“Hi, I was just thinking about you,” I say with a nervous chuckle. I really can’t start questioning her about how they’ve managed to pull this whole thing off.
“I’ll admit it is strange to be standing in a home owned by a Harkwright, but Liz and Ben have always been kind to me. They certainly had no reason to be.” She looks around, and I can’t help but wonder if she’s checking for spies.
“I don’t understand how you’re even here, and t-t-that sounds r-r-really rude.” I start fidgeting on the spot as my fingers twitch at my sides.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about offending me, I’m made of much stronger stuff than that. I may appear old and ragged, but I like to think that it’s just a way for others to underestimate me.” She winks but her words are cold.
“I wasn’t calling you old. See, this is why I don’t like talking to people.” I pull frantically at the lace overlay on my dress. I feel sick to my stomach and I wish I could press rewind and avoid this conversation entirely.
“Calm down, it’s okay. You honestly didn’t say anything that could offend me, I just find it hard to be around his ‘family’. I guess it makes me a little unbearable and abrasive,” she shakes her head and I marvel at her choice of words. Didn’t I just think of Tucker in that way?
“Okay, I’m just really bad around people. I thought I was getting better, but I guess I still have the ability to put my foot in my mouth.”
“You’re fine, my girl. This is an unknown party, the more public one will take place before the school year starts. Arthur won’t make time to come now, he would prefer to have it belated and in a situation that he can control. So, when all the boys disappear before the first term begins, that will be where Tucker goes. To play the good little Harkwright and try to stay on that psycho’s good side. He wouldn’t even care if Belle wasn’t there, but if she is to be accepted into the Harkwright family, then this is the price he has to pay.” Her eyes are cold as her jaw ticks, and I’m starting to see where Tucker gets his mannerisms from.
“Why would he want her to be a part of this?”
Her eyes open wide. Shit, did I ask that out loud?
“It’s better to be accepted, than ostracized. I don’t even know if this is what Tucker wants. Hopefully, he’s just playing the long game, but if not, then at least she’ll have him. He’ll keep her safe.” Her eyes are shimmering as she stares at her son and granddaughter with a longing that is all too familiar. The same kind of longing I always felt whenever I watched Poppy and mom together.
“Yeah, but who will keep him safe?” Our eyes meet, but there is no right or wrong answer to that question. Here’s hoping he’s strong enough for the both of them, not just when faced with Sir, but with Rachel as well.
I watch as the other kids play and chase each other around. The way Tucker is always on the sidelines but never seems to be alone. I guess I could join him, but I like this. Standing back and observing, I mean in all honesty, how many chances am I going to get? I am glad that he introduced me as his friend though, I don’t even want to think about how many feathers would be ruffled with a girlfriend declaration.
“Is it hard seeing him with his adoptive family? I’ve always wondered if I had a chance to meet my birth father if I would take it. I’ve always worried that it would hurt my mom.” I’m aiming for curiosity with a side of detachment, but I don’t think I’m pulling it off too well.
“It gets easier every time I come here, but I am grateful for the life they’ve given him. Love, kindness, they made his childhood fun. Unfortunately, in the battle of nature versus nurture, he fell on the nature side. He is so much like me and my grandfather, it’s hard to believe he didn’t grow up surrounded by us.” She chokes a little on the end, as she strokes at her neck. She’s not looking at them anymore.
“It’s funny, I’m not envious of the guys for all the money they have and the power they control. But I do find myself envying Tucker, because he’s got them and you. It’s silly, I know.” I tuck my hair behind my ears before walking over to the buffet table to grab something to eat. I can hear her footsteps bringing her closer, I guess she isn’t finished with this conversation yet. Is that bitchy? I don’t mean it to be.
“It isn’t silly, but I imagine you don’t want to continue this conversation anymore.” She places a gentle hand on my shoulder before squeezing lightly. She walks away and I just stare at the food, wishing I could be more sociable.
“Are you not enjoying the party?” Tucker’s voice washes over me and a warmth fills my stomach.
“It’s wonderful, I’m just not sure what to do,” I reply softly, as awkwardness bleeds out into my voice.
“You don’t have to do anything, just have fun. Play with Belle if you want, talk to my parents. Whatever you feel like.” He runs a hand down my bare arm and I turn around to face him.
“Thank you for sharing this day with me, it means a lot.”
“Of course, Tiny One. I’m glad you’re here.” His eyes stray to my lips but he doesn’t make a move to kiss me. Instead, he smiles slightly and heads back to the kids and lines up for the face painting table.
“He’s a great father.”
The words throw me, it isn’t what was said, but who said it. I never even heard Ben approach; how can he be so quiet?
“I can see that. She adores him too, it’s as clear as day.” I look up at him and my nerves fray. I don’t know how to be around him, and I really want something to happen so I can get away without being rude.
“I know I wasn’t very welcoming when you first arrived, and I would like to apologize for that. It wasn’t personal, truly. I just… I know what it’s like being a part of this world.” His voice starts to trail off and I catch him watching Liz.
“I can see how much you love her, yet you sound as though y-y-you have r-r-regrets,” I force the words out through my teeth, and he stares at me hard.
“I don’t regret being with Liz, but I wouldn’t wish the Harkwright name on anyone. I’m sure you and Tucker would make a lovely couple and maybe you could even be happy. But that sort of happiness will come at a cost, and the price isn’t for everyone. I’m not telling you to run from him, but…”
“But what? Please, tell me.” I’m scared of what his next words may be, but I won’t let fear rule me anymore.
“Don’t stay. When your time comes to an end, just walk away and never look back. For your sake, health, and happiness. You will find it easier to be happy if you are as far from this family as you can possibly get. Everything always comes back to Sir, and he believes in holding complete control. This includes spouses and children. I love my wife and son, but this world will destroy you. Please, Luna, just walk away.” He gives me a lackluster smile before he moves to join his wife.
His words swim through my head and I wonder what I can do. Stay or walk away. I thought the decision would be easy, that it didn’t even exist. I’m not so sure now.
Belle comes bouncing over in her light blue princess dress and tiara, chocolate smears her cheek, and she’s glowing with happiness.