Her eyes search mine before she speaks, "Fuck, I'm gonna miss you, too. So much.” She hits my arm playfully. “You better call me!"
Releasing her cheeks, my hands snake around her waist. "You gonna say you’ll be mine before I ride off into the sunset like all those cowboys before me?” I tug her closer, as close as I can get her.
Her cheek rests against my chest. “I’ll say let’s see what happens after you’re gone.”
Grinning, I nod. “I can accept that.” My lips gently meet the crown of her head. More than anything, I wish she’d ask me to kiss her, but she doesn't. I release her and step up into the driver’s seat of my truck. With one last glance, she shuts the door. I keep my eyes on Sonya as I put the key in the ignition. Her head is bowed, and she not looking at me.
Pulling away slowly, I focus on the rearview mirror, watching as Pudge and Sonya hug and comfort each other. My eyes drift between the mirror and road until I can no longer see them. Jake’s phone begins to ring. He quickly answers and shouts, “Go back, man.”
My attention cuts toward him for a moment, and I furrow my brow in confusion. "What?"
"Go back!" he yells louder inside the truck, making my ears ring. I find a driveway to quickly turn around in, and I head back.
When we park, I open my door and step out. Sonya runs up to me, she fists my t-shirt tightly her knuckles turn white. "I couldn't let you leave yet."
My heart gallops inside my chest. "Why?"
A smile tugs at her lips. "Because I need you to kiss me." I stare at her, wondering if I heard her right. I can't seem to move.
Blinking my eyes a couple of times, I ask, "What?" Her giggle seeps into my heart.
She repeats the words I’ve longed to hear, "Kiss me."
Those two little words, “Kiss me.” Just two simple words, but they feel like the two most important words I’ve ever spoken in my life. They fell from my lips effortlessly, and yet they hold a lot of power, hope, strength. The power for me to control my life, hope for a future I only dreamed of, and the strength I need to become the woman I wish to be. Those two words felt right saying to Cody.
As I watched him drive away, a deep aching pain pounded in my chest, and a twisting discomfort settled in my stomach. Regret. I knew that feeling all too well from the clubhouse, but this was different. I couldn’t let him leave without that kiss. I would always have those lingering questions in my mind and the what-ifs. So, I had Pudge call Jake and tell them to turn around. I couldn’t let him drive thousands of miles away without getting my first kiss from the first guy who showed me what love could really be like. Cody was my first date, and the boy the girl fell for in such a short amount of time. Cody was the first man who wanted more than just my body.
Staring at the cowboy in front of me, he blinks several times, processing what I told him, but once it registers, one of his hands snakes around to the back of my neck while the other settles on my hip. He pulls me closer, and my heart beats at a rapid-fire pace as his lips descend to mine. The first touch is soft yet electric. Throwing my arms around his neck, I mold my body to his and follow his lead moving in sync with him. My lips part, welcoming the intrusion of his tongue. I feel the crashing waves of lust, and I’m dizzy with desperation for this man. We explore each other’s mouths as our tongues dance. I never want this to end, but it has to.
Cody bends slightly, his hands gripping my thighs while he lifts me. My legs wrap around his waist, and suddenly, my back hits his truck. My world is shattering in every good way possible as we stay tangled together. Goosebumps dance along my flesh from the feel of his lips touching mine.
The horn blares scaring the shit out of me, and I break away from Cody. “Goddamn it, Jake!” Cody grumbles while I try to get my heart under control. It’s beating quickly, too quickly.
Jake chuckles. “It seemed to me y’all were ‘bout to get it on out here. Thought I’d save y’all the embarrassment.”
I bury my head in Cody’s chest, and a burst of laughter bubbles out of me.
Cody’s lips find my ear, his hot breath wafts across my skin as he whispers, “The sun is starting to set. I have to go.”
Lifting my gaze, my tear-filled eyes meet his. I nod and swallow hard. The lump in my throat keeps me from speaking. His hands rub up and down my arms, and his lips press against the crown of my head again.
“This isn’t goodbye.” He pulls away from me, his words sounding definite, but those seeds of doubt stay tucked away in the back of my mind. This is too good to be true. How long will it be before only talking on the phone isn’t enough anymore?
I wrap my arms around myself to seek comfort and rid myself of the empty feeling that’s covering me. Pudge moves to stand next to me and puts her head on my shoulder as Cody and Jake both jump back into the truck. We quietly watch them until we can no longer see their taillights in the distance. Wetness trails down my cheeks, and I no longer have the strength to even try and wipe them away.
“C’mon.” Pudge hugs me tighter with her own tears falling. “Let’s go pig out on some junk food.”
As I’m walking back toward the apartment, I can’t help except look over my shoulder with the hope they’ll be sitting there even though I know they’re gone.
We’re not even in the apartment five minutes, I only got one bite of ice cream, when the sound of pounding on the door begins. Pudge’s head snaps in my direction as mine darts toward her, both of our eyes are wide with uncertainty. “Do you think they came back?” Pudge asks, hope lacing her tone.
“I don’t know.” My own hope engulfs me as we jump from the couch. I follow behind as she moves closer to the door. Once she opens it, my head flies back as I’d been slapped. “Chayser, what are you doing here?”
His head shifts this way and that until his squinted eyes find mine. “Hanger wants to see you.”
My pulse pounds in my ears, and I swallow hard. “Why?”
He arches an eyebrow. “Shug, come on now, you know why. You’re not answering your phone. He had Hacker track you. Got the address and sent me here.”
“I’ll take my car.” I step away from the door, but his shaking head stops me in my tracks.
“Can’t let you do that. I was told I have to bring you.”
Pudge declares, “I’m coming!”
“No!” Chayser and I shout.
Pudge’s mouth opens and closes while her eyes drag between the both of us. She stomps closer, her glare settling on Chayser. “But what if something happens?”
“I’ll be fine, Pudge,” I tell her a truth that I can only have faith is real.
I leave the apartment, and as I shut the door, he demands, “What the fuck happened to your face, Shug?”
“Don’t fucking worry about it. Take me to the club so I can get it over with. What’s Hanger gonna do to me?”
Chayser straddles his Harley. “He only wants to talk.”
“I’m sure.” I grouse and roll my eyes while climbing on behind him. Once I grip his waist tightly, he speeds away.
Hanger leans against the edge of his desk with his arms and ankles crossed. My gaze is cast downward, and I chew on my lip, waiting for him to speak. He sighs heavily. “What the fuck were you thinking, Shug? You shot one of my men, a member of this club, a brother!”