“Do you know who will be there this time around? I mean, with Shane being replaced with that Thallon guy…” Oh hell no, she is not getting interested in him, I can’t let that happen.
Darius can fucking wait, this has to be dealt with now. My hands fall on her shoulders and I grip her hard, not enough to hurt but enough to make her listen. Our eyes lock as I bring my head closer, my eyes boring into hers.
“You listen to me now, Luna, and I don’t want any fucking empty promises or a yes just to please me.” I wait for her to respond, as she gives a jerk of her head and beads of sweat start to form on her brow. “You stay away from Thallon, he isn’t like the rest of us. Emmet is callous and cold, unless he cares and then he cares too much. Aeron is fucked up from his mother, but he loves hard and Tom… well, Tom is just who he is. He cares for people and protects them, to a limit, but he’ll also fuck you over if he feels like he has to. Even though Shane has his limits, where he tries to be a good little soldier, he lets his emotions rule him which is why he fucked up so much with you. His hatred got the better of him.” She opens her mouth, but I press my hand against it. “Thallon has no loyalty to any of us, he’ll do as he is told by Sir to a degree, unless it goes against what he wants. He will take you and fuck you up until you’re nothing but a beautiful disaster. Stay away from him and don’t let yourself be pulled in by his toxic promises and pretty lies. Don’t fall for him, Emmet is by far the better option.”
Fuck me, those words just prove how desperate I am. My voice is rough, and I don’t even want to know what she can see in my eyes, I need to try harder to keep my barriers up, she doesn’t need to know what I’m thinking or worse. What I’m feeling. I move my hand away and she opens her mouth, before closing it. Unlike me, she actually thinks about what she wants or needs to say.
“Okay, Tuck, but you know you can’t help who you fall for, right?” she says it slowly, carefully, as though she’s measuring the words with her tongue.
“Then try harder. I’m not joking, Luna. I once said we should get you a knife for when you’re around Sir, maybe you should have one when you’re around Thallon as well. And despite what you say, if you don’t open yourself up to someone, then you can’t love them. I think you know what to take away from that little lesson, or do you need me to spell it out for you?” I really am a fuckwad, but this is who I am. No airs or graces and I’m not going to measure my words or hold back out of fear of upsetting someone, even if that someone is Luna.
“No, I understand, Tucker,” she bites back, and it’s strange how much I miss the nickname. Even though I have no idea why she’s adopted it for her own. She pushes against my chest and I smirk as I take a step back. It isn’t as though she could make me move otherwise.
“It’s time to go, I’m sure this retreat will be a real eye opener for you.” She doesn’t even look back at me as marches into the elevator, no indication that my words even made it to her sensitive little ears.
If Darius looks back one more time, I’m going to ram my fist into the side of his face. I haven’t got a problem with the guy, and in all honesty, I have mad respect for him and for what he did. But he has to stop looking at Luna like she’s his forbidden fruit, although if she does leave us all in her dust, maybe he’ll go with her. Keep her safe, away from danger. Come to think of it, how safe has she really been? Can I blame him for it? No, I guess not. It doesn't mean that I won’t hold him accountable though.
“Tell me something, I don’t already know,” Luna says softly, as she slides her hand into mine.
“We could probably fill a book with the things you don’t know,” I say flippantly, but I close my hand around hers when she tries to pull away.
“You’re a…” She closes her mouth tight, I wish she would just get it over with and swear already.
“What? A bastard, a dick, or can you think of something a little more creative?” I push my tongue into the side of my cheek, and she stares at the action.
“Sometimes, I really don’t like you.” She blows out a breath before she turns her head to stare out of the window.
“You don’t need to like me, Tiny One. But you want me to tell you something, fine. Just let me think about it.”
What can I tell her? The reason you didn’t want to share, and none of the bullshit I keep telling myself. I don’t know if I can do that, I don’t open myself up to people and I certainly don’t do intimate and tender moments. I can’t open up my soul and tell her the truth, so what can I say?
“Aeron, Tom, and I. We used to be thick as thieves, but we’re not anymore. It all started over a girl, we all wanted her, and she chose me. They thought they lost, but after winning her, I ended up being the one to lose everything. I gained a daughter, but have now been trapped with having Rachel in my life until the day one of us dies. I wouldn’t give up Belle, but I do wish she had a different mother. She played us all, and now we’re nothing more than acquaintances, it doesn’t matter that we’re family. Some things are just inevitable.” I stare at the passing cars, as I tug at my tie before undoing the top two buttons on my shirt. Anything to keep my hands busy, and all I can do is wait to hear what she has to say back to my little revelation.
“Is that why you decided you didn’t want to share me? Because of what happened with Rachel?” Her voice is quiet, and I can’t resist glancing at her. It’s impossible to miss the way she stares at me, as though she can see all the things I keep locked away.
“Yes and no. I mean, that’s certainly a part of it. We may not have much of a relationship, but we are still family. I’d rather not have any more issues caused by a girl. Besides, we’re not known for our ability of being good sharers.”
“What’s the other reason?” Her hand squeezes mine and I have the sudden urge to rip free of her grip, and I don’t just mean her hand.
“I won’t tell you while there are ears about, but I will give you an answer,” I say it through gritted teeth and my breath leaves me as she rests her head on my shoulder. Does she feel comfortable with me? When the fuck did that happen?
“The bios tell us what hobbies you guys enjoy, but yours is blank. Don’t you have anything you enjoy?” Her voice is soft, her breath is nothing more than a caress against my neck as she turns her head up to look at me.
My eyes meet Darius’ in the rear view mirror, before I look down at her. I don’t know why I have wrapped my arm around her shoulders, but just this once, I think I will allow myself to actually answer a question with no hesitation.
“I have a lot of interests. I just don’t see why nameless and faceless girls should get to know them. That’s what Academy girls are, you think you’re there for us to find a wife or to be our playthings, but there are other reasons. As for my hobbies, I enjoy puzzles, music, and art. And I love theme parks, going on rides that terrify you, the ones that go fast, high, and upside down. That’s what I enjoy, and I can’t wait to take Belle to her first park and watch her face light up as she goes on a ride. Those small moments are what matters, they're the things we'll remember when we’re old and grey. Not how much money we earned, the power we held, or the presents we were given. No, we’ll remember those special moments that light even the darkest depths of our consciousness.” I don’t know why I’m smiling right now or why my fingers are drawing circles on her arms, but I can’t seem to stop. Nor do I want to.