“Is there liquor?” I asked, already feeling the numbing effects of the liquor wearing off.
“Her dad might have a beer or two in the refrigerator, but I think you’ve had enough.”
“I’ll have had enough when I pass out and forget the shitshow that is my life.”
He rolled his eyes, shouldering the car door and climbing out. I didn’t really want to see Felicity. But it was better than sitting at home, listening to the chime of the clock, the whir of refrigerator. Listening to every-fucking-thing that wasn’t the phone ringing with news of Mom.
Cussing under my breath, I got out of the Dodge Charger and followed Jase up the Giles’ driveway. He knocked and seconds later, the door swung open.
“You look like shit,” she said to me, the pity in her eyes too much to bear.
“Hello to you too,” I replied, suddenly a lot less drunk than I was two minutes ago.
“Well, don’t stand out here all night. The neighbors will talk.” She beckoned me inside. Jason stood back, leaning against the wall. No doubt watching with amusement as Flick treated me like a naughty schoolboy.
The second I stepped inside, she pulled me into her arms, hugging me. “You’re okay,” she whispered. “You’re going to be okay.” I let myself take her offer of comfort. It was stupid but I needed a woman’s touch.
I needed my mom.
Bile rushed up my throat, but I swallowed it down. “Thank you,” I managed to croak out, finally untangling myself from Felicity’s arms.
“I would have come to the hospital again, but Jason said…”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I just… it’s hard.”
“I know.” She gave me a sad smile. “But if you ever need me, all you have to do is call.”
“I think Jase might have something to say about that.” The corner of my mouth tipped. It was the first joke I’d cracked in days.
“Nah, man.” Jase shut the door and came around to stand beside Flick. “We’re here for you, whatever you need.”
“Does your dad have any whisky?” I asked Felicity. “I could really use whisky right about now.”
“Asher, that isn’t going to help.” She frowned. “But I have some homemade cookies.”
My stomach rumbled. “The ones with the chocolate chips?”
“Come on, let’s see what I can find.”
Jase came over and slung his arm around my shoulder. “Everything is going to be okay, Ash,” he said as if he truly believed the words.
I only wished I could believe them too.
“Where have you been?” I growled at my father as he entered Mom’s room. It felt more familiar than our house lately, but then I had spent every waking minute here. Until the nurses began insisting I left to shower and eat and do all the things I needed to do to take care of myself. But I didn’t care about myself.
I cared about the woman sleeping in the bed. Except, she wasn’t sleeping, not really.
Dad fussed with his tie and I knew exactly where he’d been. “Work,” I snapped. “You’ve been working.”
“Watch your tone, Son,” he said. “Business doesn’t just stop because…” His eyes flicked to Mom, the blood draining from his face. “How is she?”
Surprised at his reluctance to argue with me, I replied, “The same. The doctors said they’re thinking of waking her soon but it’s still too early to know what sustained damage there is.”
“You spoke with the doctors?” It was his turn to look surprised.
“Well they couldn’t speak with you since you weren’t here.”
“Asher, please.” He walked around the bed and leaned down to press a kiss to Mom’s head. It was funny, watching him treat her as something fragile and precious. Dropping into the chair opposite me, he clutched Mom’s hand in his. “It’s this place… I can’t…”
“I know.” But whereas Dad chose to run, I chose to stay.
I would always stay.
It’s what made us so different.
“How do you do it? Sit here, day in, day out, watching her as if she might wake up at any second, knowing she won’t?”
“She gave up everything for me,” I bit out. “It’s the least I can do for her.”
“Son, I want you to know—”
The door creaked open and both our heads snapped up to see who was entering.
“Mya,” her name fell from my lips in a whoosh of air.
“You.” Dad shot out of his chair. “You have no right to be here,” he yelled.
Mya’s eyes went wide, darting between us. “I- I should go. This was a mistake.”
“You’re damn right it was; you’ve caused enough pain already,” my father seethed at her, spittle flying from his mouth. But he didn’t approach her. Thank fuck, he didn’t approach her. I couldn’t bear the thought of him laying one hand on her.
Inhaling a shaky breath, I moved around the bed, putting myself between him and Mya. “Give me a minute, Dad,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on her. She slipped out of the room, and I followed, ignoring Dad’s grumbles of disapproval.
Mya didn’t wait. She kept walking, hurrying down the hall.
“Wait.” I grasped her arm, pulling her around. “What are you doing here?”
“I came…” Her voice wavered, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “For you, Asher. You won’t return my calls or texts. I haven’t seen you in days. I just needed to know you were okay.”
“You can’t be here,” I said, still stunned she was even here after the way I’d dismissed her before. I’d ignored her for the best part of two weeks. Yet, she was here. Standing in front of me, silently begging me to let her in.
Fuck.
I fisted my thigh.
She smothered a sob, turning from me to walk away, but I grabbed her arm again, pulling her to the side. “I didn’t mean…” Shit, what did I mean?
“I just had to know the truth.” Mya’s expression was crestfallen.
“The truth? I don’t understand.”
“I just needed to look you in the eye and see it.” Silent tears ran down her cheeks now, gutting me in a way I hadn’t been prepared for. “You used to look at me with such adoration. But now you look at me like you can’t stand to be around me… like you blame me. And I get it, I do. There is nothing more I wish than to take your mom’s place. But I can’t change what happened. I can’t do anything. So instead of sitting at my aunt’s, driving myself crazy with worry over you, I had to come and see for myself.”
“Mya, that’s not fair—”
“None of this is fair.” She gave a small shrug. “I’m going to testify, Asher. I want you to know I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you and your family get justice for what happened. But I’m not going to cling onto the hope that things between us will ever heal. I can’t.”
I dragged a hand down my face, trying to process everything she was saying. “You’re breaking up with me?” Disbelief coated my words.
“You can’t break up with someone you already lost, and I lost you the second that gun went off.” Pain flashed in her eyes and I wanted to do something—anything—to take it away. But it was like my head and heart were at war. My heart knew how special she was, how much we needed her. But my head; my stupid, foolhardy head, looked at Mya and saw Jermaine. Jermaine holding a gun up at my parents, at me. Saw my mom bleeding out, cradled in my dad’s arms.