I planned to figure out who of the men intrigued me and to take those same men out to the balcony for a deeper acquaintance, but as the evening progressed, that didn’t only seem like an impossible mission, it actually looked like the wrong one. I was looking at it all wrong.
I suddenly thought that the best way to go at it would be to try and get to know those that seemed less appropriate for me at that moment. There was no way I'd be able to really learn something deep about any of them, though if I had doubts about some, I might be able to reach a faster decision in their regard.
Having decided that, I turned my gaze away from Omar. He was safe. He wasn’t going to be among the two I would send home that night, and neither were Michael, Emilio, Roy, and the pediatrician whose name I hadn’t yet discovered. I could already conclude that those five weren’t in any heartbreak danger since I either found them intriguing or attractive enough.
I took another gaze at everyone around me and realized that if these five men were sure to be present in my project, I'd get a better chance to talk to them later on, so I decided I'd spend my time on that cocktail party with the men I marked as questionable to me.
I looked at all of them and tried to decide who would be the first to be invited out with me when a warm heavy hand landed on my shoulders, a little too hard for my taste, and I turned my head quickly to see who was standing behind me.
"Shall we go out for a little while?" Benny Segal looked determined and powerful on the one hand, though on the other, the smile on his face indicated tenderness and sensitivity that were hidden under his manly ragged veil.
He didn't even wait for an answer. He just took my hand and led me to the balcony. I sat down on the bench under one of the heating poles as he sat next to me and spread over the both of us the blankets that were waiting for us on the coffee table.
"So tell me, Naomi, what made you take such a bold step?"
"Honestly, Nick convinced me to do this. He's the one that came up with this surreal adventure." I smiled awkwardly.
"But why do you even need it?" I didn’t like Benny’s tone. "I mean… How does a girl like you reach such a desperate situation in the first place?" I definitely didn’t like his tone, and having to answer his questions made me very uncomfortable.
"It's a little hard to answer that right now."
"Why? Because you don’t want to admit to having any weaknesses?"
"What? What does that…? I… What?" I slid a little farther from him on the bench so that I could really look into his eyes as he went on.
"I think you're trying to be perfect, and if you don’t mind me saying, that's a mistake." I minded him saying that! "I know it's uncomfortable, but I think you should answer my question."
"Oh, do you?"
"Especially if it's hard for you. Don't you see that whatever it is you did up until now was the cause for you staying single all these years? I think you should do the exact opposite of what your instincts are telling you to do. That’s all."
"Well, it looks like you don’t really need me to answer your inappropriate question, Benny." I got mad. "You seem to know why I've been alone for so long, so maybe you should tell me; what's the problem with me?"
"I didn't mean to offend you, Naomi."
"Then what did you mean by that?" I crossed my arms angrily.
"I just meant that... Well… How can I put it…"
"Just spit it out."
"I have no problem stating that if I had a girl like you, even for only one day, I wouldn't dare let her slip away from me."
"Well, there you have me. I'm here, and you have me for tonight, or at least for this moment. How about you tell me something personal about you instead of making me want to go back inside?"
"Ummm..." The light in his eyes suddenly went off, and I could feel his uplifting spirit abandoning his steady posture. "I... I was once… I used to be... I mean… I was once married, but now I'm a widower. Is that personal enough?"
"Oh, wow. I'm so sorry to hear that, Benny."
"Yeah, well… I'm sorry to have to say it." The honesty in his words was evident. "That's what I meant, you see? I already found the girl of my dreams, and I didn’t waste any time playing games. I grabbed her with both my hands and held on to her for as long as I could."
"May I ask what happened?"
"You want to know what happened to my Miley?" He released a sigh full of pain, and after that, there was no trace of the aggressive, forceful man I didn’t appreciate and was sitting in front of me just a moment ago. "We had a car accident. My Miley died on the spot."
"Oh no." I wrapped my arm over him.
"Yeah, well…"
"Oh, Benny, I... I don't really know what to say right now." I swallowed hard and tried to find the words that could comfort someone who suffered that kind of loss.
"That's okay. There's not much to say about it. If I'm being honest, sometimes, all I want is to sit with someone and just be quiet."
"So, let's do that for a bit." I curled closer to him and savored the extent of his arms tightening around me as his body heat kept me warm.
We remained silent like that for quite a few long minutes.
I could only imagine what things went through his head, and even though I know I should have gone back to the cocktail party, I felt he needed to be there with me for just a little longer.
I had so many questions for him. I needed to know if his loss would be an issue, how long ago that happened, or if he had a serious relationship after losing such a great love. Most importantly, I wanted to know why he thought that my delusional project was the right way for him to love again. But I remained silent.
Benny asked me for a quiet hug, and that was exactly what I intended to provide.
"Knock, knock. Can I disturb you guys for a moment?" The pediatrician, whose name I still didn’t remember, glanced through the balcony glass door he opened, and a big content smile stretched across his face.
"Not right now, dude," Benny rushed to answer as he waved his hand toward the intruder in a very disrespectful way. "Come back in a few minutes." Benny didn’t even look at the pediatrician, and in a split second, that powerful, aggressive guy I was disgusted by earlier returned in his full glory.
"Dude," It was evident that the pediatrician wasn’t used to saying that word, "you stole fifteen minutes of her time. I and the other men also want to get to know Naomi, so if you could please—"
"Was I not clear, you tiny little man?" Benny stood up, and a small growl crept out of his mouth.
"Wow, wait." I hurried to stand between them. "It's okay, Benny. I'm so glad we got to talk, and I promise we'll have more opportunities to do that again. I actually should go back and…" I placed my hand on his shoulder, hoping to calm him down, yet I instantly felt how tense he was, as he didn’t even wait for the rest of my sentence.
"Stay the fuck away from me!" Benny huffed at the poor guy, and I literally held my breath in terrible suspense as he passed daringly close to the pediatrician's face and disappeared into my apartment.