Layne sank down in the chair near the window. “That’s great. I know you miss him.”
I crossed the room and sat on the edge of my bed. “I do. He’s my best friend, and my heart is broken over what happened. I know he needs me to be strong, though.”
“Sometimes being supportive of someone means grieving together. You can’t limit the time on the process.”
“No, nor would I. At least not on purpose. I was just hoping he would be able to come back home. I mean here.”
Layne’s eyes flickered with compassion. “Can I see you later tonight?”
A smile eased across my face. “I’ll be home around eight thirty if you want to come over.”
He stood and held his hand out to me. In one swift motion, he pulled me off the bed and flush against his muscular body. “I’ll be here.” His head dipped down, and his lips brushed across mine.
“Are you for real?” I whispered, afraid I was breaking the moment.
A raspy chuckle rumbled through his chest. “You better believe it.” He deepened his kiss, and everything around me floated away as I melted into him.
I wanted to ask him where our relationship was headed, but I didn’t want to push him due to my desperate need for parameters, but I’d also lost too much to chance in my life already. This conversation was meant for my bestie.
12
I thanked the Uber driver and stepped out of the car. There weren’t many brick homes in Spokane, but Michael and Marilyn owned one. It was a mansion. Well-trimmed hedges lined the sidewalk. The maple trees had turned a gorgeous red, and the sunlight provided a gold halo around the leaves. Autumn was breathtaking.
My black midcalf boots scuffed the steps as I approached the front door. For whatever reason, my heart was pounding double time. I had no idea why. I’d been to Benji’s childhood home a lot. Maybe it was the realization that I would see him in a wheelchair, or maybe it would finally dawn on me that he wasn’t moving back in with us. Regardless, I needed to put on my brave face and be there for him. I rang the doorbell and waited.
Marilyn opened the door and waved me in. “Hi, hon!”
I stepped foot into the marble entrance and gently closed the heavy mahogany door behind me. The sunlight glistened off the chandelier from the window, casting light in every direction.
Marilyn looked stunning in her black slacks and red blouse. The only reason I knew something was amiss was because of the circles beneath her brown eyes. “We’ve missed you so much,” she said, wrapping me in a warm embrace.
“You too.”
We released each other, and she hung up my jacket in the closet. Suddenly self-conscious, I smoothed my navy-blue sweater and skinny jeans. Marilyn was so classy, and I often felt underdressed around her. “How is he?” I asked softly in case Benji was nearby.
A conflicted look pained her face while she took a moment to collect her words. “Some days are better than others. He wants to hurry the healing process along and get adjusted, but there’s no such thing. You can’t rush the recovery, no matter how difficult it is.”
“I would too. I’d do everything in my power to figure out my new normal and whatever that looked like.”
“Don’t let him talk you into anything you don’t want to do, like move back with you and Avery.” She touched her pointer finger on my nose and grinned. “I made coffee and lunch. Benji will order something for you guys to eat later.” Her heels tapped against the floor as I followed her into the kitchen.
No matter how many times I’d been inside Benji’s house, I was always overwhelmed by the beauty of it. The marble entryway flowed into a hall that passed the hand-carved stair railing leading upstairs, but now there was a lift for Benji. Marilyn and Michael’s bedroom was on the main floor along with the living room, dining room, formal dining room, kitchen, and home office. White triple-crown molding accentuated every room, including the upstairs.
I didn’t miss the rearranged furniture in the living room as I passed by. I assumed that wouldn’t be the only space that had been reorganized to accommodate Benji’s needs.
We entered the black-and-tan granite-and-stone kitchen. As always, it was immaculate. The stainless-steel fridge hummed quietly in the background as my gaze immediately landed on Benji’s. He looked as gorgeous as ever in his navy-blue-and-white-striped polo and jeans. His eyes had lost some of the spark they’d held before the attack, but I had expected more signs of his emotional and physical trauma. Overwhelmed with emotion, I didn’t give a fuck if he was in a wheelchair or not. I flew across the room and wrapped my arms around him. He laughed and pulled me into his lap. Normally, I would have been embarrassed to sit on a guy’s lap in front of his parents, but this was the best way to get close to Benji, so I didn’t protest.
“Hi, babe.” He placed his hand against my cheek and flashed me his million-dollar smile.
“I miss you so fucking bad,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face.
“God, you too.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips, and I laid my head on his shoulder.
“Am I hurting you?” I prepared to hop off his lap if I was.
“Nope, it’s all good.” He tightened his arms around me, holding me while I sniffled. “Mom and Dad left the room to give us some privacy.”
My head popped up off his shoulder, and I placed both hands on his cheeks. “I just want to sit here with you all day. I can’t describe the hole in my heart since you’ve not been at home, Benji.” I hiccupped on the words, my tears running faster. “I should have told you not to park behind the comedy club. I should have fought harder when we were attacked. I should have—”
Benji placed his finger over my mouth. “Shh. It’s okay, Ten. I don’t blame you at all. It wasn’t your fault. We’ve parked there before without any problems. Unfortunately, my attention was on Thomas and it never occurred to me it wasn’t safe. Hell, I even blamed myself, but I’m not going to waste my time. Nothing I did gave those monsters permission to hurt us like they did. Not one damned thing.”
Relief washed over me. I was so proud of Benji for not blaming himself. In my mind, he’d done nothing wrong. Maybe if he wasn’t torturing himself, I could forgive myself as well.
“Thomas.” A growl escaped me. “Has he reached out to you at all?”
“Yeah, but I told him I wasn’t interested in talking to him.”
“Because of your wheelchair or because he’s a full-on scummy, slimy douchebag?”
Benji cleared his throat. “Honestly? Both. You’re the first person I’ve seen other than my parents.” Sadness clung to his words.
“Don’t you ever tell me you won’t see me again. Under no circumstances will I accept that, Benji Parker! It’s been hell for you, and I get that, but dammit, don’t you ever leave me like that again.” New tears spilled down my face while I chastised him, feeling slightly guilty for making the issue about my feelings.
“I know. And part of it was the pain pills. I was loopy as fuck, but I promise I won’t shut you out again. If I’d been honest with myself, I needed you. I needed you next to me in bed, talking to me, helping me rebuild my future. I was scared and ashamed.”