Lila let out a humorless laugh. A dead, empty laugh. She laughed until her laughter turned into a loud sob.
“A lie by omission is still a lie, you fucking bastard.” Her gaze shone with unshed tears, but she didn’t let them spill.
My little dragon. She was breaking on the inside, but she refused to cry. “All this time…you knew,” Lila said. “He is your friend. Your childhood friend,” she gritted through her teeth. “Your friend is a killer. Your friend was drunk that night. Your friend got away with murder. Your friend scarred me for the rest of my miserable, fucking life. Your friend should be in jail. Your friend KILLED my parents, and he got away with it! YOUR friend played god, tried to pay for my silence. He held my whole future in the palm of his dirty, filthy, rich hands, and he destroyed me. YOUR friend.”
My stomach churned, and I felt sick. Bitter nausea built in my throat, and I worried I was going to throw up.
Lila slammed her fist into my chest. It didn’t hurt. I almost wished it did. “Say something, Maddox!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Oh, that’s rich.” She laughed, almost manically. “That’s fucking rich. Go ahead, lie to my face, and then say you’re sorry? Sorry for what, Maddox? Are you sorry for keeping this secret? Or are you sorry you got caught? Are you sorry because your friend murdered my parents that night? Or are you sorry that you destroyed me and trampled all over my heart.”
She stabbed a finger into my chest, punctuating every word with a sharp stab. Again and again. Right over my beating heart. “What exactly are you sorry for, Maddox Coulter? For being a shitty boyfriend or for hiding the secrets of your dear childhood friend, Christian?”
If only you knew…
But the truth wasn’t always easy or simple. The truth held hidden layers, like an onion. The more you peeled it, the harder it made you cry. The deeper you peeled it, the closer you got to its core. The truth. The reality of it.
Acidic. Sour. Bitter. Pungent.
But the layers… the fucking layers were there to make our life harder.
And so, my truth was just like that.
My hand came up again, before I could stop myself. My fingertips skimmed over her jaw. Lila flinched but didn’t pull away. She allowed me this one touch. “I broke your trust, and I hurt you. I’m sorry for that,” I rasped gravelly.
“Aren’t you sorry for breaking your promises?” she whispered.
My heart stuttered. “I didn’t…”
She smiled without humor, she smiled with cruelty. A smile of disgust.
I shook my head. “I promised to protect you. And I thought I was doing that.”
She finally pulled away, and my hand fell to my side. Instantly, I missed the feel of her skin under my fingers. “Lila… just, listen to me. Please.”
She stepped back, her dark eyes growing darker. Furious. Pained. “Keep your sorry excuses to yourself. I don’t want to hear it. I’ve heard and seen enough.”
“No,” I growled. Fear tightened around my lungs. If I let her walk away now, I was going to lose her. Forever. “You need to hear the rest. You don’t know anything!”
I reached for her, desperate for a chance to explain. I didn’t see it coming, although I should have expected it. The moment I clasped her wrist, tugging her back to me, Lila turned around with a vengeful cry.
She slapped me, right in the face.
I stumbled back, and she twisted out of my hold. There was so much… anger… so much hate in her dark eyes. “Don’t touch me,” Lila warned, her voice cracking over the words. She leaned closer, jerking her head back, so she could stare right into my eyes.
Her next words killed me.
Killed any hope I had for us.
“When you touch me, my skin crawls,” she practically spat, with so much venom in her sweet voice. “When you touch me, my scars burn. When you touch me, I want to throw up.”
“No. Stop,” I croaked. I pleaded… begged. “Lila, no.”
Her eyes were dull again. My Lila was… gone. “Don’t you dare touch me, Maddox.”
All the air had been sucked out of my lungs, and I was… suffocated.
“Get out.” She pointed at the door. “Get. Out. You’re no longer welcome here.” My chest squeezed, like a heavy metal chain was being wrapped around my already tortured, bleeding heart.
If it hurt for me…
I wondered how much it hurt for her…
“I’m going to leave, and I’m going to wait for you. Tomorrow, you have to listen to me. Please, Lila. You have to let me explain why.”
“I don’t want to see your face,” Lila sneered. “Tonight or tomorrow.” She was never so vicious, but in this moment, her words were laced with enough acid to burn even the thickest layer. Me? I was just a mere mortal. My heart disintegrated.
“You should leave.” Riley walked up behind me. I had forgotten she was even there, listening to us. “Do as she says, Maddox,” she lamented.
Lila’s face hardened, and she stalked away, into the room that used to belong to her. Her place was with me. Not anymore…
“What’s going on?” I let my head fall back against my shoulders, staring at the ceiling as another voice joined us.
I heard his steps, as Colton approached me. “I was at the gala. I saw Lila and you leave…”
Of course, he was. We ran in the same circles. Of course, he saw. Everyone watched it unfold, but no one knew why.
“What’s going on?” he asked again, looking between Riley and I, waiting for one of us to answer.
“Ask Maddox.” Riley sighed. “Lila is hurt and angry right now. You two better leave.”
My chest hurt, and I rubbed the ache with my fist.
“Maddox?”
“I need to get out of here,” I murmured, looking at her closed door. My presence was unwelcomed. And I knew I’d cause my Lila more pain, if I stayed.
“Okay,” Colton said. “Where?”
I dragged my legs behind me and walked away. With each step that took me farther away from Lila, coldness seeped through my bones, and my body grew numb.
“The gym.” It was that or I’d drink myself into oblivion. Maybe I’d do both. Take all my fuckedupness out on a punching bag and then drink until I forgot tonight ever happened.
Colton didn’t ask any questions. He drove us to the gym, and everything was just a goddamn blurred mess to me. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t even breathe.
The punching bag became my salvation.
The pain coursing through my body, as I pushed myself over, became my only solace. It felt good. I needed it. Needed the pain, so I could feel something.
Lila’s face flashed through my mind, the image searing into my brain. The tormented look on her face. I could almost taste the saltiness of her tears on my tongue.
She hated me.
I hated myself. What a fucking pair, we were.
Two hours later, all my muscles were dead and numb. I could barely feel my arms or my legs. I sank to the ground, my body too weak to keep me upright any longer.
“Better now?” Colton asked, joining me on the ground. He laid on his back beside me with a groan.
“No,” I said.
He sighed. “Look, I don’t wanna talk about your feelings. We can leave that pussy talk for some shrink, but you don’t look good, man.”