“That sounds fun. Kian’s been a good friend, huh?”
“Yeah, he’s prolly my best friend,” Emmy says nonchalantly.
“I’m so glad he was there when I couldn’t be.”
“I want you to come home now, Mommy.” Lou pouts.
“Soon, baby. Maybe Monday or Tuesday.”
“Monday would be perfect,” he replies.
Sara giggles. “I’ll see what I can do.”
After a couple hours, filled with a walk to the beach where we gathered seashells and waded through the water, it was time to go. Emmy and Lou cried through the goodbyes. Sara tried to be strong, but I still saw the tears she refused to let fall.
“Thank you, Archer. For everything. I’ll call you over the w-weekend and tell you the plan.” Sara gives me a departing hug.
“You look good, sis.”
“I feel good. Maybe it’s this place and things will look different when I get home, but I feel at peace and ready to get my life back.”
“I’m glad. Talk soon.”
With Emmy in my arms and holding Lou’s hand, we leave Seasons. I’m so close to checking off the box in my head labeled, Get Sara Settled. Then I move on to the next box, Figure Out My Life.
I try to sleep after putting the kids to bed, but my mind won’t shut down. Before I know it, it’s 2:00 a.m. and I know Kian will be walking through the door any moment. He texted me earlier to make sure I knew he was still planning on hanging out with the kids Friday while I work. It’ll be his last day here since Sara will most likely be coming home Monday.
Feeling thirsty, at least that’s what I tell myself, I get up from bed and go to the kitchen. I dawdle. I fill and drink an entire glass of water, but Kian doesn’t show up. I pour another glass and set it on the counter. I notice a few sticky fingerprints on the fridge and wet a paper towel to wipe them off. Still no Kian.
It’s when I’m sweeping the floor I finally hear a car door slam from outside. I rush to put the broom away and pick up my glass of water, acting nonchalant. The front door opens and closes quietly. I have the glass to my mouth when he finally turns the corner to the kitchen.
“Shit. You scared me.” He slaps his chest. He looks hot as hell. His dark gray, baggy slacks are rolled at the bottom and he’s paired them with brightly-colored tennis shoes. On top, he’s wearing a short-sleeved white button-up, the sleeves also rolled. But it’s the suspenders that do it for me. Black, thin, and make him appear adorably fuckable. I fight the urge to grab those things and yank him to me. My dick chubs and I’m quick to change my thoughts because I’m in my boxers and I’m seconds from revealing my desires.
“Sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t in yet. I just needed some water.” Lies. Lies. Lies.
“I’m just going to—” He hooks a thumb toward the hallway.
“It’s your last night, huh?” I ask, wanting to keep him talking.
“Guess so. I’m glad Sara’s doing so well and can come home. The kids must be so excited.” He takes his crossbody bag off, sets it on the ground, and takes a seat on a stool at the island, while I stand on the other side. Only a slab of Corian and some wood separate us, but he feels miles away.
“They’re beyond excited. They got a kick out of seeing her today.”
“I’ll bet. I’m sure they’ll tell me all about it.”
“How was work tonight?” I set the glass down and place my hands on the countertop, flexing my biceps and abs. It’s a childish attempt to see the heat in his eyes I’ve missed so much, but I need it. I have to make sure he’s still in it. That he isn’t completely over me. His lips part and I watch his Adam’s apple bob with a swallow. It tells me all I need to know.
“Busy,” he says, an octave lower than seconds ago. “Thursdays are the new Friday.”
“Busy is good.”
“Did you talk to Sara about the job?”
“I did. She wants it. Though she’s embarrassed and isn’t looking forward to facing you.”
“She shouldn’t be.”
“She hates that she put you out so much, but she’s thankful you were here. I am, too, you know?”
“I know.” He stands up and picks his bag up off the ground. “I’m wiped. Gonna head to bed.”
“Okay. See you after work,” I say and he gives me a tight-lipped smile before disappearing down the hallway.
I sigh. One step at a time.
I spend the weekend cleaning and organizing the house, stocking the fridge and cleaning Sara’s room. Although she isn’t an alcoholic, she was using alcohol to cope, so I empty the house of every drop, finding empty and half-empty bottles under her bed and in her bathroom. She’d been hiding more than I originally thought.
It’s weird to spend a weekend without Kian and I’ve pulled my phone out to text or call him numerous times, only to stop myself and put it away. I don’t know when I’ll be able to shoot my shot again, but teasing him with something I’m not ready for won’t win me points.
On Monday morning, I want to give myself a cookie for making it through the weekend. Emmy and Lou burst through the door at 7:00 a.m., as excited as they would be if we were at Disneyland.
“It’s Mommy day!” Emmy cheers while bouncing up and down on my bed.
“When will she be here?” Lou asks.
“In a couple hours.”
Seasons is bringing her home later this morning. I took the day off so I could be here when she is, but I’ve taken so much time off lately, today was the only day I was able to. I’m nervous about leaving her all alone tomorrow, but I trust the doctors when they say she’ll be fine. She has a plan and a backup plan and a backup plan for the backup plan. She’s strong, but most of all, she has a desire to be well and a cocktail of antidepressants and anxiety medication that seem to be working for her.
“Can we have cereal for breakfast?” Emmy cannonballs onto my chest and the air in my lungs expels with a whoosh.
“Oh, man. Em, I’m old. You can’t jump on me like that.” I barrel roll to the edge of the bed and get up. “Cereal it is.”
After breakfast and a walk to the park, we come back home to wait for Sara. I think we’re all nervous. I turn on a show and the kids quietly watch, piled on top of me. I hear the front door open and the kids freeze, staring at each other.
It doesn’t last.
They jump up and run to the door. Sara comes in, holding her duffle of clothes and toiletries I dropped off at the hospital before she left for Seasons.
“Hey, guys. I’m home.” Her eyes are bright and clear, her hair is down and in loose curls, and with the weight she’s put on, her cheekbones aren’t as prominent, and her eyes don’t look sunken in. She looks like the old Sara. Like the sister I remember.
Peace fills me. I’m not dumb enough to think the road ahead will be easy, but I do think it’ll be transparent and that’s what has me sighing in relief.
Kian
Sunday afternoon, I find myself cleaning up and preparing food for the girls and gays night Cato decided I needed. Since And Puppies! isn’t big enough for all of us, he assigned my house as the location for a sleepover. Jarrett, Fernando, Cato, and Jax’s deputy, Brie, will be arriving in a few short hours.