Gabriel looked at her for a moment, and then he looked back at Savannah. “I’m sorry,” he said to her. “I’ll handle this.” Savannah only gave a wan smile.
“Yeah, you always did know how to handle this,” Marissa said. Gabriel rolled his eyes, cursing his luck, and slammed the door behind them as they walked outside. He hadn’t meant to slam the door so hard.
“Why did you really come back, Marissa?” Gabriel asked. He thought maybe she needed money or a place to crash. She’d never been against leveraging someone’s heart against them… or leveraging her body against them, whichever worked best. Then again, Gabriel knew Marissa wasn’t entirely evil. He’d loved her at one point. Gabriel had been madly in love with Marissa, no matter how crazy she was.
“I told you. I want to be a family again.” Marissa looked down at the ground in front of her feet. “I made a mistake, Papi, and I’m hoping you’ll forgive me. Don’t you want to be a family again? Me, you, Rio?”
“But you left me and Rio. Leaving me was one thing, but you carried Rio for nine damn months. Then, you left him behind to go do whatever it was you thought you needed to do. You haven’t seen your son for a year! You signed away your parental rights!” That had been the worst part. Marissa leaving Rio behind without a mother was what made Gabriel the angriest.
Marissa frowned and looked uncomfortable. “Look, I know what I did was wrong. I get it. You shouldn’t take me back. But I’m begging you. You always come back to me, so why should this time be any different?”
Gabriel shook his head. “Because I’m happy. Why did you have to show up now, of all times? I finally got my shit together. I’m working on building a real-life with somebody.”
“With Jay’s little sister?” Marissa shook her head. “Look, she’s cute. Yeah, okay. But she can’t do the things for you that I can. She’s too young for you, Papi. Too inexperienced.” Marissa paused. “And she’s not the mother of your child. Don’t you think I deserve a second chance for that? Don’t you think Rio deserves a chance at having his mother and father together?”
“You never even asked to see him, Marissa.” Gabriel shook his head. “He’s right there, inside, and all you can think about is begging me back. The very first thing I would have done is see my son.”
Marissa shrugged. “I feel weird about it. Like, he’s not going to know me as his Mama anymore.”
“You’re right. He’s not. You legally gave that right up.” Gabriel shook his head again. He couldn’t believe his luck.
“Okay, whatever. Listen, won’t you please think about it? Think about the good times we had, Papi. It wasn’t all bad times. I think I deserve one more chance.” Marissa was studying him, trying to gauge his real feelings.
Gabriel sighed. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll think about it. Just leave now.”
Marissa nodded. “I’ll come find you again in a few days and you let me know what you think.” She shrugged. “Like I said, you always come back to me.”
Gabriel watched Marissa saunter off. He didn’t mean to, but Gabriel couldn’t help paying attention to the way her firm bottom swayed side to side as she walked. He couldn’t help noticing the way it filled out her pants either.
Once she was gone, Gabriel sat on the front stoop and placed his face in his hands. He hated to admit it to himself, but there was still some kind of feeling for Marissa hidden deep inside. Likely, all that had to do with was her being the mother of his child. But, was it fair to Savannah to stay here knowing there was anything at all? At least, was it fair to stay until he knew what that something was and why he was feeling it?
Gabriel sighed loudly as Nanny came up to lay her head in his lap. He looked at the only faithful, uncomplicated woman in his life. Nanny had been by his side for so long, but one look told him she was coming up to the end of her time. That thought made him sad, and he rubbed the top of her bony head as he thought.
* * * * *
Savannah played with Rio on the living room floor after Gabriel left with Marissa. Not left. They went outside, to the front yard. She could hear their voices for quite some time, although Savannah couldn’t hear what was said. Then, everything was silent for a long time.
Although Savannah had thought Jay was in the living area, it appeared he’d gone to take a nap or something. The longer the silence stretched without Gabriel coming inside, the more intense the anxiety inside her stomach grew. Savannah couldn't focus on the tiny toys Rio and she played with.
What if Gabriel decided to go back to Marissa? The thought alone made Savannah’s heart ache. She’d waited so long to get her chance. She thought her and Gabriel could be happy together. But now this?
By the time Gabriel finally opened the door and stepped inside, Savannah was on the verge of tears. Gabriel’s face was melancholy and his eyes downcast. He sat on the couch near where Savannah played on the floor with Rio. Gabriel said nothing but stared at the two of them for the longest time. His continued silence made Savannah feel even more anxious. She would have thought Gabriel would come in and tell her everything. If he didn’t, what did that mean?
Finally, the silence stretched too long for Savannah. She spoke, even as she continued to play pretend with the tiny animals. “Gabe?” Gabriel looked at her, but still, he said nothing. His eyes searched her face and he sighed. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Gabriel finally said something, but it wasn’t what Savannah wanted to hear. “Yes. I’m going to take Rio and stay with my parents for a little while. I need to think about things, and I don’t think I can do that here. I’m sorry.”
No ‘kitten.’ No tender touch. Savannah felt her world come crashing down around her ears. Her heart pounded so hard in her chest she was afraid it might break. No, it was breaking. Her heart was breaking into a million tiny pieces and Savannah struggled to pull them together.
“But, why?” Savannah shook her head. “Are you going back with her? With Marissa?”
Gabriel shook his head. “No. I don’t think so.” He shrugged. “But seeing her made me realize some things, and I need some time alone to get my head around them.”
“Are you… are you breaking up with me?” Savannah tried to stop herself from crying and mostly succeeded. A few stray tears ran down her cheeks and her voice cracked as she spoke.
Gabriel shook his head. “No, no Savannah. It’s not like that.” His face was sad, and he did reach out now. Leaning forward, he reached out a finger and ran it down Savannah’s wet cheek. “I need a little space for a little while. I’m not breaking up with you. I’m not running off to be with Marissa again. I only need time and space. A break.”
“You want to take a break?” Savannah looked up. “Isn’t that what people do when they want to have sex with other people, Gabe? Is that what you plan to do? Have sex with Marissa again and then come back to me?”
Gabriel sighed. “Sav, please. That’s not it. Can’t you trust me?”
“How can I trust you, Gabriel? You’re deciding to move out right after she shows up, and you’re telling me you need a break.” Savannah’s face turned down to look at the floor. When she caught Rio watching her from the corner of her eye, Savannah put on a fake smile and grabbed a little plastic cow. She made small mooing sounds until Rio smiled. Savannah didn’t want him to be upset.