“I wonder if your attraction to me is only because I’m the first person who has shown you affection,” Azure wonders aloud.
“Does it matter?” Ocher questions back, sliding a little closer down the railing, ignoring Azure’s side eye.
“Of course it matters. What’s wrong with you? You can’t base those decisions on a single person being nice to you. There are infinite more people out there. Don’t settle.”
“I’m not settling. The way I see it, we were supposed to meet or else we wouldn’t have been in the same place at the same time, so it’s fine not to overthink things. You think too much anyway. It all worked out.”
“Are you telling me you believe in fate?”
“I didn’t say that,” Ocher defends, mouth slipping into an annoyed frown.
“Unbelievable, you have got to be the most sentimental soldier I’ve ever met.”
“I’m the only soldier you’ve ever met.”
“That's why you can be the most sentimental. So, if I had been mean to you...”
“You were.”
“Yet, here we are.”
“You didn’t stay that way,” Ocher clarifies. “I got under your skin and we’re together too much for you not to soften up. Plus, you kind of like me.”
Azure doesn’t respond or look in his direction, instead watching Irisa who’s still holding onto the bars near their legs. Ocher may be right, but he’s not going to admit it. He’s not even sure how Ocher managed to reach that conclusion. Does he talk in his sleep? Did his face reveal something at one point?
“Azure, I’ve been practically glued to your side since we met. You really think I can’t read you at all by now?” Ocher answers the unspoken question. “I might not be as good as Sara, but I can catch a few things.”
“Must be why you’re always pushing your limits.”
“I know when to stop.” Ocher smirks and Azure’s surprised by how natural it looks on him. A glimpse of the Ocher that could be, if he ever settled into himself. Is he more confident now because it’s just the two of them or because his feelings are already out in the open and he has nothing to lose? “Stop overthinking.”
If that’s what he wants.
Azure smiles before drawing Ocher into a gentle kiss, fingers holding onto the back of his neck to keep him in place. Ocher tenses as if he might push him away, but apparently the other male isn’t as petty as he is because he would have pushed him away, just for payback whether he actually wanted the kiss or not.
Considering the way Ocher has leaned in and his fingers have tightened around Azure’s arms, it doesn’t seem like that’s an issue for him though. He very clearly wants this. Azure pulls him in tighter, deepening the kiss and exploring the soft warmth of Ocher’s mouth. He can feel the hesitation and inexperience in Ocher’s action, but the other boy doesn’t let go, humming into the kiss and leaning in closer.
After a few minutes, Ocher pulls away and looks at him accusingly, “You don’t even like guys, Azure.”
“Who said that?”
“You!”
Azure hums lightly, “Well...I don’t like guys. They’re difficult.” He looks at Ocher. “You’re rough and you argue. You ask a lot of questions and you hit. You throw things. Girls mostly just listen if you smile at them nice enough and they’re soft and sweet.”
Ocher stares back at him blankly, “I’m not going to stop questioning you just because you smile at me.”
“No one asked you to.”
Ocher pauses, “Isn’t that what you want?”
“Is that what I want, Ocher?” Azure pushes him back against the railing, trapping him there between his arms. “I like them both in different ways.” Ocher still regards him warily, but the flicker of hope in his eyes can’t be disguised. “Don’t think so much,” he teases.
Ocher narrows his eyes and reaches for him, connecting their mouths together for a second time. Azure laughs lightly and feeds his hope.
◆◆◆
It’s about a week's journey by boat to their destination and it’s not a passenger ship, so they’re limited for entertainment. A majority of their time is spent on deck, helping the crew if they’re really bored or just enjoying the view.
Irisa grows more attached by the day and he wonders how she’ll take it when they eventually have to split again. Ocher is bolder at every turn, some type of physical contact happening whenever he’s nearby. It’s not all Ocher’s fault though. After they kissed, he hasn’t done much to dissuade his actions. He’s not cruel enough right now to bounce his affections back and forth. It wouldn’t suit his purpose either.
After so much idle time on the ship, it’s a relief when the three of them are finally let off on a small island near sharp jutting rocks that would be too dangerous for a ship to sail into. There’s nothing on the uninhabited island in the middle of the sea except them and the small boat they were left with.
He’s already arranged for the ship to pick them back up on it’s return journey a week from now. That should give him enough time to do what he needs.
“Azure…” He looks over to see Ocher watching the way the rough waves jostle the little boat docked to their island. “I’m not getting in that. The sea would kill us against the rocks before we got anywhere near the place.”
“Okay, then stay here. I’ll be back.”
Ocher’s eyes fill with worry, “If the ship can’t take the rocks, why would this little boat be able to. You should stay here with us.”
“It’s called water manipulation, Ocher, don’t you pay attention?”
“Yeah, but I didn’t become a deserter to die so soon. You’re really going to leave us both?”
Irisa suddenly stands, breaking out of Ocher’s arms, “I want to go with Azure.”
“What?” Ocher looks at her in betrayal.
“Azure takes care of us both. He wouldn’t let anything happen.”
“Thank you for believing in me, Irisa.” He pats her head smugly, “Some people have no faith.”
“Also,” she continues, ignoring Azure and looking at Ocher. “You kissed him on the ship, a lot. So, you like him and should want to go with him too.”
Ocher flushes red and Azure laughs, “She has a point, you know.”
“No, she doesn’t! I can kiss you and still value my own life!”
“I’m not sure you can.” Azure helps Irisa into the boat, “So, we’ll see you later then?”
Ocher shoots him a dirty look, pouting slightly, and he already knows what decision the other boy’s going to make. “If we die, I’ll haunt you forever in hell.”
Azure laughs, “At least you know where we’re both going.”
Ocher steps carefully into the boat to avoid tilting and takes a seat near the back. “Let’s get this over with.”
“As you wish.”
Azure takes a seat at the front of the boat with an oar in each hand and begins rowing them straight towards the rocks. Their little boat pitches from side to side in the rough waves and he looks back to see Ocher with a white fingered death grip on the side of the boat and Irisa with a death grip on him. Azure grins at them before turning back around to concentrate on smoothing out the worst of the waves.