Cody drags me away but stops several times to sign autographs, and I get the stank eye from several women. I snicker at their jealousy, but my own pang of jealousy rears its ugly head when I think about him leaving and being at another competition. Will he find someone else to fulfill his needs like he did that redhead in the office? The only time he lets go of my hand is when he’s signing something, which gives me some sense of comfort, but the thoughts still dance in the back of my mind.
Cody drove us out of town and onto a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. We’re lying in the back of his truck, staring up at the stars. "Where did you find this place?" I ask quietly. It’s different from the city, and all you hear are the sounds of the crickets chirping.
"After I left you in the stands, I asked around.” I feel his eyes on me, but I keep looking at the stars. “Tell me about yourself."
"I already told you, there isn't much to tell. I'm twenty-two, graduated from college in May, have always lived here, and work at a clothing store." I'm not about to share the name of Ever's store with him.
Cody’s thumb brushes across the skin of my hand. “What about your family?”
I stiffen, not from his touch but from the mention of family. All I ever had was my mom by blood and Bulk, who treated me like his own daughter at times, while other times, he didn’t. Hell, I could have been his for all I know. My mom never knew who my father was since she was sleeping around with the whole club. "Nope, just me. That's enough about me, though.” I swivel my head in his direction. “I wanna hear about you."
"Well, it's only my mom and me back home in North Carolina. Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to ride bulls like my dad. I decided not to go to college to live out my dream. Now, here I am at twenty-four, about to make it happen."
"What happened to your dad?"
"He got killed while ridin’."
"I'm sorry." My stomach twists in knots, thinking something like that could happen to Cody. Why would he want to do the very thing that killed his father? Bikers live a dangerous life, too.
Cody sits up on one elbow, his gaze searching mine. He tucks some of the hair that’s fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. "It's fine, it was a long time ago. Do you know how beautiful you are?"
A lump forms in my throat. I can't answer. Instead of saying anything, I lay here, gaping at him. He leans in closer, his tongue slides across his bottom lip. My heart aches to feel his lips touch mine, but I can’t. I can’t allow my first kiss to be with a man I will never see again after tomorrow. At the last second, I turn my face, his mouth crashes into my cheek.
I whisper, "It's getting late, you should take me to my car." I climb out of the truck bed and into the passenger side of the truck. My nose stings as tears brim my lids. It was one fucking weekend, how could I let myself fall for someone in one damn weekend?
The whole way back, not one word is spoken between the two of us. What I wouldn’t give to know his thoughts right now, but I don’t dare speak. I’m scared of what his reaction will be. I’m terrified of saying something I shouldn’t. My stomach turns at the thought he will think I’m rejecting him. I want him more than I’ve ever desired anything, but I have to protect myself. If I hand him all I have to offer, even for one night, I will be destroyed when he’s gone.
During the ride, I’ve kept my head leaning against the cool glass of the window, and a million thoughts invade my mind, and my emotions run rampant. How do I do this? How do I step out of his truck and let him go? How do I allow him to leave tomorrow?
Cody drops his hand on my thigh. “I don’t know what happened back there, but I’m sorry.”
My head snaps up to look in his direction. “You’re sorry? What do you have to apologize for? I’m the one that should be saying sorry.”
He shrugs his shoulder. “I don’t know, Sonya. Look, I’m gettin’ mixed signals here. At times I think you want me, and then like a switch, it’s flipped, and you’re pushin’ me away. I don’t want you doin’ anything you don’t wanna do.”
“It’s not that I don’t want…” I abruptly shut my mouth. “I gotta go.” I rush out of his truck and quickly jump into my car. My hands shake as I find my keys and try to get the ignition started. I peel away before Cody has a chance to try and stop me.
"It's about fucking time you got here, Shug. I've been waiting too fucking long for your pretty little ass to show up." Ghost’s words slur, telling me he’s already wasted as I enter the bar at the clubhouse.
I roll my eyes. "Well, I'm here now." I can hear some of the other girls talking shit, and I spin on my heels to face them. "You got something you wanna say?"
Lilly huffs, clearly annoyed, "I just think it's funny how you got them waiting for you when you don't even want to be here."
I snicker. "What, are you jealous, Lilly?"
Her mocking laughter rings out. "What would I have to be jealous of?"
"Well, since you're sitting here, running your mouth,” I pause, glancing over my shoulder at a smirking Ghost. I point my thumb toward him, and continue, "Ghost here has been waiting for me like you said. I think that says everything on its own."
"You're a bitch sometimes, you know that, Shug?" Lilly gives me a disgusted expression, sneering at me. Her lip curl reminds me of Elvis.
"Yeah.” I nod in agreement. “I think you need to go fill that mouth of yours with a fat cock. Mind your business, Lilly, before you end up like Jasmine or Morgan." Jasmine disappeared one day. I have no doubt that the Sinners did something to her. She wanted Hanger bad, and when he got with his Ol’ Lady, Zoey, Jasmine went crazy. As for Morgan, she got the shit beat out of her by Jacey, Bear’s Ol’ Lady, for trying to mess with him. You want to stay in the good graces of the Ol’ Ladies and stay the fuck away from their men. Don’t be disrespectful. There are lots of single men to go after, leave the taken ones alone, or you’re going to be asking for trouble. That’s one difference between the rest of these whores and me, I know my place.
Lilly hisses, "Fuck you, Shug."
My eyes widen in fake horror. "Is that all you got?” I smirk, stepping closer to her on the couch. My voice lowers as words spew from my mouth, “Why don't you take your skanky ass somewhere else? Do something with your motherfucking life instead of on your back or knees with your pussy and mouth wide open, begging, and waiting. Stop sitting here in your pathetic little fantasy that one day you’re going to become an Ol' Lady, because, honey, it ain't ever gonna happen. You're just a sorry ass bitch that's gonna be sitting here forever while every single one of these guys passes you up when they find something better." With those words, Ghost pulls me away while I huff and puff in anger. I really want to go back there and twat punch the fuck outta Lilly.
He shuts the door behind us, I automatically begin pulling my clothes off before lying on the bed. "God, she pisses me off. All of them do."
As Ghost is removing his clothes, he says, "Don't go thinking you’re better than them, Shug. Just 'cause you have other shit going on in your life doesn't mean a thing. You're still here, naked, lying in my bed with your legs spread open. You're still a whore like them."