“This can happen and it’s goin’ to Gwen. I promise I’ll never hurt you. Those other girls are in the past for me. I haven’t touched one since you walked in on me in the bathroom. I never meant for you to see that and I’m truly sorry about it. No one compares to you, Sparrow. Please, come home with me. Let me prove it to you,” I plead with her.
Knowing words aren’t going to be enough for my girl right now, I shrug my cut off before placing it gently on the end of her bed. From there, I rip my shirt over my head. Gwen gasps as she takes in the bandage covering my side from just under my armpit to just above where my jeans rest on my hips.
Peeling the bandage from my body, I watch as she takes in the red skin surrounding my new ink. She reaches out to touch me before abruptly stopping just shy of my tender skin. Her eyes are filling with tears as she takes in the sparrow breaking free of the cage it’s been held captive in. There’s an old skeleton key resting in the sparrow’s mouth as shards of the cage fill my skin surrounding the sparrow and falling to the bottom of my side. There isn’t an ounce of color in the entire tattoo except for the eye on the sparrow. It’s been shaded in the same color of Gwen’s.
“You did this for me?” she questions, looking up at me.
Instead of responding with words, I simply nod my head. Gwen moves her eyes back down to the tattoo and takes in all the small details of it. The cage honestly looks like the house her dad held her captive in. On top of pieces of the house, shards of glass also fall down my skin. The key is in the shape of a heart at the end because Gwen owns my heart. She’s the only one who holds the key to unlock the feelings I’ve always kept inside me.
Gwen thinks about things for a minute. Never once do our eyes lose our connection as she tries to figure out if I’m lying or not. I can see it in her face and from the way she’s searching my face. Finally, she nods her head. I help her pack everything up, not that it’s all that much and we head out.
We stop in the living room where Fox and Kim are sitting on the couch, snuggled up together. Kim looks back at us and she knows I’m taking her baby sister home with me.
“You heading out?” Kim asks, looking at me with narrowed eyes.
“Yeah. I’m going back to Killer’s. We’ve talked and I’m not sure what’s gonna happen yet, but I think it’s best if I go back there for now. I love you and I’ll be here when you need me. It’s not like I’ll be that far from you,” Gwen tells her, leaning over the back of the couch to hug and kiss her sister.
“Killer, I’ve warned you once. I’m not gonna warn you again. You hurt my sister and I’ll cut your balls off,” Kim growls out.
Fox and I each flinch because we know she means every single word. Nodding my head at her, I wrap my arms around Gwen’s shoulders and lead her from the room. The entire time I don’t take my eyes off Kim. Right now, I don’t want to turn my back on her. I’m not sure if I ever will again.
Chapter Nine
Gwen
I’VE BEEN BACK at Killer’s for a few days now. He’s been home with me and it’s made things easier. A little bit at any rate. We’ve been talking, spending time together, and getting to know one another. I’ve learned his name is Tristan and it suits him. When we’re alone together, he doesn’t mind me calling him that. So, I’ve taken to doing so. We’ve eaten meals together, cooked, and cleaned up afterward. Honestly, it’s been kind of nice to just be with one another without the outside interference of the members of the club.
When we haven’t been spending time together, I’ve been scouring the help wanted ads in search of another job. There isn’t anything out there for me to do. Everyone wants experience of some sort and I don’t have it. My frustration levels are through the roof as I try in vain to find something for me to do in order to earn money. Killer has been helping me, well as much help as he can be. Today, he’s going to head into the clubhouse for an hour or two so he can talk to Slim about me finding work with the club. I’m not sure what I’d be doing, but it’s got to be better than sitting on my ass all day. I can’t stand that.
The house is almost spotless since I have so much time on my hands. It’s not like the house is dirty anyway. Killer is a neat freak and keeps things in their places. He’s always cleaning up after himself. And me if I’m in the middle of doing schoolwork or something. I feel bad when he does it, but he tells me to quiet and let him take care of me.
That’s another thing he does. When I’m doing schoolwork, he makes sure I eat and have snacks and drinks by me. If I have to get up for something, Killer tries his best to make sure I don’t have to so I can concentrate on the work I’m trying to get done. At this point, I think if he could go to the bathroom with me, he’d do it. Just to prove he’s going to be by my side and support me no matter what.
While I appreciate everything Killer’s been doing over the last few days, sometimes I feel as if he’s smothering me. There has to be some give and take if we’re ever going to work. He can go to the clubhouse and hangout without me losing myself or becoming too clingy for him. I’m not going to automatically assume he wants to be with the house bunnies because he’s there. He can go have a few drinks with the guys and play pool or whatever it is they do.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about what I want to do moving forward. Part of what I’ve been thinking is learning some self-defense. One of the reasons I never fought back against my father and Neil or anyone in his house is because I knew I’d never land any moves on them. If I knew how to get out of situations or do some moves, I’d feel confident about someone bothering me. Though, I’d always hope I would never have to use anything I learn. That’s something I’ll have to talk to Killer about. He’ll know more about where I can go to learn it than I will. I’m not even sure if there’s a gym in Benton Falls.
While Killer’s gone to the clubhouse for a while this morning, I make sure I’m up to date with all of my schoolwork. Once I know everything is taken care of for school, I go to the dating website. I’m going to deactivate it. If Killer and I are doing something leading to a relationship, there’s no way I’m going to mess it up by leaving my account up.
Going into my account, I hear the front door open. Killer shouldn’t be back this early.
“Gwen, where are you?” Sam calls out.
“In the living room,” I respond, not sure why she can’t see me already since I see her.
“What are you doing? Schoolwork?” she questions me, coming up next to me at the small desk I sometimes use.
“Deleting my profile on here,” I tell her, looking up at my friend.
“Didn’t take long for Killer to make his move I see.”
“I have no clue what’s going on honestly,” I reply, thoroughly confused about the entire situation.
“Oh my God!” Sam suddenly says, looking at the computer screen.
“What?”
“Look at that username,” Sam says, pointing at a guy on the screen.
His name on the dating website is GitMeDun. Sam is laughing her ass off while I’m sitting here trying to figure out what the hell is so funny about that name. I’d ask her, but she’s having such a hard time even trying to catch her breath right now I’m not so sure that’s a good idea. So, I continue scrolling down to see if there are any other funny ones. FatBikerBalls, YesYesOhYes, and MuffinThumper are among the few I’m seeing. Sam is still dying next to me as she reads the screen over my shoulder. Yeah, this is not going to go over well if Killer sees me on this site.