Three, two, one.
I drive the shard of mirrored glass into his neck, right as I send my knee into his balls.
He drops like a ton of bricks, and I stand over him. He clutches at his throat, as a smile spreads across my face.
“Take that you piece of shit.” I may hate swearing, but he hates it more. “I would never choose to be with you, I’d rather fucking die. I guess I really am just like my mother, because I know without a shadow of a doubt that she could never have loved a psychotic bastard like you.” I drive my foot into his balls one last time before I drop down to my knees.
He’s still clutching at his throat, trying to hold onto his pitiful life. I place mine over his, and send the glass in deeper, his eyes are on mine as I watch the life drain out of him. The blood trails onto the floor, spreading out around him, and all I can do is sit here... and watch.
It coats my jeans, hands, and everything in between. I stare into his vacant eyes as a weird keening sound fills the air. Oh, I think that might be me.
A door opens and closes, it could be close, or even miles away, I don’t know. Everything feels different now, the world no longer has any light within it, everything is just a dull grey, and red. A bright red, so much red.
“Luna, baby.”
A hand touches my shoulder, and I recoil, drawing further into myself. I wondered if I could live with my actions, and I guess now I know. I can’t. Darius is dead, Emmet will go to prison, and I killed Arthur. Yeah, I’m well and truly fucked.
“She’s in shock,” a voice washes over me, but instead of being a source of calm, it has panic flaring in my chest.
I cover my ears to block it out, as I rock back and forth. “No, no, no. Not real, not real.” He’s dead, I saw him die, and now I’m hearing his voice, will I hear Arthur’s soon? Am I damned to spend the remainder of my days hearing him call me Selene, feeling his hand around my throat, and on my thigh?
My hands are pulled away, and my head is brought up. A scream pours out of me as my eyes lock onto Cole’s. Damn, my mind must be powerful if it can conjure him up this well.
“What are you doing?” Darius shouts, and this is just getting better. How do people live with guilt, when it feels this awful?
“She’s in shock, we need to get her out of here. She killed him.” His voice sounds strangled, as he tries to pick me up, but I lash out. I claw at his face, and kick at his legs, until he drops me.
“Stay away from me, I hate you,” I scream, I’m starting to realize they are actually here, but the fear isn’t going away.
“Luna, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he says soothingly, and I slap him across the face. Yes, that feels good.
The gun appears in his hand as he levels it with my face. “I don’t want to shoot you, Luna, but I won’t let you stay here either. Maybe you’re too broken to be saved.” He sounds wistful, as tears trail down his cheeks, and my body goes numb.
“Put the gun down, Cole,” Darius demands, as he pulls a gun out himself, and trains it on him.
He spins around, waving the gun in the air, as a bullet dislodges and strikes the floor, only mere inches from where I am.
“You won’t shoot me, you don’t have the…”
He drops as the shot rings out, and my eyes meet Darius’. He stares at me, not daring to come closer, until he throws the gun on the ground and slowly makes his way towards me. His eyes roam over every inch of me, taking in the blood on my jeans, hands, and surrounding Arthur’s body. I don’t know when I stopped seeing him as Sir, probably when I stole his life.
“Snowflake, are you with me?” He crouches down until we’re eye level, and I start to tremble.
“I th-thought y-y-you were dead.” It pours out of me with a loud, all body sob, as he pulls me into his arms and runs his hands over my hair.
“I’ll never leave you again. I’m yours, Snowflake.” He drops a kiss on my head, as a deep, shuddering breath escapes him.
“I killed him,” I gasp the words out, as my eyes fall on Arthur, and I look away.
“No, you didn’t, Cole did. He stabbed him with a shard of glass after he knocked me out with the gun. Only, he didn’t bother to search me to see if I was carrying, and he didn’t hit me hard enough. I wasn’t quick enough to save my boss, but I was just in time to save you. That is what happened, and only me and you will ever know the truth.” He scoops me into his arms as I cling on for dear life.
If I thought my soul had shattered before, I was wrong. Thinking I lost Darius left me with an emptiness I thought could never be filled, but killing someone, even though my fate would have been a lot worse if I hadn’t, that’s what’s shattered me. There isn’t enough glue in the world to ever put me back together again.
Chapter Fifty One – Graduation Day
Luna
It doesn’t feel right to be graduating, with Sir not even in the ground yet. It doesn’t bother me, not his death. The only thing I struggle with is the fact I’m responsible for it. Still, a celebration three days after that happened. I still can’t believe it all occurred in one single night. The ball, Cole kidnapping me, and then Sir taking me to become a ‘new’ Selene.
The guys don’t really understand why I can’t be around them, because they don’t know the truth. It’s Darius that I find comfort in, he’s the one who holds me when the nightmares get too bad, and the guilt feels as though it’s going to suffocate me.
They think I need time to process what I learnt about my mom and dad, but I don’t. I lost them long before I knew who they were, all that has changed is the fact I now know who was responsible. That being said, I can’t avoid the ceremony. If I don’t attend, I won’t graduate, and I won’t get my money. I want to tell them all to go to hell, but if I don’t, then my mom will have to pay back the money that a One would owe. It’s more than she will ever make in her lifetime, I can’t do that to her.
“You look beautiful, Homegirl.” D wraps her arms around my waist, resting her chin on my shoulder.
“I don’t feel beautiful, I feel like a fraud. I don’t know if I can do this.” My voice cracks, and she rubs my back.
“Half an hour, and then we’re gone. One week, and we won’t even be in the country. I know you’re regretting your decision, but I think you made the right one. If you guys are meant to be, then it will work out. Me and Jake did, it took us six years to figure our shit out, but now we’re finally in a good place.” She kisses my cheek, before pulling my hair up.
“It’s going to hurt them and me. Maybe I shouldn’t give them hope.”
“Then don’t, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t allow yourself to feel it again. You are not a bad person, Homegirl, and quite frankly, I think you did the world a favor.” She spins around before walking over to the door, and waiting for me.
Yeah, I broke Darius’ rule. It got too much, I couldn’t live with the guilt and it was either tell D, or tell the police. I made the right call. I shouldn’t throw my life away because of him, it doesn’t matter that it was in self defense, and I feared for my life. He was the most powerful man alive, and I killed him.