“How did you—”
“Do you like it?” Sam stood in profile in front of the bright colored lights that filled every branch of the tree.
I couldn’t help myself. I set the tray down and walked up to him. I grabbed his hands and squeezed. “It’s beautiful and I missed Christmas . . . I volunteered to work at the hospital so I wouldn’t have to be alone.”
I couldn’t remember the last time somebody did something kind for me. Emotion suddenly tightened my throat. Sam smiled so big it tingled the backs of my knees.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“So beautiful,” he said, his voice next to my ear.
But when I looked up at him, he wasn’t looking at the tree; his gaze was focused fully on me.
Sam
When she looked at me like that the pressure in my chest ceased. There were reasons I couldn’t stay, and the reality of that shook me. But in this moment the only thing that mattered was making her feel cherished. The unadulterated awe that shone from her face made everything I’d done in my past worth it just to be here now. Had nobody ever done something so simple before for her? I would light up entire cities to elicit this same reaction.
I glanced at the record player in the corner. The needle scratched before a low crooning voice sang about a blue Christmas.
Anna startled, glancing from the record player to me. “How—”
“Dance with me?” I asked.
Her mouth hung open and my desire to kiss her there was so powerful my fists balled in the fabric of her clothes, pulling her closer to me. She nodded, dumbfounded, as I brought her into my arms. The heat from her body seeped into my skin as she pressed against me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I relaxed my grip to smooth the skin just under her shirt. She swayed slowly to the tempo, humming.
“My mother loved Elvis.”
“Mm.” I couldn’t find words when she was in my arms like this. There was an energy coursing through me, but something else as well. A nagging need to tell her something important. Our connection was pure and as corporal as these bodies, but I knew I didn’t belong here. How could half of me feel so strongly that I needed to stay while the other half tugged, pulling me away?
“Anna . . .” I started speaking, but I wasn’t sure what to say.
“Hmm?” She looked up at me with tenderness and it pierced my soul.
“Never mind.” I just pulled her closer, swaying slowly in the light of the tree. Snow fell softly outside the window. The fire crackled. And sweet Anna filled my senses.
I could stay here just a moment more. After a few more songs, the needle scratched on the spinning record, coming to the end. We stilled. My heart hammered loudly in my chest. Anna pulled back to look up at me. The lights shone in her big blue eyes.
“I think I might be dreaming,” she said. “Or maybe I died. I should have named you after an angel.”
I reached behind her head, threading my fingers in her luscious hair. I pulled her closer to me, slowly so I could memorize every inch of her face as I lowered my head to hers. It was a soft brush of lips, chaste and sweet. I needed more. With our foreheads pressed together, our breath mingled. Our kiss felt inevitable. The stars had aligned to bring me here. This was no coincidence.
“Call me whatever you want,” I said. “As long as you scream it when I make you come.”
Her jaw dropped. “Holy shit, Sam. Your flippity-flops from sweet to hot are blowing my mind. Kiss me again.” Soft hands drifted into my hair, tugging me closer, demanding things I had wanted from her since my eyes had opened to see her standing above me in the snowy pasture. The minutes from that moment until now felt like years as I stood here with her in my arms. She tempted me beyond my already diminished capacity to reason.
She was mine.
Without hesitation, I kissed her. My tongue slid against hers as I explored her mouth, sweet and warmed from the drink she had prepared for us.
Mine.
One kiss melted into the next, tongues exploring, bodies pressed tight. Our mouths moved together, dancing, just as we’d done in each other’s arms while swaying in the lights from the tree. I never wanted to stop. The more my senses filled with her, the stronger my conviction that this was right became. Kissing, touching, taking her for my own was the only thing I could fathom doing.
“Anna, tell me to stop and I will.” I demanded, too clouded by need to stop on my own but knowing that with just one word from her I would cease.
“No. I don’t want to stop. Kiss me some more. I need you to kiss me, I can almost . . . remember you this way.” She pulled away, stumbling out of my arms. “But that’s crazy, right? Tell me it’s crazy, Sam.” She gasped as the name she gifted me fell from her lips.
I stumbled back as memories began to flood my mind. My purpose here solidified. As much as I wanted to stay, I had to move. There was no more time.
Her hazy eyes and swollen lips beckoned me. There was no going back now. I had never felt so drawn in two. I had a desperate purpose for my family but knew this woman already had half of my heart. There was no doubt that Anna was now part of my plans.
“We must go.” I bent, gathering the blanket to wrap around my waist. “There’s no time to waste.”
Anna stepped back, her brow furrowed as she brought her fingers to her lips. “Wait. What?” She glanced to the lit-up tree and back at me. “Now?”
“Yes. I must speak to the llama. It’s about saving my family.”
9
Anna
Hi, My name is Anna and I make terrible life choices. It has been one minute since my last terrible life choice.
Of course. Of course the man who kisses like an angel and swept me off my feet is a few sandwiches shy of a picnic.
And yet . . .
The strangest sense of déjà vu I had ever experienced swept through my body when our lips met. I wandered in a haze of disbelief as I got dressed and found clothes for him too. I was on autopilot. What does one say to the crazy man who just kissed them senseless? I clearly had no sense left. Occasionally my fingertips drifted to my lips and ghosted over them. I’d never thought much about reincarnation before, but kissing Sam was like having a piece of my soul I had never known was missing returned to me. It would make remembering life after life worth it.
“Anna?” His thumb brushed my cheek, shaking me out of my reverie.
He wore jeans stretched too small over his muscular thighs. And the flannel shirt was rolled up, highlighting his forearms and somehow his biceps at the same time. All he needed was an axe balanced on his shoulder and he could be in a lumberjack porn calendar.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
I licked my lips with a shake of my head. “What do you mean ‘go talk to the llama?’”
Maybe I had misunderstood in my haze of lust.
“I think he is the key as to why I am here.”
Nope. Okay. So definitely crazy then. “My llama? Marv is the key as to why you’re in Stars Crossing?”
He thought for a moment. “Yes. I believe so. Kissing you . . . It stirred something in my memory. I believe I know him.”
The dread solidified into a block of ice that encased my thumping heart. “Ah. Right. You know my llama.”