No, I want to yell at him. I’m not ready to say goodbye to my mom. I’m not ready to bury her six feet under. I’m not ready to say goodbye to all the things that should have been but were taken away from us way too early.
I’m. Not. Ready.
I don’t think I ever will be.
Yasmin grabs my hand. My head snaps up, my gaze focusing on her. Only her. And it’s only then that I remember to breathe again.
I’m here, she mouths. You’ve got this.
I don’t, but with her next to me, I think I might just get through this in one battered piece.
I’m about to nod when the door opens once again. Spinning around, I stop dead in my tracks when I see the person standing in the doorway.
What the hell is he doing here?
The rage that I’ve been pushing back comes out front and center. My hands clench by my side in tight fists.
“Excuse me,” I say through clenched teeth and storm toward him. I can hear Yasmin calling my name from behind me, but I ignore her. Not even she can stop what’s about to happen.
“Nixon,” he says, opening his arms for a hug.
A fucking hug.
Like nothing has happened. Like he hadn’t walked out on us more than three months ago, letting us deal with our mother dying all on our own. Like he hasn’t been MIA all this time, not once bothering to call or text, or hell, even send a letter by pigeon or some shit.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I hiss at him.
“Is that a way to greet your father?” His hands fall down by his sides, his smile faltering. How can he smile? His wife of over twenty years is fucking dead, lying in a coffin, mere feet away from us.
“Some fucking nerve you have,” I whisper quietly, closing in on him.
Who the hell is this man? I thought I knew my father, but the man I knew, the man I loved and admired all my life wouldn’t have done something like this. He wouldn’t have left.
“Coming here now, after all this time.”
People start whispering, and I’m sure I can even hear a gasp from somewhere behind me.
“Nixon.” A hand wraps around my arm, pulling me a step back. “You don’t want to do this here.”
“Oh, I most certainly do.” I try to move closer to my dad, but Hayden holds me tight. I can hear the sound of more footsteps nearing as they echo against the marble floors.
Dad, if he can even be called that, runs his hands through his hair. For a man who’s always prided himself in looking his best he looks completely disheveled. His hair is a greasy mess, and a few days’ stubble covers his jaw. His suit and shirt are wrinkled, tie loosened around his neck, buttons undone.
Good, the bastard deserves it for all he put us through.
“It’s not what you think. I—”
“Oh, it’s not?” I move even closer, so close our noses are practically touching. I have a couple of inches on him, and I use them to my advantage. “You didn’t leave us just as shit got rough and left us to deal with it on our own? You haven’t been absent for months, with no words whatsoever so that we can know you’re at least alive? You’ve called Mom or Jade to ask if they’re okay or need something?”
Each question is accentuated with a stab of my finger in the middle of his chest, forcing him to fall back until his back hits the door.
“You can’t talk to me like that,” he snaps loudly.
For the first time, I notice that the room is so quiet you can practically hear a pin drop. He must notice it too because he takes a deep breath as if to calm himself. That’s one of us. I’m fuming, and there is finally somebody I can direct my anger at. “You wouldn’t understand. I couldn’t do this again. I couldn’t watch the love of my life…”
This time I laugh. “That’s rich. The love of your life? Where were you when she was dying from cancer these last few months, huh? Where were you, dammit?”
I grab him by his rumpled shirt and lift him off the ground. He protests and tries to wiggle out of my hold, but the only way he’ll do that is if I let go.
“Nixon.” A hand grabs my arm and tugs. I’m so overcome with rage it takes me a moment to realize the person pulling me back is Yasmin. Her voice is soft, but there’s nothing soft about the way her fingers dig into my skin.
“Don’t do this,” she pleads. Her fingers brush against my jaw, drawing my attention to her. My resolve crumples to the ground slowly but surely the longer I look at her face. Her tongue peeks out, wetting her lips. “She wouldn’t want you to do this. Not here, not now.”
I close my eyes, forcing myself to take a breath.
“Let him go. Please.”
What the hell have I been thinking? It’s my mother’s funeral, and I’m letting him destroy it, taint it with his presence and my asshole behavior. Like father, like son.
“Please, think about Helen. Think about Jade,” Yasmin whispers, so low I’m probably the only person who can hear it.
Unclenching my fingers, I let him fall to the ground and pull back. “Get out.”
Yasmin uses this opportunity to slip between the two of us, her arms wrapping around my middle.
“You can’t make me leave. I have every right to…”
My eyes snap open, body tensing. Yasmin tightens her hold on me. “You either get the hell out this very moment, or I’ll make you leave. It’s your choice. I’m sure you’d rather we don’t make a scandal.”
“Sir…” Prescott steps closer, and for the first time, I notice my friends surrounding us. Always having my back. “I think you should leave.”
Dad looks at us, probably also realizing that he’s outnumbered. “Fine.” He points his finger at me. “But this isn’t done.”
No, it’s not. It was done long before now.
Chapter Thirty-Five
NIXON
“They’re gone,” Hayden says as he comes back into the living room.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sigh in relief. “Thank God. If they’d stayed even a second longer, I think I’d have thrown them out through the closed window.”
He pats me on the shoulder. “I’ve got your back.”
And he had. I don’t think we would have managed to survive this day without my friends present. “Thanks, man.” I look around. There are still some things that need to be cleaned, but I want to go up and check on Jade. She’d been holding on strong until that asshole showed his face. Once the ceremony started, she turned into a mess. Not that I was any better. If it weren’t for Jade needing me, and Yasmin standing by my side, I wouldn’t have made it through.
“Go to her, we’ll take care of the house.”
I nod. There are no words to express how grateful I am to them for showing up, although all I did in the last few months was push them away.
“I’ll be back in a bit, I just need to make sure she’s okay.”
I quickly work my way out of the room and up the stairs. The second floor is quiet, but that’s to be expected. Walking down the hallway, I stop in front of Jade’s room. I knock softly, not wanting to startle her if she’s awake. When there is no answer, I slowly turn the knob and open the door.