Disappointment set in. Maybe I had six messages, but they weren’t from people I could realistically have a relationship with. Clearly, my wish list had been optional to them. Maybe they hadn’t even read it and had just responded to all the letters.
I clicked on the next message. It was from a user named “Tattooed_Daddy.” The torso of a muscular man with a large tattoo wrapped around his shoulder came up. The title of the profile read “Daddy looking for a boy to take care of.”
Many of the Doms hadn’t taken the time to fill out every section of their profiles, but this guy had. He was a forty-year-old Dom with multiple recommendations from dungeons in Chicago, a verified ID, and a relatively short list of kinks compared to his explanation of “interests.” That’s where this guy spent the most time outlining what he wanted.
I’m looking for a long-term relationship with a boy who wants to be taken care of in every aspect of his life, not just the bedroom. I’m not necessarily a controlling Daddy, but I like to make sure my boy is healthy and happy in his everyday life. I would prefer someone who will be open and honest with me and is emotionally available.
Under his limits, he said, “I don’t do hard-core discipline, even though I do like setting boundaries. I also don’t enjoy age play or humiliation.”
He seemed perfect. I couldn’t believe he’d messaged me. Maybe it was because he was within twenty-five miles of me, and there weren’t many gay men in this area of Utah. That had to be it.
But still, he’d messaged me.
Leo was reading over my shoulder. Normally, that would make me feel self-conscious. It took me longer to read than most people, but Leo had tutored me all through high school. I didn’t have to be embarrassed in front of him.
“You have to message him back,” he said.
I handed the phone to him. “Will you write it?”
This time, I wasn’t going to mess things up by messaging him myself.
Leo smiled. “Sure thing. What do you want to say? Have you been naughty or nice?”
I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know. What should I say? What would he want me to say? Do you think he’d be more interested in a naughty or nice kind of boy? Maybe I shouldn’t even answer that question because it’s campy, and I don’t want him to think I’m campy. Unless I am campy. Am I campy? Even if I am, I probably don’t want to show him that—”
“Sanders, stop. You’re overthinking this.”
Maybe he was right, but how did people not overthink things like this?
“It’s just… Well, he sounds perfect. And I don’t want to screw it up. I always screw things up.”
“You don’t always screw things up. And we don’t know if he’s perfect or not. Right now, he’s just a guy on an app.”
A Daddy on an app… with recommendations from several dungeons saying he was wonderful.
“I don’t know. He probably wants someone who’s experienced or more attractive.”
Leo rolled his eyes and typed something into his phone.
“Wait! What are you saying?” It came out as a squeak.
Leo showed me the screen.
Thanks for your message. I’ll be honest, you’re a little intimidating, but you sound wonderful. Are you real?
Sincerely, A boy who is too nervous to know if he’s naughty or nice
“That makes me sound neurotic,” I said.
“I’m sorry. I was just trying to give you ideas, okay? This guy seems like a good fit, and you’re a lot more attractive than you think you are. I think he’d like you.”
I looked away from him. “Fine. Whatever.”
If Leo thought I had a chance with this guy, maybe I should give it a chance.
“You want me to send it?” Leo asked.
I nodded.
Leo tapped his screen, then slid his phone into his pocket.
It was done. Somewhere Tattooed_Daddy would get my neurotic little message. Would he message me back?
I could spend hours fretting about it. Or I could try not to think about it.
“All right. If we did a Christmas cookie theme, what other cookies would we feature?” I asked.
Leo leaned his hip against the counter and gave me a knowing look. “I think it’s good you’re putting yourself out there.”
“I’m trying to distract myself, okay?”
He chuckled. “Okay. Christmas cookie drinks. How about a peppermint chocolate cookie? People loved our peppermint mocha last year. We could also do a peanut butter cookie, just to switch things up. We’ve had luck with peanut-butter-flavored drinks before.”
Even if I didn’t have a Daddy, I had this business, and I had Leo. I needed to remember that.
“I like it. Could you switch out the menu this week to feature the new drinks?” I asked.
“Sure thing.”
His phone beeped. He pulled it out, and I waited with bated breath until he put it back in his pocket. “Email from Amazon.”
Oh my god. Maybe this was a bad idea.
But there was a Daddy out there looking for someone to care for. Why couldn’t that someone be me?
Wasn’t it at least worth a try?
7
Briggs and Sanders
Briggs
I heard the ding of a notification on my phone but didn’t break my rhythm on the elliptical. With only ten minutes left until I would be done with my workout, I didn’t want to get distracted and then give myself an excuse not to finish. I raised the incline and resistance, pushing myself harder for eight minutes and then cooling down for the last two. Stepping off the machine, I grabbed my gym towel and wiped the sweat from my face, neck, and chest. Still breathing heavily, I picked up my water bottle and gulped down what was left.
I grabbed my phone on my way out of my home gym and headed toward my bedroom. Glancing at the screen, I saw I had an email notification from the Cuffd app and unlocked the phone. The little zing of excitement traveling through my body had me shaking my head at how worked up I was getting over a response from Awkward_and_Adorable. Clicking it open, I grinned as I read the message.
Thanks for your message. I’ll be honest, you’re a little intimidating, but you sound wonderful. Are you real?
Sincerely, A boy who is too nervous to know if he’s naughty or nice
I admitted to myself the boy had a special appeal. His shy sweetness really did it for me, and he sounded like he’d revel in someone taking care of him and pampering him. If we ever met and things worked out, I had plans to do just that. Pampering sweet boys was one of my favorite things about being a Daddy.
I set down the phone so I could take a shower and think about how I wanted to respond. After getting dressed, I pulled up the app again, reviewed his profile one more time, and replied via chat rather than email. It felt a little more intimate and immediate, and I figured it was a good step in the right direction.
* * *
Sanders
Over the next few days, I tried to put off asking Leo about Tattooed_Daddy. It was easier on Sunday and Monday because Leo and I didn’t work together. But on Tuesday we met at The Little Bean at five in the morning, like every other Tuesday through Saturday, and went through the opening procedures. It wasn’t until ten minutes before we opened at six that I finally allowed myself to ask. “Uh, there isn’t a message or anything for me, is there? From that Daddy. You know, with the tattoos.”