“I know it’s not forever, but I need you,” she whimpered as another long roll of thunder shook the walls.
I tilted up her chin, meeting her eyes in the dim light cast by my phone. “It is forever, if you’ll have me, Fee.”
Her chin trembled in my grip. “What?”
“Forgive me for my actions. Forgive me for being a coward. Let me be with you, Fee. Tonight. Tomorrow. Always.”
Tears coursed down her cheeks.
I sank onto the bed, holding her tight. She wrapped her arms around my neck, silent sobs shaking her shoulders. I placed my lips to her ear.
“I love you, FeeNelly. I’ve never loved anyone until now, but I love you. I want to be with you.”
She looked up, her cheeks wet. “So you can sleep?”
I smiled, wiping her face. “So I can live.”
“Why?” she whispered, doubt still coloring her voice. “How?”
“I realized I was hurting you. Hurting Rene.” A sigh rumbled through my chest. “I was denying myself something I wanted but was too afraid to accept.”
“Tell me.”
I met her gaze. “I am worthy of love. Of being loved and giving it.” I gripped her tighter. “I want your love, Fee. I want you.”
She cupped my face, not speaking. Turning my head, I kissed her palm and pressed her hand into my skin.
“You told me once you thought everyone had a little perfection inside them. Let me love you, Fee. If you’re inside my heart, then I finally have my perfection. You’re it.”
“Halton…”
“Tell me I’m not too late. Forgive me.”
She held me tighter, brushing her lips to mine. “Forgiven.” She kissed me, whispering against my mouth, “I love you, Halton Smithers. I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m going to say it until you’re sick of hearing it.”
“Not gonna happen, Fee. I’ll never tire of those words,” I whispered back. “I love you.”
The storm passed, but Fee and I remained locked together on her bed. I had only moved to shed my wet suit then lay beside her, holding her close. As exhausted as I was, as we both were, I couldn’t sleep. I had too much to say.
“I’ve been such an ass.”
“You were trying to protect yourself.”
I laughed, kissing her forehead. “I didn’t need protection from you, Fee. Or Rene.”
She snuggled closer. “You weren’t ready to admit that yet, Halton.” She tipped up her head. “What changed?”
“What Rene said. The thought of never seeing you.” I swallowed. “A call I got from my mother.”
“Oh.”
I sighed. “She wanted money. She didn’t say hello or even pretend. She just wanted money. When I said no, she wasn’t happy.”
“And?”
“I asked her why she never loved me enough. Why she kept me away from my father. She said it was to prove a point. When I told her that it was her fault he became a drunk and ruined my life, she laughed. It hit me right then, she had no empathy. For my father—for me. It terrified me more than her illness. I never wanted to become that callous, and by refusing to admit my feelings for people, I was doing exactly that. And by continuing to be in contact with her, I was letting her continue to hurt me.” I ran my hand down Fee’s back in a long, slow motion. “I don’t need people who hurt in my life. I need people like you. It was time to cut off the past and move forward.” I met her eyes in the dimness. “With you.”
“I’m sorry she hurt you. And I’m sorry you had to cut ties.”
I shrugged. “Actually, it felt good. I don’t owe her anything. She thinks I do, and I’d let her make me feel the same way. It’s done.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything, Halton, except yourself.”
“What do I owe myself?”
She cupped my cheek. “To be happy.”
“I need you for that to happen, Fee.”
“You have me.”
“Can I stay?” I asked, my heart in my throat.
“You want to stay with me? Here?”
“I don’t want to go back to the condo. I’m tired of being alone. I want to be with you.”
“Yeah.” She tightened her hold on my face. “Yeah, you can stay—for as long as you want.”
“I want it all.”
“What are you saying?”
“I lied to you. Weeks ago. I don’t want to be your right now, Fee. I want to be your forever. If you let me.”
“My forever,” she repeated.
I kissed her palm. “Marry me.”
Shock rendered her speechless.
I held her hand over my heart. “This is useless without you. Be my perfect spot forever, FeeNelly.”
“Halton,” she whispered.
“Please.”
Her answer was as simple and perfect as she was to me.
“Yes.”
I pulled her close, kissing her with everything I had in me. Finally free to let myself feel the emotion of loving her.
My Fee.
Moments passed of relearning her in a different language entirely. One of love.
The last of our clothing disappeared with gentle hands. There was nothing rushed or urgent. Long, slow passes of my tongue on hers. Tender sweeps of my fingers along her silky skin. There was a low hum in my body, a need for her I couldn’t explain. I couldn’t get close enough. I couldn’t touch her enough or taste her enough to satisfy my craving for her. No matter what I did, I needed more.
I needed her.
I was cradled between her legs and our gazes locked as I slid inside her, my body easing once we were joined. With a low groan, I buried my face into her fragrant neck.
“Welcome home,” she murmured.
Fusing our lips together, I moved inside her slowly. We were connected from hip to neck, our skin molded together so close, it was as if we were one. I kept my movements easy, our hips never separating as I rode her. Her tender touch made me shiver.
“How do you convey so much with your touch?” I asked, my gaze locked on hers. “How did I not feel your love until now?”
“You weren’t ready.”
“Don’t ever stop.”
She pulled me close, her mouth a breath away from mine.
“Never.”
I loved her with everything I had. My body worshiped hers. My words expressed it. My heart beat her name.
My orgasm washed over me, slow, deep, and powerful. She tightened around me, calling my name. We crested together, our hearts echoing in the passion of the moment.
I rolled away, pulling her close and holding her tight. “I love you.”
“Hmm,” she whispered. “Always, Halton. I’m yours.”
With a contented sigh, I let sleep take me, safe in the knowledge I had her beside me.
“When are you coming home?” Fee’s voice was rough. She’d had the flu the past couple of days, and I hated leaving her alone at home, but the office was crazy.
In the month we’d officially been living together, a lot of changes had happened. I’d hired another lawyer—a woman named Lydia Watson, who had been far and away the most impressive in her interview—even astonishing Rene with her ethics and desire to help people. She was currently working in the library, but Van was busy in the office next door, and soon, she would have her own space.