“It’s kind of hard to muster the energy to be excited when the reason you were doing all this in the first place is gone.”
She frowns. “I’m sorry, but what does that mean?”
I cover my face and break down in tears. Tash quickly comes over to my side of the table and wraps an arm around me, rubbing my back. It’s a sweet gesture, but I am so broken, I can’t stop crying.
The waiter puts our drinks and food on the table, but I ignore them.
“Do you want to leave?” Tash asks quietly.
I rub my cheeks and take a deep, shaky breath. “God, I’m sorry about that. I’m never like this in public. Please, sit down, and we’ll wait for Felix.”
“You don’t have to apologise for being upset. Would it help if you talked about it?”
“Probably not. But I’m grateful you’re keeping me company, so you deserve to know.” I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, handing it to her. “Open the last message from Rachel.”
She narrows her eyes but does what I say.
The words are seared on my brain.
I’m sorry to do this to you Link, but I couldn’t live a lie anymore. We both deserve better. I’m going to London with the girls to live with my parents. I hope one day you can forgive me.
She looks up at me, mouth agape. “What happened? She can’t just leave the country with your daughters without permission, can she?”
I stare at her, my eyes stinging with the effort to hold in further tears. “Apparently she can. Because it turns out, they’re not biologically mine.”
She gasps. “What the actual hell?”
I snort a bitter chuckle. “My sentiments exactly.”
“But that’s…that’s outrageous! How can someone do that to another person? How can she do that to you? You are the sweetest guy ever!”
I feel my face soften. “Well, you don’t know me very well, but I appreciate you saying so.”
“You were on reality TV twice, and I saw you both times. I know they say the footage on those shows is heavily manipulated, but I could still tell what you were like. I know when someone is only giving the impression of being nice and when they’re genuine. You’re the real deal.”
I pick up my chai and take a sip. “You are very kind. I’m glad Felix invited you today.”
“Can you take Rachel to court? Force her to let you see the girls?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to a lawyer yet. This only happened the other day, and I’m still getting my head around it.”
“Did she say who the father is?”
“Yeah. I finally got some information out of her once she landed in London. He’s some childhood sweetheart who lives near her parents over there. She told me they slept together once on a trip we did a while back. There was this one night where she told me she was going out with a bunch of old girlfriends and she didn’t want me along, saying I’d be bored. But instead, she hooked up with him.”
“How can she be sure he’s the father?”
“She had a paternity test done.” I clench my hands together. “And you know how long ago she knew?”
Tash doesn’t say anything.
“Before the girls were even fucking born! She had one of those diagnostic things done at twelve weeks! She’s been lying to me for four years!”
“I’m so sorry, Lincoln. That is truly, truly horrible.”
We sit in silence for a while. I nibble at my tart, but I’m not hungry. I feel bad dragging Tash into this mess. She doesn’t need to be a part of it.
My phone beeps, and I glance at the screen. “Felix is done. We should go back.”
She nods. We head outside and walk slowly back to the gallery. “Do you live nearby?” she asks. “I’m over in Highgate Hill.”
“I’m just in Ashgrove. Only about ten minutes away.”
“Well, I just want to say if you ever need anything, or if you want to hang out with me and my crazy friend Millicent, you’re always welcome.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. I have to admit, I don’t have a lot of close friends anymore. When I wasn’t playing gigs or working at a friend’s café, most of my time was taken up with Rachel and the girls.”
“I’m sure you have a bigger support network than you realise. But either way, it might be nice to spend time with people not associated with your inner circle.”
“Exactly.”
We get back to the gallery, and Felix is waiting outside. He looks pleased, but I can see him toning down the enthusiasm for my sake. I feel guilty that I’m ruining what would otherwise be a good day for him.
“How did you go?” I ask.
“Great. They’re going to do an exhibition in a few months.”
“That’s awesome.” I force a smile to show that I am actually really happy for him.
“What do you want to do now?” he asks. “Go out for lunch somewhere?”
I run my hands through my hair. “Actually, if it’s okay, do you mind dropping me at home? I’m sure Tash will be much better company.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Felix protests. “You need to be mingling in society.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night, so I’d prefer to go home and take a nap.”
Felix looks dubious but can see I’m not going to change my mind. “All right. Tash and I will get something to eat, and I’ll bring leftovers back to your place.”
I smile weakly. “Thanks.”
“Did you want to leave your car here and I can bring you back later?” Felix asks Tash.
“Oh, I caught the bus, so I can do whatever.”
“Perfect. My ride is over here.” He points to his sleek black Audi parked near the kerb.
“I like your car,” Tash tells him.
“Thanks.” He waves at the passenger side. “I’ll let you two fight it out for shotgun.”
“I’ll sit in the back,” I say immediately.
“No, no. You take the front,” Tash says.
“Too late.” I open the back door and slide in.
She gives me a stern look through the window, but I pretend not to notice.
She hops in the front seat. “Thank you, Lincoln.”
“My pleasure.”
***
Tash
It’s so weird, but I’ve gone from feeling like a starstruck groupie to an overprotective friend in the space of an hour. I just want Lincoln to feel better.
Felix turns the key in the ignition and types something into his phone. Within seconds, one of Lincoln’s performances from Sing to Me is blaring over the speakers. It’s a cover of Come Said the Boy, which was originally performed by Mondo Rock, but Lincoln’s arrangement sounds more like the Tex Perkins version.
My eyes light up, but Lincoln doesn’t seem at all amused.
“Turn that shit off,” he growls.
“Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the mood.” Felix changes the music. Soon, the Arctic Monkeys are singing Do I Wanna Know? instead.
We drive silently across to Ashgrove and down a quiet leafy street. Only, it’s not so quiet when we get near a contemporary-looking house with a big jacaranda tree out the front. There are at least six cars parked on the road and in the driveway. It takes a second before I realise there are also several people standing around with microphones and cameras.