How does a wound heal when it can’t be bandaged or stitched?
The answer was… it can’t.
I flinched, as the silence suddenly filled with Riley’s ringtone. She padded away to it and then grimaced. “It’s Maddox.”
I turned and walked away. Back into my room. My sanctuary.
Curling into my bed and sinking into my soft mattress, I tucked my blankets around me. A safe cocoon. Not safer than Maddox’s arm… but at least, my bed wasn’t the reason for my suffering.
My eyes closed, and I had to remind myself to breathe.
The sound of crushing glass filled my ears. The echo so loud, it was deafening. My world tilted, swayed and turned over. My head slammed into something, and I remembered feeling like it would explode.
The distinct sound of cracking bones came next.
Then my screams. My parents’.
Pain came next.
Darkness soon followed.
The buzzing sound in my ears didn’t stop, and my lips parted to speak, but I couldn’t. My voice was gone. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t.
The taste of coppery blood pooled in my mouth; it tasted bitter, and I could feel it soaking my tongue and the inside of my mouth. Blood…
I remembered…
The blood. So much blood. I remembered the feeling of death.
I remembered passing out and waking up again, in the same position, with the same agony coursing through my body.
I sucked in cramped air and tried to scream, tried to breathe, but my lungs refused to work.
“Lila? Lila!” Someone was calling out my name and shaking me awake.
My eyes popped open, and I let out a gasp, feeling the oxygen burn my lungs, as I took in a deep breath. The nightmares faded away, but the echoes of my screams still lingered.
Riley came into my line of vision, and she looked worried, her brow creased with tension, and her lips were pressed into a thin line.
“What is it?” I sat up, keeping my blankets around my shoulders.
“It’s Maddox.”
I frowned and hissed, grinding my molars. My jaw tightened. “I don’t care.”
Riley shook her head. “The stairs are blocked. Out of service. Maintenance is working on them right now.”
My heart dropped. No, please. Oh God, no.
“Maddox needs to take the elevator,” Riley said softly.
I remembered the time when Maddox and I were locked in the closet, back when we went to Berkshire Academy.
That was the first time I witnessed his mask fall apart. The first time I saw that Maddox had many layers, many cracks in his soul. He was a king with a crooked crown.
I shouldn’t have cared… I really shouldn’t have…
But I was out of bed before I thought it through. I ran out of my apartment before I could stop myself. My brain argued with me, telling me that he didn’t deserve my help.
My heart screamed and called out to Maddox. I belatedly realized the repercussions of my actions… what it meant for me to run to him when he was in such a vulnerable state. I realized the fallout could be worse than the original pain I went through, when I realized Maddox’s betrayal.
If I went to him now… if I let myself feel for him now…
But it was too late. I was already in the elevator before I could overthink.
He needed me.
He needed me.
He needed me.
It happened in slow motion. I took the elevator down to the lobby and found him there. Pacing the length of it. His body was tensed and locked tight. His fingers tugging on his hair, like a mad man. He let out a small sound in the back of his throat, an angry growl, as he began to hit the side of his skull. “Fuck, fuck… FUCK!”
He crumbled before me.
“Maddox,” I said his name, before I realized what I was doing.
His head snapped up, and he stared at me, blue eyes so raw, so deep… deep as the ocean that I could easily drown in them and I… did. Drowned and sunk to the bottom.
His face contorted in pain. I wasn’t wearing any life jacket when he caught me in his powerful, violent tides and pulled me below the surface, dragging me into the deep end.
“Lila,” Maddox said hoarsely. He looked at me, as if I was his saving grace, his lifeline.
His chest rattled with ragged breaths, and I could see the panic setting in. “The elevator,” he croaked.
The look he gave me, it eviscerated my heart. Destroyed my already broken heart, further fracturing it into little pieces that could not be glued together again.
I walked to him, stepping a hairsbreadth away from his shaking form. “The…elevator… I can’t… Lila.” His deep, broken timbre vibrated through my bones and slid down my spine. I trembled, feeling his pain as if it were my own.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, grasping his hand in mine.
Maddox laced our fingers together, holding on tightly. So tight I almost lost the feeling in my hand.
Moving onto my tiptoes, I brought our faces closer. “Do you trust me?”
Maddox gave me a heartbroken nod. His eyes flashed with darkness and fear.
He trusted me.
Like I had trusted him.
The only difference between us was that I didn’t, and would never, betray his trust.
I thought Maddox and I were alike. He’d never hurt me, just like I’d never hurt him. Not willingly. Not intentionally.
It turned out… I was wrong.
Wrong about Maddox. Wrong about us.
“Hold my hand,” I told him. He did, grasping my hand like he was afraid I’d let go. “Trust me.”
It took me a few seconds to register what was happening, to realize what I was about to do. But it was too late. I didn’t pause to think.
He needs me.
My lips met his, as I pushed the button on the elevator. It pinged open, and I tugged Maddox toward me, curling my arms around his neck, as I dragged us backward into the elevator.
The moment my lips met his, Maddox went rigid. His wide shoulders stiffened, and his neck corded with tension. He groaned into the kiss – a groan of pain, fear… shock… and so much anguish.
“Lila,” Maddox whispered against my lips, his voice gritty with emotions.
“Kiss me.” I pulled his attention back to me, when he started to understand what was happening and where he was. In the elevator. A choked gasp echoed on his full lips, and he started pulling away from me, his eyes wide with terror.
“Kiss me,” I breathed. My lips parted, and I traced the seams of his lips with the tip of my tongue.
His breath quickened, and I felt his inner struggle, the pain I knew that plagued his mind. His worst nightmare. The moment he opened for me, I shoved my tongue in his mouth. Maddox grunted against my lips, and his hands went to my ass.
He hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his hips, hooking my ankles behind him. His fingers dug into my ass, and he slammed my back into the elevator wall.
It’s okay, I got you. Feel me.
Our kiss was a battle cry, a crazed desperation, so thick I almost cried out as his lips brutalized mine. I inhaled him; yet, he stole the air from my lungs.
He took my soul in the palm of his hand, and I gave him my life.
The kiss consumed us. We lost all sense of time and place.
Maddox pushed both hands into my hair and wrapped his fingers around the long strands. He jerked my head back, kissing me harder.
Kiss. He was greedy. Kiss. I was angry. Kiss. He was desperate. Kiss. I had been ravenous. Kiss. Brutal. Kiss. Frantic.