Monday was the first day we went in separate directions as we left the elevator.
And I hated every fucking foot that separated us.
Some of that was subdued by the blonde sitting outside my office beaming at me.
Thank the heavens—Crystal was back.
Nothing against the woman who held my heart, but she was a constant distraction I didn’t need. She was a fantastic fill-in, but the platonic relationship I had with Crystal was better suited for the workplace.
I gave Crystal a last squeeze and pulled back. “I’m so happy you’re back.”
“By that hug, it’s been a disaster, huh?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Actually, no, it wasn’t.”
“Way to make a girl feel wanted.”
I walked into my office and she followed, shutting the door behind her. “It’s not that, it’s just… Well, I did something.”
“If you’re referring to the way you steamrolled your authority to get a girl from Marketing to take over, I know.”
“You do?” I asked. I knew the rumor mill had been going around about us, but I didn’t realize Crystal was still in the loop.
She rolled her eyes. “Thane, the amount of gossip that has reached me is insane. The walls aren’t soundproof, you know.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Crap, I hadn’t thought about that. No, all I’d had on my mind was getting inside her.
I shook my head. “Don’t let her know that. Roe takes no shit, but she’s not immune to embarrassment and she’ll blame me.”
“And you aren’t to blame?” Crystal asked, popping a knowing brow.
“Technically, she is.”
“That’s right, blame the woman. We’re used to that.”
“She’s the one who spilled coffee on me. I can’t be held accountable for all that happened after that.” By my grin, Crystal knew I was full of shit. It was all my fault, but I still liked to tease Roe that it was hers.
“Did she immediately fall into your arms? The jealousy is high around here. I know you haven’t noticed it, but at least one has it out for her.”
“For Roe? Why?”
“My first question. Answer it.”
I heaved a sigh. “She probably called me every name under the sun for two weeks. Insubordinate, inappropriate, and if it wasn’t for the unusual arrangement, I would have fired her.”
“If it was anyone but her.”
Yeah, she caught me there. Roe had me from the first day she stomped into my office like a hellcat.
“Right. And falling into my arms?” I shook my head. “I had to pretty much beg and trick her to even go to lunch with me. Dinner was a completely different battle.”
“Cut the crap. What did you say to piss her off so badly?”
Again, I squeezed my eyes tightly. If Crystal was a violent person, I knew a punch would be headed my way, but instead, I knew what was about to come out of my mouth would earn me a stern look of disappointment.
“I may have said some bullshit about you choosing your baby over me.”
Crystal didn’t know about my abandonment issues, so I was taken aback by her next words.
She stepped forward and took my hands in hers. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” I stared at her like she had two heads, completely confused.
“I know change is difficult for you, that having someone to count on is tantamount to your stability.”
“What are you talking about?”
She sighed. “I’ve been working with you for over five years now. We’ve gotten to know a lot about each other in that time. That’s just what happens in this type of relationship. And what I know isn’t fact, but a feeling I’ve long held.”
“And that is?”
“You’ve dated many women. Many. But only once, maybe twice. I think there was once a whole three weeks you went out with a woman. Then bam, onto the next. Most just thought you were a manwhore, but I knew, because I know you in a way few do.”
“There was nothing there, that was all,” I said, but she shook her head.
“No, there was a reason. You were leaving them before you developed any feelings. You left them before they could leave you. You have abandonment issues, and while I was only leaving temporarily, you felt like I was leaving you and you lashed out.”
I swallowed hard as every word hit me hard in the chest. The feelings I held for Roe I denied, but it didn’t change the truth. “There was a spark with her, and I clung to that like I’ve never clung to anything before.”
“And you wanted more, then more and more, in ways you never did before.”
I scrunched my brow at her. It was almost like she’d been watching over me the entire time.
“Who is feeding you all this gossip?” I asked, wondering if I needed to soundproof my walls.
She laughed. “It’s not just gossip. There was something inside Marketing Girl that made you willing to do anything to keep her close. No woman has ever done that to you.”
“I think she was meant to be mine,” I admitted. We were a perfect match, from the things we shared in common to the things that separated us. Roe was good for me, and I knew I was good for her.
“That’s wonderful.”
“But…” That nagging feeling settled in my stomach again. “I’m not sure she feels the same.”
“Do you love her?”
“Yes,” I whispered. How could I openly admit that to Crystal and nobody else? Probably because she was the first to ask.
“Then make her see how perfect you are for each other.”
I pulled at my neck. “It’s not that simple. There are other factors. We have similar issues, and it’s been hard getting her to let me in. She’s guarded because she has a child.”
Crystal leaned back and folded her arms in front of her, her gaze narrowed on me. “Oh, I see now.”
“See what?”
“Why she was so angry with you. Still, she must care for you if you’re together. Give her time. Just be there for her, let her see the kind and reliable man I know you to be.”
“I missed your advice.”
She let out a loud laugh at that. “You never listened to it before, so why now?”
It was true. She’d given me advice about women for years and I’d ignored it. Probably because it was about women I wasn’t interest in. “Back to work.”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” she said before turning toward the door. She stopped and looked back to me. “Oh, one last question.”
I lifted my head back up. “Yes?”
“Does this mean I can throw your little black book away?”
I beamed at her. “Shred it.”
She smiled back. “You got it, boss.”
The week was over before I knew it, and it was kind of sad and unsettling to be closing out my work outside Thane’s door. I’d already removed any personal items and distributed them back at my desk. I was happy, ecstatic to be returning to the job I loved, but I was sad to be leaving the man I’d fallen deeply for.
When I arrived at my desk on Monday after leaving Thane at the elevator, I just stood there and stared at it. It felt odd to sit at my desk again. My little cube seemed foreign, and I found myself lost and confused.