“It’s a mocktail,” she says cutting me off. “I’m not silly.”
I gratefully take it from her, and we sit on her couch in the living room. I point to a glass on her coffee table that looks like it contains the same drink. “Does that one have alcohol in it?”
“No, I’m not a big fan of day drinking. It makes me sleepy.”
I smile, despite the cyclone of emotions competing for attention in my brain. “So, if it didn’t make you sleepy, you’d be permanently drunk?”
“Maybe. Although, work does frown upon being hammered while I’m hacking into secret government accounts. And I do have a son I have to pick up from school later. But enough about me, we have to talk about you!”
“I don’t even know what to say.”
“How did you manage to get pregnant? Didn’t you only sleep with Lincoln the one time?”
“Yep.”
“And you decided to skip birth control?”
“No! We used a condom. But obviously it failed.”
“Obviously. How did it go with Lincoln after I left?”
“I asked him to give me some space.”
“Is that what you wanted?”
“Not really. But I didn’t want him to feel trapped. He has to decide if he wants to be part of this on his own.”
She shakes her head. “While I sort of get that logic, I think you need to tell him how you really feel.” She takes a sip of her drink. “Man, who would have thought when you were watching Sing to Me back in April that you’d now be carrying the child of one of its contestants?”
“Oh God. This is surreal. I can’t be pregnant with Lincoln Page’s baby!”
“Forget about the fact that he’s a rockstar for a second and tell me how you feel about Lincoln, the person.”
“I really, really like him, Miss.”
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t know. Until recently, this was all just a fantasy. I don’t know him well enough yet.”
“I guess the only way to figure it out is to actually spend some time with the guy.”
“But I just sent him away!”
“I understand why you did, but I’m not sure it will make things any easier.”
“I guess I’ll give him a couple of weeks to make the first move. And if he waits until after I get the paternity test results, I’ll know my answer.”
She gives me a troubled look. “I hope that doesn’t happen. But either way, I’m here for you, babe. As are your parents.”
“We’ll have to wait and see about my parents. I haven’t told them yet. I can’t imagine what they’d think if I ended up being a single mother with two children to different fathers. You know my mum is kind of old-school.”
“She still loves you, so I know she will help. But if you need moral support when you go visit, I’ll come with you.”
I give her a tight hug. “Thanks, hon. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Right back ‘atcha. I’m actually surprised you’re the one with the unexpected pregnancy. I always thought it would be me.”
“There’s still time,” I joke.
“Easy there, babe. One new little creature in our lives is going to keep us very busy for a while. Besides, I’ve only had a few dates with Constantinos. He might not appreciate me talking about us having babies just yet.”
“Oh, crap! I’ve been so wrapped up in my own stuff, I forgot to ask how it’s going with him!”
She smiles goofily. “Actually, he’s really sweet. I’ll introduce you guys soon.”
“I’m so glad you’ve found someone nice!”
“Me, too. So, maybe we both finally struck it lucky.”
I gaze out the window. I hope that’s true and Lincoln turns out to be the guy I thought he was.
And if not, am I strong enough to do this all over again on my own?
I guess I might not have a choice.
TWENTY-FIVE
Lincoln
Bloody hell. Tash is pregnant? And I’m the father? How did that even happen? I wasn’t drunk that night in Sydney, and I remember using a condom. I know they’re not one hundred percent infallible, but still.
I leave Tash’s house in shock. What I thought was going to be a slow and hopeful reunion turned into a nuclear explosion.
As I drive home, I think about our conversation. She wants space. And she made it clear I wasn’t needed as part of her life. But did she mean it? Or was she just saying it because she didn’t want to impact my already-complicated situation?
One thing is for sure. I am not abandoning that woman. But I have to sort out something with the twins. I call Carter.
“Hey, I’m back from my tour so I can start organising the house sale. Any news from Rachel?”
“I’m afraid not. Her lawyer is stalling.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Probably hoping you’ll just give up.”
“I’m never going to give up. Is there anything you can do to speed things along?”
“I’m trying. But with Rachel out of the country, her lawyer is using the difficulties of communicating in different time zones as an excuse to drag things out.”
“Please see if you can get some sort of resolution in writing in the next few weeks.”
“Will do.”
I hang up, frustrated. That’s it. There’s no more time for messing around. If I’m about to have another child, I need to make sure I can also still see my first two.
And if Rachel and her lawyer are using the time difference as an excuse, I’m going to call their bluff and fly to the UK.
I book a flight to leave tomorrow and return before the end of the week. I don’t want to be away from Tash for too long, especially considering she thought I abandoned her before. It’s going to be exhausting, but I did just spend two months on the road. What’s another few days?
And I would endure anything to see my girls again.
Since Tash told me she wanted space, I figure I’ll contact her next week. Hopefully, that’s enough time for her. Because I can’t be away from her for longer than that.
***
After a ridiculous amount of time in the air, and a brief stop in Singapore, I finally reach Heathrow at around lunchtime London time. It’s nine hours later in Brisbane, which is really going to mess with my body clock. I didn’t sleep much on the plane, but the idea that I might be about to see my girls again keeps me going.
I’ve only visited Rachel’s parents once, and that was on the trip when the twins were conceived with another man. As my Uber pulls up in their driveway, my stomach churns. It’s almost more than I can take.
I nervously walk up the driveway and stand at the front door. After a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I knock.
No one answers. I can hear a TV playing loudly inside, so I knock a bit harder.
Finally, I make out the sound of footsteps walking down a hall, and the door opens.
It’s Rachel’s mum. She stands there, staring at me for a moment. “What do you want?”
“Are the girls here?” I ask.
“Nope.”