Candy was the closest thing I had to a friend. She was genuine, but I still had a hard time fully letting her in. Working on something with Ishmael made me desire to work on having a real friendship with her, though. We hung out maybe once a week when we wanted to get to the house, but we never talked on the phone or texted or talked about our personal lives. That wasn’t because she didn’t want to, though, so I was sure she’d be excited when I told her I was finally ready to open up.
On my entire drive to the spa, I thought about my situation and if it was truly wise to keep it from Ishmael. He was really big on getting to know me right now, and I didn’t want him to think I was keeping it from him because I didn’t trust him. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. Selfishly, I wanted to keep it that way. There was only one thing that I regretted in my life, and no matter how hard I tried to run from it, it kept following me.
Me and Candy, whose real name was Candice, pulled up around the same time. At the door, we hugged and complimented each other’s looks as we normally did. Our appointments for massages and mani pedi’s had already been booked, so we only have to sit a few minutes before we went back and undressed. During the massage, we were pretty much silent so that we could relax, but when it was time to get our hands and feet done we started making small talk.
I told her that I had to go to the grocery store when we left here to get some casserole ingredients for Ishmael, which led to her asking me fifty million questions about what had happened between us. She didn’t even realize I was letting her into my personal life. Her ass was just excited that I was finally giving a guy a genuine chance. Out of our five years of knowing each other, this was the first time she’d ever heard me speak about a man on a personal level, and that was totally on me.
“So you know I’m no good at this friend thing, right?”
Candy scoffed and shook her head. “Girl. I’m glad you know. I fuck with you though so it’s cool.”
“It’s not cool. You’re super sweet and loyal, and I haven’t really given you that back because of my issues, but if you’d like, I’m willing to work on that so we can try to have a genuine friendship.”
“Yaaaaasssss,” she squealed, lifting her hand for me to slap as she giggled. “So what brought on this change? Ishmael?”
With a shrug, I nodded as I smiled. “Kind of. My eyes have been opened to the things I’ve been missing in life, and I just want it to be fulfilled, you know?”
“I feel you. My nigga been on me about the same shit. We have an open relationship, but his hoes don’t know how to play their role. They think just because he’s allowed to have sex with them that he’s capable of catching feelings and committing.” Candy rolled her eyes and released a heavy sigh. “I’m ‘bout ready to cut his ass off just to avoid dealing with their asses. Cory is cool, but I don’t need the drama in my life.”
I understood completely what she was saying. Candy was like… our generations Buffy the Body. Even though she didn’t originally plan on having sex with her clients, they expected it and paid her extra just to be able to experience her. I always wondered how her relationship with Cory worked, and knowing that it was an open relationship made sense.
“So what about you? If you and Ishmael commit what you gon’ do?”
“Believe it or not, I started thinking about that the second after we made love last night. I really, really want this to work. If I had to stop escorting altogether, I would. It would take some time because I’ve been doing it for so long, but I would be content with being able to finally experience that next level of life. As far as TTHB is concerned, I would more than likely allow someone to buy it and the app.”
“Well, shit, if you do, let me know what it’s going to cost. I may not have the cash on hand but I’m sure I can run a few licks to get it.”
I chuckled and nodded but didn’t say anything either way. If I ever did sell my business, Candy was the only person I’d give it to. I didn’t tell her that, though, because I didn’t want her to start slacking. We continued to talk and get to know things about each other, and I realized we were complete opposites. Her mother wasn’t in her life and she was raised by her father who was a politician. I think his strictness is what sent her down the path she’d taken. But, she was content with the choices she’d made, and that was all that mattered.
After we left, I felt like a million bucks again. I loved keeping my nails and hair done. At first it was simply because I wanted to always look my best for my clients, but I’ve been doing it for so long now that I genuinely enjoyed it. Same thing went with my makeup. I probably wore it four or five times a week even though my skin was flawless, for something as simple as a trip to Walmart.
My trip to the grocery store was smooth. I only got what I needed to make the casserole plus a bottle of his favorite white wine. He was supposed to come over at seven, so I had about an hour and a half to freshen up, wash my hair and try to flat iron it quickly, and get the casserole in the oven. As I took care of my business, I danced around the bathroom and my bedroom to the latest playlist I’d created featuring Ari Lennox, Summer Walker, and Jhené Aiko.
I wanted to be as calm and relaxed as I possibly could be to make sure that calmness radiated and entered Ishmael the moment he stepped into my home. Providing peace, stability, and emotional and mental security to my clients was the core of my role along with being their heaven and paradise in physical form. With things growing deeper between me and Ishmael, I wanted to continue to be that for him. And it wasn’t like it was a one-way street; Ishmael gave me the exact same things.
It took me about an hour to get showered and wash my hair. By the time Ishmael arrived I was plugging up my blow dryer and flat iron. I started to tell him to wait in the car until I was done but I didn’t feel like hearing his mouth, so I let him inside and made him promise not to look at me as I took him by the hand and led him to the living room. Of course his ass didn’t listen, and the moment he opened his eyes and saw my hair in its natural state he lifted me into his arms and placed kisses all over me until I giggled.
My hair was short and cut in a pixie style with the left side shaved, but it was super curly. Apparently he liked that, because he asked to see pictures of me before I cut my hair. After giving him an old photo album, I headed back to my room to finish getting ready. Since I didn’t have long hair, it took no time at all for me to blow dry and flat iron it, then I headed straight for the kitchen to get started on dinner. With the simple dish he requested, I had the casserole in the oven in less than ten minutes.
While we waited for the casserole to be done, I talked to him about the idea I had and how I thought I could make something shake as a personal shopper. I don’t know why it surprised me that he was so excited and supportive. Well, I guess it was because I was used to my clients telling me about their goals and dreams and I was the one encouraging and lifting them up. I can’t even describe how good it felt to be on the receiving end of that encouragement for a change.
After dinner, we snuggled up on the couch with a couple of blankets and watched a few documentaries before heading to bed. I told myself to take this slow and not get used to having him in my bed every night… but at the same time… I couldn’t help but enjoy what felt so damn right.