“Abigail, do you think you’ve been reincarnated to do things over too?” I ask. “You know, to learn and grow like the rest of us?”
She wrings her hands in front of her. “I don’t know, miss. I hope so.”
I gesture at the door that leads to the bathroom that separates Ritzi’s room from mine. “There’s a girl next door named Ritzi. I think you’ll find you have a lot in common with her.”
Abigail looks at the door as if trying to decide if she should go haunt Ritzi for a bit or not. “Do you really think so, miss?”
I nod. “I know so. She won’t be able to see or hear you, but you might find you have just as much of a chance of a do-over as the rest of us.”
Abigail bobs a curtsy. “Oh, thank you, miss. I shall go visit her straight away.” She floats across the room but stops and turns with one foot in the door. “Oh, and miss? I only did what I felt was right for Nate and Mercy. I thought it would push them together, not tear them apart. I hope, whatever you decide with your young men, you make the choice that is best for you and no one else.”
“Thanks, Abigail.” I smile as she fades through the door to explore her possible connection to Ritzi.
After she’s gone, I grab my phone and call Nathan. It rings ten times before going to voicemail. Now it seems it’s his turn to ignore me.
“Nathan, it’s Meredith,” I say to his voicemail. “Look, I’m really, really sorry if I pulled the Mercy-rich-girl-ice-princess routine on you last night. You’re right about the pattern thing. I am repeating things, and I told myself I didn’t care, but I do. I don’t want to keep going in circles forever. I want to grow. I want to learn. I think we need to go back to Open Closed Doors to do that. We need to find out how Mercy and Nate’s story ends. Even if there’s not a you-and-me like how you want it to be, there is a you-and-me for setting the past free. I’ll call Catalina to see when the next available appointments are. Call me when you get this, okay? I hope to talk to you soon. Bye.”
I don’t hold on to much hope of Nathan calling me back after how I treated him, but stranger things have happened. Even in Haunting.
Every text message alert and phone call send me scrambling for my phone, but none of them are from Nathan. Later in the afternoon, Jay shows up with a bag full of fast food and a promise of a picnic.
“Do we have to? I’m kind of waiting for someone to call me.” I check my phone on the off chance that Nathan decided to text me in the two seconds between the time I checked my phone last and when Jay showed up.
“But I got food.” Jay rattles the bag. “Do you seriously want to waste good food to sit on your phone all day?”
“Um, I don’t know. Maybe?” I sneak a peek at my phone again.
Jay holds out his hand. He wiggles his fingers when I just stare at it. “Come on now. Give it here. Give me your phone.” I hand it over. “You’ll spend the afternoon with me and not think about your phone once, got it?”
As much as I’d like to hear from Nathan, it would be nice not to stress about it for a couple hours and just enjoy some time with Jay. Our relationship works best when we’re alone. It’s just when everything else gets in the way things fall apart. I reach back into my room and grab my purse. “Got it. I’m yours for the entire afternoon, phone-free.”
“I hope you’re mine for longer than that.”
Jay wraps his arm around my waist as we walk, and I lean into him. I don’t know where we’re going, and I don’t really care. I just like I can forget everything about school work, projects, and past lives, and relax—even if it’s only for a couple hours. I’ll take what I can get, even if it doesn’t last.
We find a quiet spot on the quad under a tree. Jay unpacks the bag of food and hands me what he thinks I’ll like. For someone who acts oblivious, he does a good job of remembering what I order when we go out. Maybe that’s all the obliviousness is—an act.
“We should do this more often.” Jay polishes off his burger in record time before moving on to his fries. “I like hanging with you, Mer. It makes me feel peaceful. Like nothing bad in the world can touch us.”
I pick at my food. “Too bad we can’t live in a bubble forever.”
“What’s stopping us?” Jay asks. “I mean, okay, sure, there’s a lot of stuff stopping us, but those will not be factors forever.” He touches the promise ring on my right-hand ring finger. “Do you mind moving this over to the left? I want to see what it looks like.”
I do what I’m told without thinking and hold up my hand so that the sun glints off the diamond. How easy would it be just to say yes and forget about every other choice I’m expected to make? I could slide further into dutiful girlfriend-turned-fiancée mode and let Jay do all the deciding for me. It would be so easy. All it would take is one little word.
“Have you given any more thought to that?” Jay motions at the ring. “Making that permanent, I mean?”
“I didn’t know promises came with an expiration date.”
Jay realizes his mistake and backtracks. “It doesn’t. It doesn’t. I just wondered if you had thought about it, that’s all. No rush. No pressure. Just wondering.”
I move the ring back over to my right hand. “I’m happy to just keep it as a promise.” I recognize how harsh that might sound to him, so I lean over and kiss the tip of his nose to soften my words. “When that changes, you’ll be the first to know.”
“I hope so.” He wraps an arm around my shoulders, and I lean against his side. “We have a big meet next Saturday. I know you rarely like to come to my events, but it would be awesome if you could come watch this one. You’re kind of my good luck charm. I always do better when you’re there. Plus, we’re almost engaged. It gives me the chance to show you and the ring off. What do you say? Will you come?”
If I let the promise ring turn into a full-fledged engagement ring, everyone will expect me to come to sporting events and whatever other career Jay pursues after retiring from skiing. I need to get used to the idea. “Um, sure.”
Jay laughs. “You could at least try to sound enthusiastic, Mer.”
“Saturday sounds great.” I plaster on a big, cheesy grin for Jay’s benefit. “It will be fun. I’ll ride with the other ski groupies on the pep bus.”
“The pep bus?” He grimaces. “Puh-leeze. If you don’t mind getting to the course a little early, you can ride with me.”
“If you’re sure.”
“If I’m sure?” Jay rolls his eyes. “Mer, I asked you to marry me. That’s not something I take lightly. It’s not like I’m running around campus tossing out rings to every girl I see.” He cups the side of my face in one hand. “I want to spend my life with you. I’m pretty sure I can stand driving you to the ski meet.”
“How can you be so sure of everything?” The words tumble out before I can check my filter and clamp down into dutiful-girlfriend mode again.
Confusion flows across Jay’s face. “How can I be so sure of what?”
I pull back till we’re not touching. I think better that way. When we’re touching, it’s too easy to remember the easygoing, mellow Jay who will do anything for me and allow myself to be the girl who just stays quiet and never speaks her mind. “How can you be sure that you want to spend your life with me? As far as I know, you’ve dated no one else. How can you know I’m the one—the epic beginning and end of your love-life universe—if you’ve never even looked at anyone else?”