Katie and Jess’s eyes light up but Carmen laughs.
“Girls like us don’t need to act like going without boys will be more fun. That’s just what girls who can’t get guys say to make themselves feel better,” Carmen says. “Hard pass for me.”
Katie plays with the bracelet on her wrist again before she realizes what she’s doing.
“What, Katie?” Carmen snaps.
“Nothing,” she says, her hands flying underneath the table. “Ella’s idea just sounded like it could be fun,” she says in a whisper.
Then Jess comes to her rescue. “Plus, I’d rather go with each other than some rando just to have a date.”
She looks at me to chime in too.
But I hesitate. The anger in Carmen’s eyes has changed to pure shock. “You can still go with Anthony, obviously,” I say. “I just don’t think I want to go with any of his friends. And besides, we’re all going to dance with each other. The date is really just for the pictures beforehand—”
“You mean the most important part,” Carmen interrupts.
“Debatable,” I say, but I don’t actually want to have that argument right now.
Suddenly, I’m relieved that Andy doesn’t go to the same school as us. I’m sure if I wanted to go with him, Carmen would be having an even bigger fit right now. I remember how she called him a nerd that one time she saw him in the library. She shakes her head at me now in the same disgusted way she did when she saw us together.
“I was just looking out for my best friends,” Carmen says. “Don’t come crying to me when the three of you change your minds and the good dates are all taken,” she says.
I give her a small smile to ease the tension of the table. “We won’t.”
But I regret it immediately when Carmen squints at me while pursing her lips—she’s going to snap.
“I’m surprised you don’t want to go with anyone, considering.”
I take the bait. “Considering what?”
“I don’t know. All of this is starting to feel a little like déjà vu. You didn’t have a date last year and left early for a reason.”
“Carmen,” Jess snaps as I see Katie moving her hands rapidly underneath the table. “You did not just say that.”
“I wasn’t implying that something bad is going to happen. I’m just saying it’s a weird coincidence,” Carmen says, turning from her to me, eyes flashing. “Don’t you think?”
“I didn’t put two and two together,” I say back.
But now that I am, I can’t help but think of Sydney at the nail salon. How I found out Carmen and I weren’t together like always right before the dance. Carmen said it was because I was being a bad friend, but at this second, I’m finding that hard to believe. “Is this why you were mad at me last year too?” I ask. “Because I didn’t go with Pete?”
Jess and Katie look at each other nervously.
“How did you know I was mad at you before the dance?” Carmen asks. “I never told you that. Did either of you?” Carmen asks, turning to Katie and Jess. They shake their heads.
“Why are you avoiding the question?” I ask in disbelief. What was she trying to hide that from me for?
“No, I wasn’t just mad at you because you didn’t have a date.”
Just? So that was part of the reason. Are you kidding me? What was the other? My face must show my anger, though, because Carmen gets defensive.
“Don’t turn this on me,” she says. “This was literally a year ago—not my fault you can’t remember.”
It’s not just what she says but how she says it that makes me stand up at the table. Jess flinches as my chair screeches on the cafeteria floor.
“You’re right,” I say. “It doesn’t matter why I was mad at you last year. Just that I’m furious with you right now.”
Then I walk away from the table that Carmen so carefully chose for us. Her mouth is now fully open. Maybe this was déjà vu for Carmen, but it’s the first time I’m standing up to her and her impossible standards…and it feels good.
Chapter 21
I never imagined going to the Valentine’s Day Dance with my sister and Skeevy Stevey, but there have been crazier things that have happened to me.
I text Andy a selfie after I’m dressed. A lot of girls will be wearing red or hot pink dresses, but I choose a black halter that hides the scar on my collarbone. I love it, and I smile when I hit send.
Andy texts back a series of emojis with a simple message that makes my heart jump.
Wow. You look beautiful.
We’ve been texting a lot lately—so much that I haven’t minded the fact that I haven’t received a paper heart in over a week. Andy is always full of sweet things to say, but this one in particular makes me smile. I type back.
That’s just a preview. My parents will be taking photos of me and Ashley before we go pick up Steve.
Good call. That way you won’t have to crop Steve out when they break up.
I laugh as I read it, because at the same time, I hear Ashley whining my name from the bathroom.
Fair point. I’ll text you more pics soon.
When I head to the bathroom my jaw drops. This is the first time I’ve seen Ashley in a color other than black in months. She’s wearing a red strapless dress and matching red lipstick, but her mouth is currently in a pout.
“What’s wrong? You look great,” I say.
“You don’t need to lie to me,” she says dramatically. “Of course I would have a bad hair day today of all days.”
“What’re you talking about?” She has curled her hair, which is a nice change since normally it’s pin-straight.
“Are you sure? I can’t see the back, and I feel like I missed some pieces.” She turns around and I see that she’s not wrong. I grab the hot iron from the bathroom counter. “Let me help,” I say. She stands still as I loop the first strand around the metal clamp.
“Why are you so much better at this than me?” she whines.
“A lot of practice,” I laugh. “Remember how me and Carmen would wear gloves when we first started because we kept burning ourselves?” I stop, realizing Jess or Katie is probably doing her hair right now.