He groans as they roll him onto the backboard and then carry him down the stairs. I grab my phone and keys off the front entry table and they’re already closing the doors.
I quickly try to lock up, but my blood-covered hands are shaking so bad I can’t get the key to go in.
Whitman comes over, places his hand over mine, steadying it so I can turn the key. “I’ll drive you over,” he says, guiding me to the cruiser.
I don’t say anything, I’m in shock, and my mind can’t fully absorb anything. I climb in the back and twist my hands together.
The only thing that goes through my mind is that I can’t lose him. Not like this. Not so soon after Stephanie. Not when we haven’t had enough time. We deserve more time.
Please, God, give me more time.
“Randy!” I rush forward as he sprints into the hospital. It’s been twenty minutes since we arrived. I was told to take a seat and they’d let me know something, but no one will answer me. They keep saying I’m not family. “They’re not telling me anything, but they’re working on him.”
“Okay, I’ll find out.” Randy heads to the desk where the nurse grabs a file and then escorts him back.
Savannah’s hand touches my shoulder, and I turn to her with tears streaming. “It’s okay, Heather. Eli is strong.”
“I don’t know what happened. There was blood on the carpet from the bathroom to where I found him. I guess he hit his head and stopped there?” Now that I’ve had time to think, I’m trying to piece together the scene. My best guess is that he fell. I know his foot was giving him problems, so maybe he tripped? Either way, he hit his head, and then either fell again . . . or something. Why was he dripping with sweat? Did he have to drag himself from the bathroom? I don’t know. “I couldn’t tell the paramedics anything. I don’t know what caused this or if he takes any medication . . . I called as soon as I snapped out of it.”
Savannah guides me to the chair, and she’s silent. “So, you and Eli haven’t really gotten to that share everything point?” she asks after a few minutes.
“No, I guess not. We happened so fast and so strong. It was like this tornado that swooped us both up. Plus, I was dealing with my sister’s disease, and he was trying to be there for me. I don’t know.”
She takes my hand in hers. “Randy should be out soon, he’ll let you know what’s going on.”
“I should’ve gone and checked on him earlier.”
Hindsight is a bitch. I had a feeling when he wasn’t responding. I ignored it, and he needed me.
Randy comes into view, and we both stand. “He’s going to be okay. He’s confused, but he’ll be fine.”
“Oh, thank God.” I sigh. The weight lifts from my chest, and I can breathe again.
“He wants to see you, but he needs a few more tests.”
“Okay.” I’ll sit out here and wait forever if it means he’ll be okay. He’s going to be okay. I knew I was afraid, but I hadn’t realized how tightly the fear had gripped me until it was gone. “Do you know what happened?”
Randy looks to Savannah and then back to me. “The details are fuzzy, but I’m sure he’ll explain what he remembers.”
“I’m going to call your mom,” Savannah says and kisses his cheek.
“I’m glad you checked on him,” Randy says as we take a seat. “I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t gone there. He’s really lucky to have you, Heather. I hope you know how much he loves you.”
It’s weird hearing this from his brother. We’ve only met twice now, but Randy seems to understand Eli at his core. He clearly loves his brother, and it’s a bond I can understand completely. What he said is something I would’ve felt toward someone loving Stephanie.
“I love him, too.”
He nods. “I believe you do.”
Savannah returns from her phone call right as the doctor comes out.
He explains that Eli finished his CT scan, and they’re going to do some additional testing, but he’s alert and receiving fluids. “He’s back in his room if you’d like to see him, he’s asking for Randy and then Heather.”
“I’ll be brief.” He smiles and then follows the doctor through the double doors.
Relief floods my veins now that we’ve confirmed he’s going to be fine. I close my eyes and say a silent prayer to Stephanie. I feel her here. This hospital was where we spent so much time together. Days of testing that turned into overnights because of her exhaustion. So many nights I slept in that God-awful chair that they said was a bed, hoping her pain would subside.
I hoped it would be a long time before I walked these halls again.
Randy returns to the waiting room not even ten minutes later.
“He’s waiting for you.” He smiles. “We have to get back to the kids, but if you need anything, just call, okay? I’ll come back tomorrow to check on things.”
Savannah pulls me in and kisses my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow as well, okay?”
“Of course.”
I make my way to Eli’s room and knock softly. The door creaks and his eyes meet mine. All at once, my emotions burst forward. Relief that he’s okay, fear that it could’ve gone another way, happiness that he looks a little like himself, guilt that I wasn’t there, and most of all . . . love for this man.
“Eli,” I say as a prayer. I move forward, and he pulls me to his chest. “God, I was so scared.”
His arms are tight, and I breathe him in. “I’m going to be fine, baby.”
I lift my head and touch his face. “You scared me.”
He closes his eyes. “I was stupid.”
“Stupid?”
Eli takes my hands in his. “I should’ve never pushed myself.”
“What happened?” I ask, but the nurse enters.
“Hi, Mr. Walsh, I’m your nurse, Shera,” she smiles. “I’m going to start the Solu-Medrol in the IV, and then I’ll take your vitals again.”
“Thank you,” he says.
I know that drug.
I don’t know why, but I swear I’ve heard it before.
I rack my brain to remember why the hell it sounds so familiar.
Then it hits me.
Solu-Medrol is what they gave Stephanie when her nerve pain flared. It’s a drug she had several times to reduce the inflammation, and it’s only used for severe conditions.
My eyes meet Eli’s, and the floor drops out from beneath me.
Chapter 25
Eli
I see the storms roll through her brown eyes. I watch the confliction without saying a word. There’s nothing I’m going to be able to say to explain this.
I’ve been lying to her.
The nurse takes her time as the tension fills the room. I almost want her to stay, any second to prolong the inevitable, I’ll take.
There were so many times I could’ve said something. Randy laid into me pretty hard, and I deserved every word.
He has no idea the guilt I’ve felt for keeping my illness from her. The nights I lie awake with her in my arms, hating myself because I’m a pussy and couldn’t let her go. I’m a selfish prick. I know this, but for the first time, I didn’t care.