“Before we go inside,” she said, “you should probably prepare yourselves. Mrs. Bennet underwent lifesaving surgery. There’s going to be a lot of wires and tubes, but they are all there to help her, okay?”
“I’d like to see my wife now.” I winced at how cold Dad sounded but if it affected the nurse, she didn’t show it.
I guessed she was used to seeing people at their very worst in a place like this.
She pushed open the door and led us inside. “She’s looks more peaceful than I expected,” the words came out choked as I moved to stand beside her. “Hey, Mom, I’m right here.” I went to take her hand, hesitating when I noticed the central line disappearing into her skin.
“It’s okay, Asher, you can hold her hand.”
Gently grasping her hand in mine, I let my eyes run over her features, swallowing the huge sob building in my throat.
“I’ll give you some time. If you need anything just press the buzzer.”
“Thank you,” I said, aware of how still Dad was.
The nurse left us in silence. Nothing but the gentle hum and steady bleep of the machines helping to keep Mom stable.
“This is on you, Son,” Dad’s voice didn’t waver. He didn’t yell or breakdown and cry. He was completely and utterly devoid of anything.
Yet, I knew it was an act. Another performance where he refused to let me see his true feelings.
“Dad, I—”
“You brought that girl and her thug boyfriend into our lives. I told you... I told you she would ruin you.”
Guilt wrenched through me, squeezing my heart like a vise. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“But it did.” Disappointment drenched his words. “Your mom may never recover from this, and for what? Because you wanted to prove a point and date the Hernandez girl.”
That wasn’t it at all. But words failed me. It was hard to argue with him when Mom was lying there hooked up to machines because of Jermaine. A guy who never would have entered our lives if it wasn’t for Mya.
Pain splintered through me. I didn’t think it was possible to feel more hurt than I had when I saw Dad cradling Mom’s body, blood covering her, fear shining in her eyes. But I was slowly realizing there wasn’t a limit on how much agony a person could feel. I hadn’t only almost lost Mom tonight, I’d lost Mya too. The one person who made everything seem brighter was now the one person who would forever be a reminder of this moment. Of standing here and watching my mom lifeless and pale in a hospital bed.
I pushed all thoughts of Mya out of my head. Right now, I needed to concentrate on my family.
“I need to make a call,” Dad said suddenly, pacing across the room. “I trust you’ll stay with her?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll be back.” His tone was cold, sending chills up my spine.
I dropped into the chair beside Mom and let my head fall back, closing my eyes. The last four hours felt like a bad dream. People in Rixon didn’t get shot. But it wasn’t a dream, and Mom had been shot by my girlfriend’s ex. It was hard to believe that only a couple of days ago I was planning our future and now I couldn’t think past the next hour or the one after that.
My cell phone vibrated, and I pulled it out of my pocket, wincing at the blood still streaked over my hands.
Mom’s blood.
* * *
Mya: Felicity said your mom is stable. That’s good, Ash... really good. I’m thinking of you both. You know where I am if you need me xo
* * *
I stared at the screen for a couple of seconds, before powering it off and placing it on the small nightstand. My head wasn’t in the right place to deal with Mya, not yet. Things were different now, I knew that. She had to know too. But I didn’t want to say something I might regret later down the line.
Running a hand over my face, I dropped my weary gaze to Mom again. It was inconceivable how someone who looked so peaceful could be walking the thin line between life and death.
“You have to pull through,” I whispered, the words ripping out my heart. “I need you, Mom. I need you.”
She was the one redeeming thing about our family, the glue that bound our fragile state together. Without her, we would be nothing.
Tears rolled down my face as I let my worst fears take hold.
She had to pull through.
Because if she didn’t, the hole she would leave behind would be irreparable.
Four days.
I sat by my mom’s side for four days, waiting, hoping, praying the doctors would give us the news we wanted to hear.
But four days passed and nothing changed.
Her condition was stable, but the doctors didn’t want to prematurely wake her for fear of sustained damage to her brain from the severe blood loss.
“Hey, man,” Cam slipped into the room, bringing me a fresh coffee. I’d lived on the stuff since I figured everyone would frown if I sat here drowning my sorrows at the bottom of a bottle of whisky.
“Thanks.” I sipped at the cup, barely tasting it.
“How is she?”
“The same.” I rubbed my face. “It’s weird, you know. I’ve been used to not having her around much. But this is fucking torture. Knowing she’s right there but might never...” I swallowed down the swell of tears.
“She’ll come through this, Ash.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I could feel the darkness edging into my thoughts. I wanted to be positive; to listen when the doctors said it was the best-case scenario right now. But it was so fucking hard when she was just lying there, unmoving. Motionless.
Lifeless.
“The team all send their thoughts. They all want to come show their support, but Coach told them to hold off until you’re ready.”
“I’m not,” I rushed out. “I appreciate it, I do, but I’m not ready for them to be here. You and Jase are different, but not the rest of the team, not yet.”
“I get it. But just know she’s in everyone’s thoughts. You both are.”
“Thanks, man.”
“How’s your dad handling it?”
“You’d have to ask him,” I grumbled.
“That bad, huh?”
“We haven’t exactly talked much. He blames me.”
“Come on, Ash, that’s… It wasn’t your fault.”
“No?” My brow rose. “If I hadn’t gotten with Mya, Jermaine would never have—”
“You can’t think like that, and you can’t change the past.” He gave me a pointed look but I couldn’t bear his sympathy. The pity in his eyes. “Have you spoken to her?” he asked.
“She texted me a few times but honestly, she is the least of my worries right now.”
“Asher,” he let out a heavy sigh. “That isn’t fair and you know it.”
“Fair?” I scoffed, making a strangled sound in my throat. “None of this is fucking fair. My mom was innocent, Cam. She shouldn’t be the one lying there.”
“No one should be lying there,” he said calmly. “And I’m so sorry it happened, I am. But you love her, man. What happened doesn’t change that.”