Ocher feels his cheeks heat hotter, “That’s not what happened.”
She shrugs, “I’m just the messenger.”
After that, there’s nothing to do except wait to see how Azure reacts to him. If he left because he really had something to do or if he just didn’t want to be around him after last night. Sara hands him some pills for his headache and water for the terrible taste in his mouth.
It’s only a few hours later when Azure finally returns. He’s embarrassed to make eye contact, but Azure doesn’t treat him any differently. Simply, ruffling his hair and telling him to get ready to leave. No mention of last night at all. He’s completely indifferent and Ocher’s not sure whether that’s the best or worst case scenario.
Sara smiles widely at him from across the room and he dislikes her a little more.
They head towards the docks after saying a quick goodbye and Ocher notices that while Azure hasn’t verbally said anything about last night, he does make it a point to keep a good two feet of space between them. Ocher doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t like people in his space either, especially if it’s someone that he’s rejected already.
The thought brings the headache he’s had all morning from a consistent ache back to a full blown throb in his skull. Hopefully, there’s a bed on the boat. He’s still not used to all the emotions he’s experienced since traveling with Azure. They’re new and complicated.
Ocher looks up when Azure pauses and sees that they’re in front of the orphanage where they left Irisa. Azure studies the building curiously. “Do you think she likes it there?”
“I don’t know,” he answers, catching sight of Irisa in a second story window and gesturing her down. “I’m sure she’d prefer to be with her family, but they’re dead. Here she comes, you can ask her yourself.”
Irisa walks slowly out the front door, her blue stuffed tiger still clutched under her arm. It looks like it’s taken a beating. She doesn’t look well either, there’s a hollowness in her eyes and he can see the faint traces of mottled purple bruising on her arms.
“Doesn’t look like this place was very nice to you,” Azure comments to her and she says nothing, staring back at him with tired deep brown eyes. He lets out a breath, “We’re leaving, coming?”
Irisa nods once and takes his hand. Ocher blinks down at her in surprise and she squeezes tighter to keep him from letting go. He shouldn’t be surprised, Azure isn’t the hand holding type even if he is the one that keeps choosing to help her.
“We’re bringing her?” Ocher confirms.
Azure nods, “Why not? It’s better than this orphanage, clearly she hates it there.”
“Did you get a ticket for her too?”
“We’ll make it work.”
Ocher looks down at her again, “Won’t they notice she’s gone?”
“Maybe, but there are too many kids, they won’t care. One kid gone is one less mouth to feed.” Azure reaches down and lifts Irisa in one quick movement, settling her around his shoulders. “They take care of you if you’re inside, once you leave, you’re on your own.”
Ocher considers the subtle sadness in Azure’s eyes and remembers that he too lost his family. He probably hated the orphanage just as much and got out as soon as he could.
“Sometimes you’re not as mean as you seem.”
“Maybe I’m not mean at all and I just don’t like you,” Azure responds.
“That’s possible.” But he doesn’t think that’s the case. Azure might claim not to like him, yet he doesn’t think the other boy dislikes him either. Azure puts up with a lot from him and as he’d previously said, he’s getting too spoiled.
Azure wouldn’t tolerate him as much as he does, even with the complaints, if he really hated him. He doesn’t think Azure would ever admit to liking him, although there are signs, in his actions. And Azure is close to his goal now, so he has a little more time to cement his place at Azure’s side if that’s what he still wants in the end.
Just a little bit at a time.
Chapter 11: Azure
Azure rests his head against the wall of the tiny room they’ve been given and wonders how the hell he went from being alone to this type of situation. On one side, he’s got Irisa curled against him and on the other side, Ocher’s halfway in his lap. Both of them pale from seasickness and seeking comfort from him. He rubs a soothing hand on each of their heads, commiserating with them. Spending his childhood in a seaside town had him practically growing up on a boat, the thought of the other two being unused to the swaying motion of the ship never crossed his mind.
Now, all three of them are suffering for it.
Well, he glances down to where Ocher is resting on his thigh, two of them are suffering. One of them is taking advantage. As usual.
The room they were assigned is out of the way on the lower decks. It has two beds and no windows, but considering they’re traveling illegally and two of them are wanted criminals, it works.
Azure just wonders how much longer he’ll have to play nurse to these two. He’s not interested in spending the entire trip with Ocher shamelessly clinging to him. Ocher’s already brazen enough when he wants to be and it’s only increased recently. After all, he didn’t invite Ocher to lay here, he came of his own volition and once Irisa joined them, he couldn’t throw them both off.
He sighs and reaches down to brush back a sweaty lock of hair from Ocher’s forehead. He may not want Ocher close like this, but there’s some fondness there, mostly when he obeys without questioning him. Azure also can’t deny that he’s starting to see his own influence on the other boy. He’s less eager to help people now and more inclined to pursue what he wants.
With the freedom to act on his emotions, Ocher can be quite a headache at times. Although soon enough, he’ll get a grasp on them, he doesn’t have any other choice.
After a few days, the two of them acclimate to the movement of the ship and he’s not chained to the room with them anymore. The first thing Azure does is rush straight to the top deck to take a deep breath of the salty sea air.
He hated having to grow up in the fishing town after being raised in his own village, but there’s nothing quite like breathing in fresh air and looking at the open sea. It’s nostalgic and reminds him of his adolescence when he’d look towards the open ocean and think of all the possibilities. It’s what got him through every day, knowing that one day, he’d be able to do whatever he desired.
Unsurprisingly, less than ten minutes later, Irisa joins him on the deck, pulling Ocher along by the hand. The minute they reach the railing, she lets go and grabs onto the bars, pushing her face through to stare at the ocean in awe.
Azure takes in Ocher, who’s regained some of his color now, as he stares out at the ocean, albeit with much less awe. Part of him really wonders what the other boy sees in him, he’s rarely nice to him and has threatened him with abandonment since day one. It makes no sense to him. Perhaps Ocher really was just that lonely before so he’s attached to the first person he could.
He’s turned incredibly clingy too, so it’s not a stretch to assume he was touch starved as well. Imagine if the first person he’d met had been someone a lot crueler than himself, they would have ruined him.