“Will you let me tell you why I did it? Picking her up today?”
Kinsey squirmed out of her grip and crawled her way over to me, then stood. Roe watched carefully as Kinsey’s little hands patted my cheeks.
“Dada,” she cooed at me. I froze, the small word striking my heart, and looked over to Roe, who stared wide-eyed at us.
Her gaze flickered to mine. “I didn’t teach her that.”
I wasn’t sure I would ever have the desire for children again after I lost my son, but the second I laid eyes on Kinsey in Roe’s arms that night, I’d begun to change. My chest clenched, knowing the perfect little toddler in front of me thought I was her father.
And I loved it.
Visions of Roe beside me, beautiful mixes of us all around us, made me long for something I had convinced myself I didn’t want.
I was so in love with Roe. Not just her, but Kinsey as well.
I wanted to be Kinsey’s father, and the father to an entire brood of Thane and Roe Carthwright babies.
“That’s why,” I whispered as I pulled Kinsey into my arms and pressed my lips to her forehead.
Roe was frozen as she stared at us. My gaze met hers.
“What I did today was drastic, and I’m so sorry I made you worry, but it was the only way I could get you to see me.”
“You could have found another way,” she ground out.
“Could I? Would you have seen me?” I asked. The anger in her features faltered. “You had every scrap of me packed up and gone within hours of breaking my damn heart. For what?”
“To save myself. To save Kinsey.”
At least I finally had an honest answer. We were a fucking mess of abandonment issues.
“I’m going to say this now, and I will repeat it until I get it through that thick skull and the wall around your heart. Are you listening?”
She nodded.
I made certain our eyes were locked when I said the next words.
“I love you, Roe.”
Her eyes widened and watered, then she began shaking her head.
“I love you so much.”
“No.”
“I love Kinsey and I want you both to be mine.”
“Stop,” she begged, her bottom lip trembling. “You made it clear.”
“What clear?”
“You said she was mine.”
“And she is.”
She shook her head. “The way you said it. Those words. In the park. I wanted you to claim us in front of that bitch, but you didn’t.”
I knew then what she was talking about because they had weighed me down more than once. “I hated those words as soon as they came out. They didn’t feel right then. And they don’t feel right now. Kinsey is mine in the same way you’re mine. All I want is to love you and take care of you.”
“I don’t need you to take care of me! I don’t need a sugar daddy.”
Sugar daddy? I was going to have to circle back around to that one after I got her straightened out.
“I want to take care of your heart, your body. I want to heal your soul. To restore your inability to trust by proving that your faith in me isn’t misplaced. You’ve done so much for so many people over the years. You selflessly opened your home and heart to a tiny baby, despite knowing it would cost you. I want to help you. I want to be your partner in crime. Be your strength when you feel weak. I want you to rely on me.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks.
“I love you, Roe. Not just for now. Not until someone else comes along, because there is nobody else for me. There is only you, and I want only you. I love you, and all I ask is for your love in return.”
Her head swung from side to side, her face scrunched up. “I’m not good enough for you.”
“It’s me who isn’t good enough for you.”
“You should be with Liv.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?” I asked with more of an edge to my voice than I intended.
“Because she’s the right fit for you, not me. You could pick up right where you left off.”
I ground my teeth for a moment to try and calm down. “Where the fuck did you ever get the idea that I wanted to be with Liv?”
“Because you said it! You were all wistful and sad and you were thinking about how things could have been with her!”
My stomach dropped. “Oh, God.” I shook my head, finally understanding my pile of grave mistakes that day. “No, baby, no, that’s not it at all.”
“What the hell else could it have been?”
I set Kinsey back down on the floor and scooted closer to Roe. Reaching out, I then brushed her tears away.
“First—I don’t want Liv. At all. We fought non-stop and I stayed with her to do the right thing for our child. She’s a spoiled, gold-digging rich bitch, and I want nothing to do with her.”
“Then why were you all friendly and agreeing to talk soon and all that?”
“Because we do have history, shared trauma, but that’s it. What I was thinking about involved my son. I was thinking about how if I’d had him you would have opened up to me a lot sooner. That he and Kinsey could grow up as siblings.” I took hold of her hand. “I was wistful about what our life would have been like if I hadn’t lost him. It had nothing to do with Liv.”
Roe seemed to consider it for a moment before asking, “Did she ever call?”
I nodded. It happened earlier in the week. “She did. She wanted to meet and I told her no, that there was no reason to ever seen her again, and to delete my phone number.”
“Really?” she asked, her jaw clenching.
“Really.”
“But…”
“Why do you keep trying to make something out of nothing?”
“Because I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“What about what you’re doing to me? Do I deserve this because of the assholes in your past? Why is it so terrible that I want to take care of you because I want to? I want to be with you because you are the sunshine in my life. I’ve never been happier than these past few months. I love you, Roe, so much. I love Kinsey, more than I thought possible. Part of that is because I see how much you love her.”
The tears kicked up again and streamed down her face as she crumpled, her hands bracing against the floor. I rubbed her back in an effort to help her calm down.
I hated seeing her so broken, but it was the only way to put us back together. I had to make her face her fears before reinforcing my support.
“That bracelet I got you for your birthday was from the heart—you are my everything.”
She sat back up and rubbed her face. Kinsey cooed, her little forehead knitted as she looked at her mother. Kinsey made another uneasy transition to standing before Roe scooped her up into her arms.
“I need to show you something,” I said, then stood.
She looked to my outstretched hand, trepidation in her eyes as she slipped a shaking hand into mine. After helping her up, I kept hold of her hand and pulled her to the spare bedroom.
I gestured to the door.
“Open it.”
Her brow scrunched as she looked at me. “What is it?”
“Something I worked hard on for weeks and was ready to show you when you broke up with me.”
The moment the door swung open Roe’s eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open.