“Who knows? Several countries away, I believe. But, imagine if those factions split as well. There could be pockets of us all over. It would be nice if we were all interconnected, but we’re isolated here and Haithen cuts its citizens off from the rest of the world. I’d be interested to see how different the others are from us.”
“I would too,” Azure murmurs in agreement.
She smiles at him, “You made it here, so maybe you’ll manage to find others one day. Come back and tell us how it is.”
He assures her that he will and she hands Ocher an orange blossom before continuing on. Ocher tucks the flower into his bag and turns to him, “So, if there really are that many of you, why haven’t we heard anything?”
“It’s been decades since the first split, these things didn’t happen recently. Occasionally, there were people unsatisfied with our way of life and they were encouraged to come here, but we don’t actually know what happened to the ones who left. Then the ones who split from Meio could be dead same as Ustrina. And if they did live, they could be hidden away as well. It’s all speculation. All we know is that I’m the only one from Ustrina and Meio is safe.”
“If there are others out there like you, they could help you rescue your family!”
Azure frowns, “We’re secretive for a reason. None of us would risk our lives and identities for a rescue not guaranteed to succeed. Besides if there were any left in Haithen, I would have run into them by now.”
“Don’t you want to at least find out?”
“No.” Even if he found them, he’s not attempting a rescue. It’s an assassination. Bringing in unknowns would only jeopardize everything. If he survives, maybe he’ll search for them. Until then, they don’t matter. He already has the one ally he can control right now. “Be thankful, if I found others like me to help, I wouldn’t need you anymore.”
Ocher’s eyes widen and he can tell the thought never occurred to him. Azure laughs at his worried expression, knowing the subject won’t be brought up again anytime soon. “Let’s go.”
He leads them first to a food stall and the moment he reaches into his bag for money, Irisa appears beside him, looking up at him pleadingly. Azure hands her money and she disappears off again. He doubts they’ll see her again for a while.
The first thing they try is Meio’s specialty, a small cake baked with orange blossoms that he shares with Ocher. It’s light, airy, and Ocher seems to like it. From there, they proceed through the various stalls, trying food that Ocher willingly lets himself be fed.
Internally, Azure shakes his head, Ocher really is too easy to please. So lonely, that a few nice actions are all it takes to win his favor. It’s dangerous to be so impressionable, so easy to take advantage of. If they really do split after this, what would happen to him? For all the time they’ve been together, it still doesn’t seem like Ocher has completely lost his naivety.
Would he latch on to the next person to come his way or would he wander around alone? Sometimes, with Ocher, it’s hard to tell if he remains closed off from everyone else because he’s content with where he is or if he just has no interest in getting to know other people.
If it was up to him and they made it through in one piece with Ocher still wielding that unearned loyalty, he’d keep him so close that Ocher would never think of leaving. It wouldn’t be hard, he still lacks emotional self preservation.
Azure turns and kisses him, “Protect your heart better.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
He shrugs. “Exactly what I said,” he answers, turning his head away when Ocher tries to kiss him back, and ignoring his frown. “The show is starting.”
They take seats near the front of the stage and as the play begins, Azure remembers it. It’s the same one that he used to watch as a child. The play tells the supposed origin of their people, how thanks to their ancestor’s innate goodness and care for all living things, they were gifted with the power to protect. Followed by how they must continue to treasure all life.
It’s the same crap as before that he no longer believes. He doesn’t know where their abilities came from, but the moral that good things come to good people is a fantasy. The world doesn’t work like that. Meio can only afford to keep teaching these things because they’re so isolated. Let them interact with the outside world just once and they would be crushed.
This is a fairy tale to encourage children to behave, he knows that very well now. There’s no retribution for the people who killed his family and burned his town to the ground unless he delivers it himself. Teaching kids that if you stay pure of heart, your life will be well only hurts them when faced with any kind of strife. Irisa can attest to that. After all, she’s so young that she hasn’t even had a chance to veer off the good path yet.
Azure drags Ocher away before the play ends. He’d rather find something else to eat and spoil Ocher more to keep his affection than sit around listening to that idealistic fantasy any longer.
He lets Ocher take over and after a while, they end up away from the noise of the festival, inside one of several copses of trees that dot the island where he feeds Ocher the last of the chocolate and without a moment’s hesitation, Ocher is kissing him. It’s needy and full of longing. Ocher’s arms slide around his shoulders as he wedges himself tighter into Azure’s space. His warning was completely ignored.
After this long together, he’s come to understand Ocher well enough to know what he needs and more importantly what he wants because they’re very different and Ocher only focuses on one.
There’s too much want in him. Ocher is the type of person who both needs and wants in equal measure and if he can’t have what he wants, then he rejects everything. He wants someone who’s okay with using him, yet he needs a stable home and someone to teach him what a normal relationship is.
Ocher wants to cling to him and stay by his side, even though it’s not in his best interests and he probably knows it. Unfortunately for Ocher, he wants more than he cares about what’s right for him. It won’t go well for him and that will be his own fault. It’s not Azure’s job to push him towards the better path. He’s made his own selfish intentions clear from the beginning.
Azure leans in, kissing him back, and letting Ocher’s fingers tangle in his hair. Letting him have this moment he desires so badly. After this, Ocher won’t leave him for anything, not for his actions, not for his lies, and not for any other person who might come along. And when Azure pushes him down, there’s no resistance.
Chapter 12: Ocher
Once they’ve left the festival behind, it’s just the two of them pressed together, skin to skin, a type of contact Ocher never knew he wanted so much. But now that Azure is heavy against him, the only thing he can think of is having him even closer.
Intimacy like this isn’t something he thought he would experience anytime soon. Although his guard has been lowered so much around Azure that finding himself pinned under him shouldn’t come as a surprise. He hasn't been subtle with his interest.
“For someone who claims he’s just being used, you sure seem to be okay with this,” Azure whispers into his ear.