“She wants him to be a part of this, so I’m trying, okay? I got Darius up here, punched him a few times, and then told him I wouldn’t get in their way. As long as it didn’t interfere with his job.” He flops down on the sofa, as he pulls at his hair, and I think I may be in shock.
“You know, I wasn’t expecting it. I was hoping you wouldn’t get him fired, but to actually agree to let her keep him… you must really care about her.” I sit beside him and pass him a cigarette. He hasn’t smoked for two years, not that it stops him from taking it.
“I want her to be happy, and of course I fucking care. I don't know if I would call it love, but when she said that she loved me, fuck. It undid me, man, I just wasn’t expecting it. It doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind entirely. I’m still playing to win. Come May, I'm going to propose and if she says yes, then it will just be me and her. But if this will make her happy until then, so be it.” He side eyes me before disappearing outside, and I groan because I know he isn’t going to let me smoke in here. Two days, this is going to suck.
Although, if he thinks playing to win means letting her have us for now, and then taking us away, then he’s already lost.
44
Living A Dream
Luna
“Do you even know what you want to cook, Snowflake?”
“Nope, haven’t got a clue. I’m just happy to be outside with you. Without having to worry about one of them getting suspicious,” I say quietly, still unsure if there are any ears listening in.
“He sent us to the market. Believe me, he knows nothing is going to happen.” He smiles at me though, and I feel like my whole insides are lighting up.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m happy to take what I can get.” We smile like fools, as he places his hand on the small of my back and steers me over towards the meat.
“Choose what you want, and then I’ll get you back. They know now, so it will be okay. As long as I do my job first, there won’t be any issues, I hope.” He rolls his eyes, and I snort, before choosing some pork chops and then moving over to the vegetables.
“Don’t worry, mountain man, there’s only two months left to go. Then it won’t even matter.” I pat him on the chest, before grabbing what I want, and heading back to the car.
“Do you know what you’re going to do about the guys once you leave?”
“I have no clue, I think I just need to play it by ear, and hope for the best. I’m not going to rely on everything panning out the way I want it to. Even if none of them want to see me again once all is said and done, I know I’ll be okay. I’ll miss them and it will hurt for a long while, but I’m not going to stop living my life because reality didn’t seem as fun as fantasy.” I smile sadly, and he lowers his head to mine.
My breath catches in my throat, but he simply opens my door. His body presses against mine, before he steps back, and gives me enough room to slide in.
He slides behind the wheel and shifts into gear. It’s quiet, peaceful, between us. Words are rarely needed when it’s just us two. His company is enough to settle my nerves, even if his face is covered in mottled bruising, and I know it was Emmet who put them there. However, it was also his idea for me and Darius to go to the market alone. Maybe he is warming up to the idea, would it be foolish to let my heart and soul, really every part of my being, hope that I could keep them? All five of them.
“What’s going on in that head of yours, Snowflake? You seem a million miles away.” His voice is soft, and it amazes me that this rugged, mountain of a man can speak so softly.
“What do you think will happen when May rolls around? Do you think I’ll have to say goodbye to everyone?” I chew on the inside of my lip as I stare out of the windshield.
He clasps my hand and pulls it onto his lap, holding it tight, as he strokes his thumb across the back of it.
“I don’t know, darlin’. It isn’t something that is easy to predict. People won’t understand what you have with us, but it doesn’t mean it can’t or shouldn’t happen. Out there though? Everything is different. Feelings could warp and change.” He draws my hand to his mouth and kisses each one of my knuckles.
“I know things will be different, I think it will be better. For one thing, I will be free to act and think however I want, within reason, of course.” I smile at him, and his is full of meaning that I don’t dare decipher just yet. “I think I could be happier, and I know I will be with you.”
“I won’t let anything stand in your way, not even us. I promise you, Luna Carter, no matter what happens. You will get out of the Academy and live the life you desire, no matter the cost.” His eyes are hard, and his words fill me with this ominous and foreboding sensation that threatens to pull me under.
I know he’s saying it to reassure me, but really, it’s scaring the ever living fuck out of me. It’s almost as though he suspects something, and although I want to know what it is, I won’t push him to reveal anything. I have to trust that he will tell me when he’s ready, which means I now know the perfect thing to say to Emmet.
Emmet is in his office as I get started on the roasted pork chops, with parsnips and potatoes, and a shit ton of vegetables. Plus my own homemade glaze, which should hopefully go down a treat.
“I have a present for you,” Aeron breathes the words against my ear, as his tongue slips out to glide across it. I shiver, as my back bends to lean against him.
He puts a baggie down on the counter, before waggling his eyebrows. I try to stifle my laugh, but I’m not succeeding, at all.
“Seriously, you want me to make you some edibles?” I arch a brow, and he smirks at me, before spinning me around and sliding his leg between mine.
“You know I’d devour anything you have to offer.” His voice is low and seductive, and it’s hitting all the right spots. I don’t know how a voice can turn me on, but Aeron’s definitely does. All the damn time.
“Anytime, Sin, I…”
Emmet chooses this moment to appear, and Aeron steps away. Although I want to see him, I wish he could have waited at least five more minutes. Or long enough for me to tell Aeron that what I said wasn’t just in the heat of the moment, and I do love him. I've searched inside myself, a lot, and I know it’s true. Without a shadow of a doubt.
“Well, don’t you two look cozy.” His face is void of every emotion. A blank slate, and I hate it.
“Em, can we talk? I just need to put this in the oven, and then I’m free for like, thirty minutes.” I move away from Aeron, and stare up at him.
He doesn’t say anything. All he does is slightly nod his head and walk off.
“I can put that in the oven for you. Really, I thought you two would have sorted this out by now.”
“Me too, Sin, me too.”
I move over to the sofa, to find that he’s already claimed a spot for himself. I fold my knees under myself, and lean my head against the back. He stares straight ahead, his cheek ticking, as the corner of his eye twitches. I know what I need to say, but I don’t know how to start it off.