“Luna, you have a visitor, I’m not about to entertain them,” he calls through the door. Yeah, that sounds about right.
I throw on a pair of leggings, a long flowing tank top before stepping outside and I can’t help but squeal when I see D.
Her arms are around me in seconds and I’m glad I’m better with the whole cuddling thing now.
“Homegirl, you have got to stop worrying me like this. I really need you to stay healthy,” she says with a laugh and I hold her just that little bit tighter.
“I’m off to speak to my father. Don’t leave the room,” he orders before he leaves us, and I’m glad he’s giving us this time alone.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” she asks as I turn on the coffee maker.
“There’s nothing I can say. I keep trying to recall what happened, but… I don’t think I wandered off. Usually when I need some fresh air, I’ll step outside. But I have decided that I won’t be doing that anymore, because I keep running into people who make me regret going out without any of the guys. I hate it, but it’s true.” I drag my fingers through my hair as my frustration builds.
“So, you think someone did that to you? Dragged you out to the river and just left you there. Why not just drown you?” She tilts her head to the side and I don’t know if I should feel offended or laugh.
“Thanks, D, I love you too.”
“Well, it’s not like I wanted that to happen. It’s just, with all the crap that’s being going on at the Academy, the psycho always made sure that the person wouldn’t be coming back to point any fingers. If they wanted you dead, why leave you like that?”
“I keep asking myself the same thing, although I had this dream last night and I’m starting to wonder if it wasn’t actually a memory.” I rub at my eyes and groan in relief as the coffee pot stops boiling.
“What happened?” She comes to stand beside me as I pour us both a mug.
“So, I woke up in a raft. Which was strange because I hadn’t gone to sleep. I felt confused, which obviously made sense. When I realised where I was, I decided to jump out but something yanked me back. I woke up straight after, so I have no idea what stopped me from getting out, or if it wasn’t a nightmare after all.” Now that I’m saying it out loud, it does seem like it’s more of a nightmare than anything else, maybe I did the right thing in not mentioning this to Emmet.
“I don’t know, but knowing this family, I wouldn’t rule anything out. Just listen to your own advice and don’t go out alone, and I’ll be with you once we get back to the Academy, so you won’t have anything to worry about there.” She wraps her arm around me and I lean into her. Best friend ever!
“Okay, now it’s your turn. I want to hear everything. And I really want to know if you found a way to forgive Jake?” Curiosity is burning it’s way through me.
“Well, he stood there as I had an arrow aimed at him and didn’t even try to run away. I don’t know how long it will take to fully trust him, but I want to and I think it’s going to be fun to get there. I love him, Lu, I always have. Before I even really knew what it could mean. He watched me go through all that shit with Bradley and he knows he did wrong by you, but I was more angry than you were! How is that even possible?” She throws her hands in the air and I can’t help but smirk at her.
“Well, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have been kissing anyone other than a Harkwright, and definitely not in a club. I was scared I won’t lie, but if he’s good to you, then I’m happy.” I really do mean it as well. I don’t know if I trust him, but that doesn’t matter.
I can’t help that my mind drifts for a moment, even with all the shit I’ve just endured. I know I want to keep Darius in a little box and not deal with him right now, but I miss him. It’s been so long since we had even a moment together, nothing really since New Year. Apart from the awkward shit that I really don’t want to think about. I just have to try and think of a way to get some alone time with him, even if it is just to talk.
“He wouldn’t have told anyone, that isn’t Jake. He just used the knowledge that you wouldn't realise that against you. But don’t worry, if he ever tries it again, then I’ll cut his balls off and dangle them from my bag.” I make myself focus back in and watch as she smiles evilly, and it worries me how happy that makes me.
“Can we put glitter on them, make them really sparkle?” I grin wide and she cackles like a witch, as she claps her hands together and nods.
“Okay, so it’s a deal. If he ever does something stupid again, I’ll cut his balls off and we’ll make them pretty.” We both double over in laughter and take a few moments to calm ourselves back down.
“Luna, can I say something?” She looks at her hands and obviously I’m not going to say no.
“Of course you can. You don’t have to ask, that’s my thing.” She smiles but she still won’t look at me directly.
“Before I left, I said some things about the guys and… I don’t know if I should have. I meant it, but I thought I knew Bradley and I thought I knew where Jake stood, but I was wrong on both accounts. I just worry that you’ll give them your heart and then when it comes to saying goodbye, you won’t.” She bites down on her lip, and I don’t know what to say back to that.
“Are you going to say goodbye to Jake, Maddox, or even me? Why do I have to say goodbye at all?” Wasn’t that my plan, to not give them my heart. Yeah, well, it’s a little late for that.
“No, I don’t think I could. But I only have one guy interested in me and if that wasn’t the case… I only want one. Do you really think they could be okay with you only choosing one of them? And what if you can’t, what if you can’t choose? Look, just forget I even said anything, it doesn’t even matter. The guys seem to be great with you, even Emmet is giving us time together. Maybe I’m wrong.” She hugs her cup to her chest, while I stare into my own.
Maybe she isn’t wrong. I remember Aeron walking out and being worked up because of secrets that they’re keeping from me. Just because they make an effort occasionally doesn’t change the fact that they are Harkwrights, and I’m nothing more than an Academy girl. Maybe they love me, want me, or just want me to be a notch in their bed post. Either way, I’m never going to be on their level, and there is always going to be a mountain to climb and obstacles to face along the way. I don’t think I’m going to ever reach the top, and that’s what I need to remember. I can love these guys, but I can never really have them.
Maddox joins us an hour later and it's perfect. I love these guys so much, these are my people. We don’t pretend to be royalty or even strive to be. We’re just happy to be in each other's company and smile at the simple things.
“So, tell me about this boyfriend of yours. I hope he’s good to you,” I say as I open the chocolates he bought and we help ourselves.
“Mikey’s just… Mikey. He’s a good guy, but he has an easy life and he likes that. He works for his dad and he doesn’t really enjoy drama. I worry that my family is going to be too much for him.” He taps out a pattern on his leg and my heart goes out to him.