People like her and Matt don’t deserve a love like ours. Eli has given me more joy in our time together than anyone was able to give me in years.
Our relationship will be tested, but he has to know I’m not going anywhere. He’s assured me of that more times than I can count. Not only in his words but also in what he’s shown me. Now, I need to give him the same assurances.
Eli stays silent for a few seconds, and regret rolls off him. “Jesus, I’m just fucking up left and right. I know you’re not her or him. I was pissed off at myself, and I needed to give you the reason to walk away.”
“Is that what you want?” I ask.
His fingers wrap around my wrist and he tightens his grip. “No.”
“I’m glad, because I have no intention of going anywhere. Even if you act like an ass sometimes. I’m not some fan who loves you because I have this idealistic dream of who you are. Love isn’t some word to me, it’s everything. I shared my heart with you, not because I want perfect, but because I want you. When I look at you, I see a life together. And no matter what life throws at us, I’m going to fight for you and with you, Ellington.”
“Am I allowed to talk?” he asks.
“No, I have one last thing.” He fights a smile, but it’s probably the most important point we’ve yet to cover. “Don’t ever lie to me again. This entire thing could’ve been avoided if you had talked to me. No lies between us. Ever.”
“Okay,” he replies, releasing my wrist only to take my hand in his. “I’ll never lie to you again.”
“You’re going to share with me, Eli. You’re going to have to let me carry your burdens just like I let you shoulder mine. But I’m not going to run from us. I’ve done that before, and you caught me.”
Eli grips the back of my head and pulls me close so we’re nose to nose. “I’m glad you say that, because as soon as I got control of my legs, I was going to hunt you down, and you weren’t getting away again.”
No matter what the future throws at us, I want to walk through it with him. I need him so much it’s not even normal.
“I don’t think you would’ve had to go far,” I admit. “I never left the hospital grounds. I couldn’t do it even though I was pissed.”
Eli releases me. “Lay with me.”
“Are you sure?”
He winces as he moves his legs over, making room. “Come on, I need to hold you.”
I get on my side, nestling myself against his chest. I rest my chin on my hand and look at him. He smirks. “What are you smiling at?” For the first time, I can’t help but laugh a little. He’s too damn adorable.
“That you love me and couldn’t leave. I’m glad I made you fall deep.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever, you’re just as bad.”
His smile fades, and Eli takes my face in his hands. “I’m far deeper than you even know. My life didn’t make sense until that night at the concert. I thought I knew what love was, I didn’t have a clue until you. I’ve never been more broken than when I watched you close that door. The pain I felt in that moment isn’t something I ever want to feel again.” Eli brushes his thumb against my cheek. “You’re the strongest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I promise that there is nothing I won’t do to prove how much I love you. Forgive me, Heather.”
I kiss his lips and then rest my forehead against his, knowing we can face the storms ahead of us together. “I forgive you.”
“I told you before that we could only own tonight, but that was bullshit.”
My eyes meet his with confusion.
“I’m going to own all of our days, nights, and every tomorrow.”
He presses his mouth to mine, and I melt into his touch. The weight that was sitting on my heart is lifted, and I know we’re going to be okay.
Chapter 27
Heather
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask him as we park in my driveway.
“You baked me a cake, and I’m going to eat it.”
Eli was released from the hospital today, and he basically demanded we go straight to my house. He regained feeling in his legs after the first day, and he’s able to walk now with his walker. His doctors reiterated how important it is to stay on track with his medications and infusions, and he claims he understands.
We’ve spent the last few days making plans and trying hard not to focus on his condition. Matt granted me another week off work, and I’m going to New York with Eli.
I help him from the car, and he grumbles when I bring the walker out.
“Don’t gripe, you know you have to use it, Gramps.”
“You do realize in a week, I could be perfectly normal and be able to kick your ass for that comment.”
I smile, “I like my chances on outrunning you.”
He huffs and pushes the walker toward the house. “Thinks she’s all badass because she’s a cop, I’ll show her.”
I’ve missed this playful, smartass, and horny-as-hell side of him. However, I swear, he tried to get me to blow him in the hospital. That was a fun fight, where I did actually help him a little, however I was not on board with hospital blow jobs. He threatened that if I didn’t, he’d find a nurse to give him a sponge bath.
No one in that hospital was touching his junk but me.
We enter the house, and he sits on the couch. “You okay?” he asks for the millionth time. I don’t need to even bother asking what he’s referring to.
Tomorrow, Eli will hold a press conference to announce his condition along with our relationship. His publicist pretty much demanded we take control of the situation. They took thousands of photos of me coming in and out of the hospital. The constant barrage of questions was out of control. Eli was livid and demanded Sharon get here and handle things.
“Stop asking me that. I’m fine.” For the most part. “Am I excited about this? No, but it’s what has to be done. Honestly, I’m glad we had time before people figured it out.”
Eli pulls me to his side and kisses the top of my head. “You’re going to be great. You don’t have to talk, just stand there and look pretty.”
He’s ridiculous. His publicist, Sharon, is a lunatic. I swear, she’s her own brand of energy. She talks a mile a minute, has a Bluetooth constantly attached to her ear, and can carry on at least four conversations at once. She scares me—a lot.
“Sharon said they’re going to hound me more if I refuse to speak. She practically demanded I answer questions.”
“Baby, they’re going to hound you no matter what. It’s part of their game, but the beginning will be the worst. After that, some asshole will do something stupid, and they’ll move on.”
I look at him and grin. “Basically, we should hope for a celebrity shit show?”
“Pretty much. Give them a real juicy story, and they’ll all flock to that.”
This world is a little odd. I’ve never understood the appeal of stalking celebrities. Nicole tried to explain it to me once, but it was as if she were trying to explain quantum physics to a rock. I just didn’t get it.