep because of me, so I went to the gym and did some laundry.
Plus, my mom has been bugging me to meet her for dinner, so we did that tonight. We talked a lot. She didn’t tell me what was said between her and Char, but she did tell me that she’s really proud of how Charlotte has moved on and is taking her life back. I was worried what Mom would say about how we met, but she didn’t bring it up. I’m hoping it never is brought up… ever. She gave me her support, like always.
Now, it’s about nine, and my palms are sweaty thinking about seeing Char again. I’m not nervous, just anxious. It’s been three days since I’ve touched her, and I’m itching to get my hands on her again. When I can see her, especially when I can hold her, I feel better. She makes me a better person.
“Everything good?” Pierce asks.
“Yeah. Real good.”
“About damn time,” he laughs. “She know you’re coming?”
I shrug. “I told her I’d try to stop by.” I may be in love with the girl, and I’d do anything for her, but I don’t want to seem like too much of a bitch. I’m sure she knows I wouldn’t miss seeing her on my only night off this week. I go back tomorrow morning and don’t get off until Monday.
“So, she knows you’re coming. Better get in there.” He nods toward the door, and I clap him on the back when I walk past him.
“Later, Pierce.”
When I get inside, my eyes fly straight to Charlotte. She hasn’t seen me yet, so I lean against the wall and watch as she serves a few guys in suits a pitcher of beer. They talk for a minute, and she laughs after listening to one of them whose hands are flying all over the place. He grabs her wrist, and I push off the wall, but a strong hand on my shoulder stops my movement.
“You gotta let her handle it,” Pierce says next to me.
“Fuck that.” I ball my fists.
His grip tightens.
“Watch. These guys are regulars, they’re not bad.”
And sure enough, she pats his hand, and he lets go. But I see it. I can see from here her eyes are filled with fear. Pierce is right. He didn’t grab her in a rough way. More of a hey, isn’t that funny sort of way. But, still, he touched her.
She goes over to Meara and says something before walking out and down the hallway that leads to the alley.
“That’s all you, man.” Pierce lets go and gives me a little push. No shit, like I need him to tell me to go after her.
Not intentionally, I sneak up on her. She’s got the back door propped open, and her arms are across her chest.
“Hey, sweetheart.”
She jumps and swings around, eyes wide with fear, softening when she recognizes me. “Holy crap, you scared me.”
“What’s going on?”
“Oh, I’m taking a break.” Her words are shaky, and I take the few steps until I reach her. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her close.