I wanted to be sick at the thought of hurting him.
He didn’t move, keeping his eyes on mine as he raised an eyebrow.
“Rory, put it away. This isn’t you, so just let me help you. I love you, baby. Let me fix this.”
I knew my hands shook slightly as I stared him down, fighting tears.
“Leave, Caden. Don’t make me fucking shoot you too.”
I kept my shit together and managed to hold back the tears, not letting him see my pain.
He took a step closer, then another, until his chest pressed against the barrel of the gun, his voice low and calm.
“Do it. I fucking dare you.”
The front door creaked, and I swung my gaze over to see Marco walk in slowly, his hands up to show he wasn’t armed.
“Hey, babe. Everything okay in here?”
I growled, starting to crack as emotions tugged at my heart.
“All of you need to leave me the fuck alone! I don’t want you in my fucking life, so go!”
He kept his hands up, but gave me a small nod.
“That’s cool. Just thought I’d check on you since Skeeter told me not to, and Hunter’s acting weird as fuck.”
Caden moved slightly, and I darted my eyes back to him.
“The fuck are you still doing here?!” I demanded with annoyance.
“Waiting for you to fucking shoot me,” he replied dryly as my hands shook more.
I yanked the gun away from him and shoved him towards the door, making him sneer at me.
“I can see it in your eyes. This is fucking killing you. I’m glad Slash isn’t around to see you like this, you fucking coward,” then he stalked off, slamming the door and leaving Marco alone with me.
Once the Challenger tore off, Marco glanced at me with worry, his voice gentle.
“The fuck’s going on, Donovan?”
I downed a healthy amount of whisky before pointing the tip of the bottle at him.
“You know what’s going on, because Hunter would have fucking told you. Don’t come here acting dumb like a good little dog for your master, trying to find shit out. Believe it or not, I don’t want to shoot you, but I will if you don’t rack off, Mark. Razor won’t like you being here, so please leave.”
That made him chuckle, the sound almost making me crumble.
It was light and playful, but most of all it was familiar and kind.
I missed that.
“Since when do you listen to the fucking guys in your life? You don’t bow down to anyone, so what the fuck’s he got hanging over your head, babe?”
Some of the fight left me, and I rubbed my temples as my voice softened.
“Nothing. I like Razor, and I couldn’t have everyone as well as him. I chose, so you all just have to accept that. Please, leave me alone. Tell the others I’m fine and to just stop harassing me.”
It sounded believable, surely.
He looked me over and raised an eyebrow.
Maybe it wasn’t believable.
“You look like hell, so lie to yourself all you like, princess, but don’t fucking lie to me. This shit’s going to become a war, and you’re stuck smack bang in the middle as usual. Look after yourself, Donovan. Things are about to get nasty.”
Then he turned and left, causing me to let out a breath of relief.
I finished the bottle before starting another one, and I ended up walking through the dark in the pouring rain with music blasting in my earphones until I reached the graveyard.
Everything was so fucked.
I sank to my knees, letting the tears fall freely and flattened my hand against Slash’s grave.
I needed him so fucking badly, and I wasn’t sure how much more my heart could take before something gave in.
Dead Flowers by Demon Hunter blasted in my ears, making me cry even harder.
“You stupid idiot. Why the fuck did you go and save me like that? I fucking need you,” I blubbered, not bothering to wipe the tears, considering I was soaking wet from the rain.
I cursed him, thumping my fists into the ground until they bled.
I couldn’t feel them anyway.
My whole body was so numb that I was beyond caring how goddamn pathetic I probably looked as I curled up into a ball and just cried, shivering from the cold.
I thought I was drunk enough to not feel the chill, but I was frozen to the bone.
One of my earphones fell out of my ear, just as arms went around me and Diesel’s gentle voice reached my ears.
“C’mon, babe. Let’s get you up.”
I wasn’t in any state to argue with him, but I couldn’t move because of the cold.
When I didn’t make any effort to do as he asked, he lifted me into his arms and carried me to his pickup, placing me in the passenger seat and safely strapping me in with the seatbelt.
He stayed silent the entire drive as I shivered, the heaters blasting to try and warm me back up.
My teeth were chattering by the time we reached my house and he’d carried me inside, heading straight up to the bathroom and running the bath for me without a word.
I sat on the toilet seat, shaking and staring at the floor until he sighed and ran his eyes over me.
He moved forward and pulled the soaked shirt from my body, leaving my bra on and helping me stand to get my pants off.
“What’s on your mind, babe? Talk to me.”
“I’m sick of people saying that to me,” I mumbled, earning a sad smile in return.
“Then talk to someone and they’ll all back off. What sent you to the graveyard in the middle of the night, in the pouring rain? I didn’t see any cars, so I assume you walked the whole way there?” He asked, his fingers hot on my freezing skin as he held me up.
I nodded, letting him help me into the bath before he turned the taps off and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as he watched me thaw out.
I peeked up at him through my drenched hair, my voice soft.
“I just need him, D. I don’t know how to live without him, and I’d do anything to have him here still. He shouldn’t have saved me. It should have been me in the ground.”
He was quiet for a while before speaking again, a shake in his voice.
“I know you miss him, Donovan. Regardless of who had died that day, it would have wrecked everyone just as much. Whatever’s going on with you right now, you need to sort it out, because it’s going to kill you. You have too many demons to drown, and the whisky isn’t doing the trick. I won’t nag you to tell me what’s going on, but I’m here if you want to talk, okay? You’re one of my best friends, babe. I hate seeing you sink like this.”
I angrily swiped at tears that fell without permission.
“Why would you do that? Why did you even bring me home tonight? I fucking shot you, Diesel. Friends don’t do that shit,” I choked out, hating that he was seeing me at my weakest.
A small smile hit his lips, but he shrugged.
“I’ve been shot by bigger assholes than you, don’t worry. Besides, I know you’d only shoot at me for a good reason. You didn’t shoot me in a dangerous part either, and you’re a good shot, so I know you just wanted to scare me away. You don’t want me dead, Donovan, you’re just in panic mode for some reason. Like I said, come to me or call me if you want to talk. Other than that, I’ll respect your wishes to stay away. Unless I think you’re in danger, then all bets are fucking off.”