I finished sipping on the hot cider, refilled my mug, and sat down in front of the computer to see if I missed any important correspondence from my workplace.
Being female, it was hard enough to be a development team manager at a software company that's mostly about the purity of male dominance. Add to that me being a well-known model and succeeding in this field became almost impossible, but I busted my ass to get that promotion.
After I finished getting caught up on work issues, I went to set Mike up for the night. Nick, my colleague and best friend, gave Mike to me a few months ago. Mike is a heated pillow. I painted a face on it, developed some serious boundary issues with it, related to it as a person, and embraced it every night as I went to bed alone.
I placed Mike in the microwave for thirty seconds, and when he came out, I held him close to my lap.
"Oh, my wonderful Mike..." I smiled to myself and walked with him to my bedroom.
With great anticipation, I lay down in my bed, hugged Mike and turned on the television to watch the new episode of the reality show I was hooked on, which I missed while being on that unpleasant date.
I was addicted to any program where people strived to find true love. Not so surprising, given the fact that I longed to find my own.
"Jennifer, this is your last rose for this evening," the host said as he placed his hand on the bachelorette's shoulder, Jennifer, hinting that the episode was close to its end. He went on to say his regular line, "Who do you want to say goodbye to tonight?"
I watched the screen in suspense as Jennifer looked at the two anxious men facing her. Five men had already been given roses, but then she had to choose between Adam and Brian. My heartbeat accelerated as I waited to hear which of them would continue to try and conquer her heart.
All I could think about was that she was dealing with what I would call "rich people's problems." Poor Jennifer. She had too many men who wanted to love her. Poor goddamn Jennifer.
"Wow, this is such a hard decision." Tears burst in the corners of Jennifer's eyes, and I swear my heart actually paused as she went on. "Before I expose my choice, I must say that regardless of it, I'm going to say goodbye to a man who managed to find a spot deep inside my heart." It was obvious she was stalling for time.
"All right, we heard you, Jennifer," I yelled at the TV. "Boo-hoo. You have twenty-five drop-dead-gorgeous men waiting for the chance to get to know you. I feel for you, I really do, now come on. Choose already!"
"I have developed deep feelings for each of the men standing in front of me, but this is the format's rules, and I have just one more rose to hand out." Jennifer continued to annoy me.
Seriously, I couldn’t stand her. What was she even debating about? It was clear that Adam was a better fit for her. After all, Brian wasn’t at all sure that he even wanted to get married. He said it clearly and straightforwardly, so what was there to even think about when—
"Brian," Jennifer said, and I straightened up in my bed. "Will you accept this rose?"
"Ugh, you dumb-ass!" I scold at her out loud. "How stupid can you be? Do you even want a husband? Do you even want a wedding? He already told you he wasn't sure if he would offer all of that to you!"
"Sure. I'll be glad to accept it." Brian leaned toward her, enabling her to stick the rosebud in his shirt and went to join the smiling line of men standing behind Jennifer.
"You just made a huge mistake," I said, expressing my disapproval to her again.
"Adam, I'm sorry. Please, take a few moments to say your goodbyes." The host turned to the teary, sweet, honest Adam, and I wanted to stop watching the show right there and then.
How did she not see Brian was playing her? Is she even looking for love, or is she in it for the fame?
"I'm so sorry, Adam." I watched Jennifer burst into tears between Adam's arms since I was an addict and couldn’t bring myself to stop watching, even though I knew she would keep upsetting me.
"I don't understand, Jennifer... I... I just don't understand." Adam's inability to find the right words made it clear how surprised he was at her choice, and I wanted to hug him. Poor guy.
"I don’t know what to say." Although, Jennifer obviously knew what to say, since she went on saying it. "I just feel that my relationships with the other men are deeper and stronger than ours. I feel I wasn’t able to reach such a connection with you yet. Don’t you feel it too?"
"I really don’t, Jennifer. I feel like I've fallen in love with you, and I also feel like my heart just got broken into pieces." Tears ran down Adam's face, as he spoke from his heart, as he always did.
"I'm so sorry, but I honestly can't say that back to you at this moment, Adam. That's why it's best to say our goodbyes now before you'll be hurt even worse." Tears streamed from Jennifer's eyes as she turned from him and walked away.
This may have been the saddest thing I ever saw. It felt like my heart literally broke.
The excitement subdued my attempt to hold back the tears, and I allowed them to accompany the sense of missing out, which filled me.
Had it been me, had I been the bachelorette, I would have made the right choice. I'd say much more decisive words, and I'd make sure no one’s feelings got hurt. But that wasn’t me. It was dumbass, Jennifer. She was the bachelorette for that season, and I couldn’t help but watch her every move.
"Jennifer, it was an emotional night," the host said, reciting his line as he laid his arm on her shoulder with what looked like a comforting hug. "I guess it'll be best to call it a night. Tomorrow awaits you with some new fun activities and many surprises."
The next scene showed Jennifer on her way back to her hotel room. She whined and cried for the painful breakup she just experienced and actually seemed to be contemplating whether she made the right choice or not, though I thought she was wasting precious time on nonsense.
There was a whole production crew backing her up and standing firmly behind her. Just as the host said, tomorrow awaits her. Unlike any other single woman who experiences a breakup, Jennifer won't have to look for Adam on the social networks to find out if he had already changed his relationship status. She won't find herself trying to figure out his state of mind from his Instagram posts, and she won't be sitting around waiting for a phone call that's bound to never arrive.
Tomorrow would bring a new day, and I was sure it was going to be full of activities and surprises. Not for me, but for Jennifer. So much so that Adam will be a distant and painless memory, if that.
"Ugh, so much drama," I said aloud and turned off the TV.
I knew that specific show like the back of my hand, and those tears Jennifer shaded were nothing but unnecessary drama. I knew she was going to go on a group date the following morning, and thus, the game will go on in her search for her marriage proposal.
"If I had to choose the man of my dreams, I would definitely choose you, Mike!" Hugging the only thing keeping me warm at night, I fell asleep.
Chapter 2
The next morning I woke up exhausted and upset. The thoughts of the heartbroken Adam, who was submissively driven back to his home, bothered me, and I hated seeing such poor female judgment live on national TV.