"I agree with Remy." Judy, the user manual translation department manager, and Nick's sworn enemy joined in and expressed her opinion. "I think both the way and the route defined in that format can make it possible to find true love."
"What's so great about them?" I asked, realizing their insights had so intrigued me that I had yet to touch any of my food.
"The filtering process, the tasks, the romantic experiences they share…" Judy paused as she stuck her fork in a slice of tomato and chewed with her mouth closed. "I think they're right to put the candidates in a position where they feel they have to prove themselves."
Nick smirked. "So you're saying there's no problem with putting people in a position where they have to prove themselves to find love?" he asked in an aggressive tone with his mouth full.
"I do, at least psychologically." Judy once again reminded everyone sitting at the table of the behavioral psychology degree she obtained from Harvard. "If I think of that show as part of a behavior analysis model, I really believe it's a format that can bring out the perfect romantic pairing." Judy shrugged.
"But...?" I said prompting her to share the rest of her thoughts on the matter.
"But as I said before, I agree with Remy. The problem is that the process is broadcast on television."
"I still don’t see the problem with that?" Some food pieces flew out from Nick's mouth as he said that to land on the table, making us all laugh at his expense for several moments.
"The problem is that the reasons behind each contestant participating will always be questionable," Judy replied, continuing her answer.
"You know what? That's actually true!" Nick widened his eyes as if in wonder at finding logic in Judy's words. We all knew that he loved to hate her. "In some of the prior seasons, I remember feeling that a few of the contestants came there just to get to the advanced stages. I had such a strong feeling that they hoped not to be chosen after some point so that they'd have a chance to be the next bachelor."
"That's right!" I nodded as their theories suddenly became clearer. "That's what I thought of Henry from two seasons ago. He was adorable, until the last episode, when all of a sudden, he became a mad fanatic. It looked like he wanted to be broken up with."
"Corinne was the one who did something like that in the last season." Nick also demonstrated his extensive knowledge of the show's history.
"But it didn't work out for her in the end." I smiled, pleased that Corinne was ousted, and it was Jennifer who was chosen to be the next bachelorette.
"Naomi?" Nick placed his hand on my shoulder.
"Yes?"
"We seem to have too much free time on our hands," he said, and all the managers sitting around the corporate table burst out laughing.
It was late when I came home that day, but that wasn’t an unusual thing for me.
In the absence of any meaningful social content in my life, I gave my all at work and spent hours longer than I needed at the office. My superiors saw it as appropriate compensation for the occasional time I took off when a big photo-shoot needed me to travel abroad, and I guess I was just grateful for the available and handy distraction.
I put my backpack in its place and replaced my work clothes with my favorite tracksuit as I hurried to type in my regular search words on Google.
"Royal food dishes recipe."
I switched the search results view from websites to images and scrolled the results screen until one image caught my eye.
That search was my culinary life routine.
I always eat a light breakfast at home, a repulsive lunch at the office, and a king's dinner for one, which I made myself every evening.
For me to be able to have such culinary freedom, I made sure to keep my refrigerator well-stocked at all times. I wanted to be able to spontaneously decide which dish I'll make, regardless of the ingredients that were present or missing, and though I knew my housekeeper threw out quite a few products that expired each week and that it wasn’t a very smart economic behavior on my part, it was a price I was willing to pay. I chose a recipe of roasted ribeye slices with mushrooms and onions and was so thankful to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle.
I heated the oven and arranged all the needed ingredients to make the dish according to the recipe I printed out.
"Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Bachelorette," The host declared as I excitedly turned on the small TV in my kitchen.
I placed some pickled forest mushroom, champignon mushrooms, and Portobello pieces in a large and slightly deep pan and was cleaning the pickled onions under the running tap water while the concluding scenes from the previous episode aired.
"Tonight, on The Bachelorette," the host voiced over, and I knew various scenes of the soon-to-be aired episode were about to be shown, yet I didn’t see them, as I rushed to close my eyes.
"La, la, la, la, la…" I stuck my fingers in my ears and said out loud so I wouldn't hear the teasers, though occasionally, I did peek to see if the unnecessary promo was over.
I watched Jennifer choose Thomas for a one-on-one date in Barcelona, as I sprinkled thyme over the ingredients in the pan and generously poured a few tablespoons of olive oil on top of it all.
"Jennifer, I feel the need to tell you that there is an unpleasant atmosphere at the house," I thought Thomas was wrong to start the conversation with her in that way. From watching each and every season of that show, I learned that a contestant who creates unnecessary drama, finds himself out at the next cocktail party, whether he told the truth or not.
"Are you talking about tension between you guys?" Jennifer asked as I ground some salt and pepper over the grenadine extract I poured.
"Not between all of the guys, it's..." Thomas made as if he was trying to decide whether to continue or not, but who was he kidding? He was clearly pretending to be miserable so that Jennifer would feel bad for him. What an idiot. Pity isn’t an attractive quality, and there are no exceptions.
"Thomas, what's the matter? You can tell me anything." Jennifer stroked his cheek.
"It's Chad. He's been violent and aggressive. I’ve got to say, Jennifer… I don't think he's here for the right reasons."
"You're a goddamn liar, Thomas!" I shouted at the television and threw my fists at the countertop. "You're so full of bullshit!" I added.
Remy and Judy were right. The mere fact that they participated in a TV show caused constant friction and drama, pretense, and unnecessary ego wars that wouldn’t have taken place had it been a camera-free environment.
"Come on, open your eyes, Jennifer! Thomas is the aggressive one. Thomas is the violent one." I waved the raw ribeye at her after greasing it, then placed it in the center of the pan.
At first, when I just started watching the show, I didn't understand why the production didn't tell the bachelorette what was going on between the men, at the house, on hours where she didn't see them, but actually, after watching numerous seasons, I understood it perfectly. It was their plan all along. Just like Remy and Judy said, it was a TV show, designed to make me scream at the screen instead of putting my dinner in the oven or finding Jennifer her true love.