“Look around, Vale.” Jay sweeps an arm around the rotunda. “None of us are packing on the pounds or sneaking off behind the building for a smoke break.”
“Hypnotherapists do other things,” Nathan insists. “Ever heard of past-life regression therapy? There’s got to be a connection between the reason we keep calling each other Nate and Mercy and the dreams. Now with this Colorado History project in the mix, it seems like everything is pushing us toward finding out what that connection may be.”
“What do you think of all this, Mer?” Jay asks. “Are you buying all this new-age crap?”
I close my eyes and take several deep breaths to calm my scattered thoughts and nerves before opening my eyes. I don’t want to do this, I really don’t, but it may be the only way to help not only me but also the restless memories of Nate and Mercy. “Okay, I can’t believe I’m suggesting this. You know I wouldn’t say this if I didn’t believe it could help me, Jay, but let’s go to Psychic Square.”
Jay snorts in derision, but Nathan looks over at me. “What’s Psychic Square?”
“It’s like a whole community of psychics just outside of town,” I say. “Some people say it’s just another tourist trap, but I think if anyone can help us, someone there can. As a bonus, we might get info we can use on our project.”
“I’m in if you are,” Nathan says.
“And how do you plan to get there?” Jay leans against the staircase rail before crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you forgetting that little detail? Are you going to walk? Take the bus? I’m the only one with wheels, and I don’t like all this new-age mumbo jumbo you’re trying to feed me. Without me, you’re stuck here, and I say we’re not going to Psychic Square or anywhere with the word ‘psychic’ in it.”
“But it’s for school,” I protest.
“Get real.” Jay kicks off from the staircase and walks over to stand in front of me. His entire focus is on me. He’s already become a master of ignoring Nathan. “Do you expect me to believe that? You want to work on this project as much as I do. The past is in the past for a reason. Leave it alone.”
“Even if it affects the present?”
“Especially if it affects the present.” Jay looks over his shoulder as if he expects someone to interrupt us. I suck in my breath as I realize he’s nervous. Jay, Mr. Confident, is nervous. But of what?
I step toe to toe with Jay and wrap one arm around his neck while I use the other to turn his face back to look at me. I let my palm rest against his cheek. What is he hiding? I’ve never seen him like this before. “I know this is out of your comfort zone. I get that. I’m sorry if I’m asking too much of you, but I think this will be good for me. Maybe it will be good for all of us.”
Jay’s eyes lock with mine. He lets his curtain of bravado drop just enough for me to get a glimpse of the real boy underneath. I see a scared, insecure boy playing the part of a sports hero. My heart hurts because I’ve never gone digging for the truth in the almost five years I’ve known him. I’ve just always assumed what was on the surface was what was underneath too. Jay’s been playing a role this whole time. An image of the blond man dancing with Mercy flashes through my mind when I look at Jay. The man’s face morphs into Jay’s. Were they the same soul? Do we all have a role to play? Whether we’re Meredith, Nathan, and Jay or Mercy, Nate, and the guy who gave Mercy an engagement ring, our roles are the same. Would finding out about our possible past-life connections help us break the patterns we’re now repeating?
“Why do you want to go to Psychic Square, Meredith?” Jay asks. “Tell me the truth—and don’t just say for a good grade on your history project. I’ll take you wherever you want to go. I’d drive you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to.”
“I want to do this because, ever since I had the dream, it always seemed like a part of me was missing,” I answer. “It’s like there are pieces from a puzzle missing, and I’ve always wanted to see the whole picture. I’ve always wanted to know everything my mind is trying to tell me, but I can’t do it unless I have help. Going to Psychic Square might be the only way to help.”
“But thinking the universe is setting up all these coincidences just so you can have a dream explained? That’s a big leap of faith, Meredith. I’m more into facts and science. You know that.”
Jay pulls away from me. I hold out my hand and take a step after him before pulling back. Would he even want me to go after him? I’m far from the queen of PDA. I don’t want him to think any comfort I give is contrived to get what I want instead of sincere.
“We took that psych class, Jay,” I remind him. “You know how powerful the subconscious is.”
“Besides, nothing is random or a coincidence if you believe in fate,” Nathan adds. “I think we owe it to Meredith and to ourselves, Jay, to check this thing out. If it leads nowhere, we’ve only wasted gas on a trip to Psychic Square, and we can laugh about it later.”
I watch Jay. He’s conflicted. I see he wants to help but doesn’t want to come across as wanting to help. I think if it were just me in the mix, or even just me asking, he’d do it. But it’s not just me; there’s Nathan. Nathan is a big part of the equation, and he has been since the second he arrived on campus. For the first time ever, I bet Jay can see the potential cracks in our relationship. Promise ring or no promise ring, he may not hold on to me forever, and that scares the hell out of him.
“Please come with us to Psychic Square, Jay.” I include him, hoping to lessen some of his fears. “Please. For me?”
“Fine.” He huffs. “But you owe me.”
“Just a minute!” I call when I hear a knock on my door. I’m already running late to meet Nathan and Ritzi in the school library to work on research for our Colorado History project. I don’t need to be slowed down even more. To make matters worse, my text message alert beeps. I pick up my phone to check who it’s from. Nathan’s sent a selfie of himself surrounded by stacks of library books. He’s captioned it, wish you were here. I send a quick Be right there text back before opening my door. Ritzi is standing outside in the hall.
“Hey.” She looks down, scuffing her foot against the carpet. “I wasn’t sure if you were already down in the library. Want to walk down together?”
“Sure.” I grab my backpack and sling it over my shoulder before shutting and locking my dorm room door. At first, we walk in silence, which I’m fine with, but Ritzi is the most gregarious person I know. A silent Ritzi is just plain weird.
“What gives?” I ask as we walk through the dorms, out into the quad, and turn toward the library. “You’re never this quiet. I feel like I’ve slipped into an alternate dimension where I’m the talky one, and you’re the loner.”
Ritzi tries to smile, but it’s a half-hearted effort. “I’m just…Well, maybe I can tell you…Can you keep a secret, Meredith?”
“Can I keep a secret? Please, secrets and I are BFFs.” I make sure my tone is light to put her at ease. I don’t have many people I feel comfortable around at school. Ritzi is one. I hope she feels the same about me.