“Of course.” He snuggled into Cam’s arms. But a little worm of doubt wiggled into his brain.
Was Cam leaving him? Would he have to return to England by himself?
3
It wasn’t like Cam to keep secrets from Alexi, but he needed to do this alone. His yearly doctor visits never brought good news, at least in his eyes. When he received notice that his polyps had returned, it had almost seemed like a death sentence to him. And until he met Alexi, he’d been ghost-walking through life.
“So you still don’t think there’s any way I’ll ever be able to sing again?”
Cam sat in his doctor’s office, and though he knew the answer, he still needed to hear it again.
“Haven’t we had this exact conversation many times over the past five years? No, Cameron. Not if you don’t want to lose your voice completely. Are you really willing to take that risk? I thought you were smarter than that.” Dr. Wazil shot him a puzzled look.
“I am, I know. I mean…I’m frustrated. I’m on the verge of having to tell Alexi I can’t return to England with him. If I could sing, I might be able to get a work visa—but now?” The idea of Alexi returning to England without him kept him up at night. Thoughts of Alexi meeting someone else, falling out of love with him and in love with another man, someone more exciting, tortured him. “I guess there’s nothing left for me to do.”
Sympathy creased Dr. Wazil’s face. “I have family in London. If you want, I can ask them if they know of any positions for you to teach music.”
“I appreciate it, but I don’t see me being special enough to get a sponsorship. I’m no different than any other teacher.”
“Aren’t you willing to try? That’s not the Cam I know.”
Driving home, he replayed Dr. Wazil’s words. The problem, as Cam saw it, was that he wasn’t sure who he was anymore. While he loved Alexi to distraction, it became increasingly frustrating for Cam to spend his days sitting around waiting for him to finish class. Without his music, he wasn’t sure of the direction his life was taking if he continued to live in England. But leaving Alexi behind in England would damn near kill him, and the infrequent visits he’d make during the holidays would make the intervening time spent alone seem like forever.
Because it was summer and the Kharpov family’s busy time at the custard stand, Alexi had volunteered to help out and work. Cam parked the car a few blocks from the boardwalk and sauntered through the crowds, drinking in the familiar sights and sounds of his favorite summer haunt. On a whim, he waited in a long line at Nathan’s and picked up some hot dogs and fries to bring to the custard stand. He carried the bag in one hand and whistled the song he sang the day he and Alexi started their love affair: “Here Comes the Sun.”
The familiar weathered sign of Alexi’s family’s custard stand came into view, and a long line of customers snaked out across the boardwalk, almost to the benches. Cam spied Alexi with his cousin, Dmitri, and Alexi’s father working frantically to keep up. He hurried over and entered the stand through the side door and after dropping the bag with the food on a counter in the back, he took up a place next to Dmitri.
“What can I do to help?”
“Cam.” Dmitri’s eyes lit up with surprise and pleasure. “Good to see you. Do you remember how to swirl custard like we showed you?”
“Yeah. ’Lexi had me practice enough. I’ll do that while you ring.”
He nodded hello to Vladimir and gave Alexi a wink as he stood shoulder to shoulder with him. Together they worked quickly, and Cam was pleased to see that he in fact did remember what to do, and he even did a few fancy swirls. After twenty minutes, the entire line had been handled, and they could finally take a breather.
Alexi took off his baseball cap and brushed aside his sweaty blond waves. “That was a killer. I’d forgotten how crowded the boardwalk could get.”
“Yeah. They don’t get their custard, they get murderous,” Dmitri joked and wiped his sticky fingers on a napkin. “It’s not a pretty sight.” He nudged Cam. “Thanks for coming by. I see you brought some snacks.”
Vladimir grunted. “It’s Alexi’s break time, Dmitri. Not yours. Let him enjoy it. He’s been here since ten in the morning.” Cam caught his eye. “Thank you for your help. It is appreciated.”
Not the warmest greeting but Cam would take it. “Would you like a hot dog?” he asked as pleasantly as possible. “I have six.”
“I have lunch, but thank you.” Cam wondered if he and Alexi’s father would ever pass this stage of formality, but he counted himself lucky they were at least civil to each other. It could be worse.
“I’ll take one.” Dmitri nudged him as he picked up the bag, and Alexi muttered something under his breath about “mooching relatives.”
Cam rolled his eyes. “You, I already know. Why do you think I bought six? But the fries are mine and ’Lexi’s. I draw the line.”
“Go on, get out of here and have your lunch date.” Dmitri took a huge bite of the hot dog. “Thanks for the help.” His voice was muffled by the hot dog in his mouth.
“I see having a girlfriend hasn’t improved your table manners.” Alexi snickered as he passed by his cousin and swatted him on his butt. He grabbed two beach towels hanging on a hook on the back of the door, slung one around his neck, and handed the other to Cam.
“She loves me for who I am, cuz.”
“What’s that, uncultured?” Alexi razzed Dmitri, who flipped him off. Alexi laughed and waved at Cam. “Let’s get out of here before it gets too busy to leave.”
Cam and Alexi left the stand and without even speaking, automatically headed to the beach. It was a glorious, hot day and Coney Island was crowded, but he and Alexi walked down the sand, past Luna Park, to where it was less populated.
“This looks like a good place.” Cam pointed to a space on the sand by the edge of the boardwalk. They dropped their towels, and Cam set the bag of hot dogs and fries on top. “Let’s eat first, then go in the water.”
They munched on their food while they tangled their feet and toes together in the warm sand. Cam popped the last piece of his hot dog into his mouth and licked his lips.
“Even a bit cold and soggy, there’s nothing like a Nathan’s hot dog.” When Alexi failed to answer, Cam nudged him. “What’s up, baby? You’ve been so quiet.”
Alexi trailed a toe in the sand, making circles. “I don’t know. It’s funny. When I lived here, I couldn’t wait to get away, you know? I always dreamed that once I left, the world would be different. I was certain I’d never want to come back.”
Cam remained silent, understanding instinctively—Alexi needed to work this out in his head.
“Maybe I had this crazy thought that life would stand still here while I left, and when I came back, everything would be the same. But it didn’t. I mean, I know I’ve changed. But seeing my family, being here.” He turned his agonized eyes on Cam. “I didn’t think I’d miss it so much.”
“Oh, baby.” He scooted over to wrap his arms around Alexi. “It’s only natural. You’re a little homesick, that’s all.”